Vox Gems

I’ve gotten lax with these lately. There’s been a sharp drop in quality material, and I refuse to deliver a sub-par product. Enjoy the Gems!

Dishonorable Mention:
"It seems to be a coincidence that the prices go up drastically before St. Patrick's Day."
- Price increases are done to deter cheap Yankees.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Instead of drive-by shootings, why don't we drive by and throw out belts for people who can't keep their pants up?"
- Belts don’t kill people. Guns do.

Dishonorable Mention:
"At least you have the sense to buy your beer or liquor on Saturday to drink it on Sunday. Us religious people have a good life and choose not to drink it away."
- Piss off, cracker.

Second Runner-up:
"Everyone in Savannah needs to pay their Georgia Power bill exactly 29 days late to teach the bureaucrats some compassion for the disabled and those who are struggling to pay their bills. Maybe then they will revise their policies. It is a disgrace how they treat people."
- All that would do is give them more money in late fees. If you’re struggling to pay your electric bill, conserve.

First Runner-up:
"We went to the Tybee Island St. Patrick's parade and they threw quite a few beads. Next year I wish the city would buy more parade barricades and the parade committee would allow the participants to throw beads. It would make the parade much more interesting and exciting for the parade watchers. Other cities from Tallahassee to Galveston have been doing this safely for many years."
- If you want beads, go to Mardi Gras.

And your Gem of the Week:
"When will they ever finish Highway 17 in front of Wal-Mart? They've been working on it six years and the store is already being remodeled."
- This perfectly illustrates the difference between government and the private sector. Big Bad Wal-Mart, the source of all evil, has completely remodeled its store to provide customers with even more goods at everyday low prices and a more enjoyable shopping experience. Your government, however, has abandoned you. They continue to neglect your needs and drag their feet on road repairs. And why? Because they can. They don’t have to be efficient or even provide you with any service at all; they’ll get your tax money again next year. The road, meanwhile, will still have potholes big enough to go swimming in.

Happy Friday, folks.

Iran Is Asking For It

I'm sure everyone is aware of the 15 British Sailors being held hostage in Iran. Iran thinks they are being so clever. Like these hostages would ever make these statements without guns pointed at their heads. Iran has been screwing around way too much lately. Now they've pissed off the Queen.

It's Time For a Diet

Earlier today I stopped by another one of my favorite Athens eateries: Cali 'N Titos. Former Georgia students will know this as Caliente Cab, which has simply relocated to Lumpkin Street and changed names but has the same exact menu.

Anyway, all of this is beside the point. As I'm waiting patiently for my burrito ($6, but big enough for two meals, practically the best deal in town) a loud, obnoxious, obese sorority girl donned in really big "goofy" sunglasses and a tennis skirt that could easily be made into living room curtains makes her way to the counter to place her order. She makes clear to the cashier in her loud but raspy voice that she specifically wants her Cuban sandwich with "double steak" and "double cheese," with an extra side of fries.

And it got me thinking: government is essentially a giant, obese sorority girl. An alimentary canal with an endless appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. An ever-expanding, overfed monster that takes in so much and wastes so much money that's not even hers and constantly keeps asking for more, more, more. And when we decide to cut her diet by just the slightest bit by (God forbid) letting people keep more of the money they earn, her stomach growls with disdain even louder.

So when you hear Charlie Rangel and other Democrats in the Means and Ways Committee saying all options are on the table with regards to tax increases, ask yourself: why would we want to feed the Kappa Kappa Gamma girl's bottomless pit even further?

Minimum Wage

It's been quiet lately so I thought I'd throw something up. I saw this on The Onion.com.

Hillary/Orwell '08

Many of you have probably come across this ad (a spoof on the Macintosh commercial that aired during the 1984 Super Bowl) on TV or the internet in the past few days:



While I think the general concept is great, I have two big criticisms:

1. The clips they use from Hillary speaking are very mild-mannered, non-threatening, and mainstream. They don't really go at all with the message that's supposed to be conveyed. They could have done a much better job by using her "it takes a village," "I am going to take your profits," "we need to stop thinking about the individual and start thinking instead about society" quotes, or at least something where she actually sounds like the dictator she wants to be.

2. The ad purports to be in favor of Obama, whose voting record is just as socialist as Hillary's. While Obama's rhetoric isn't as bad as hers, what he does in practice is. So we could easily take down Hillary from the screen and replace it with Obama. Both want to take us down the road to serfdom by expanding the size and scope of government even further.

Countdown To Summer

After a two-year hiatus, Oldies 98.3 has returned to Savannah's airwaves, just in time for Summer. Chuck "Boom Boom" Cannon will be returning as well. Thank God.

Another new station I strongly recommend is 104.9 JOHN FM. They play beach music and old R&B constantly. If you listen to this station long enough you'll realize they play "Double Shot" and "Carolina Girls" at least once every hour, which is definitely my kind of station.

Only a little over 2 months 'til Memorial Day weekend...

Only 365 Days Left...

Above: Schwarz gives the camera his notorious "four" signal.

A pretty good parade yesterday. Weather was a little colder than most would have liked, but everything turned out fine.

The Good:
- The weather was okay.
- Sonny Dixon actually ended up being a decent guest speaker.
- The Oglethorpe Club to-go cups.
- Rick Schwarz is still alive.
- No one showed their ass. No arrests, DUIs, etc.

The Bad:
- It was damn near impossible to get a beer at Pinkie Master's (at least when I was there). I know this always seems to be the case, but this year it was beyond ridiculous.
- The barricades. It took what felt like an hour for me to get from the square to across the street. I'm sure it helped the parade move faster, but I don't think the benefits of this outweighed the costs.
- Compared to years past, no real drama or anything out of the ordinary. Except Aaron Bryan, who got in a nasty fight with one of the shrubs on the south side of Chippewa Square. And apparently Stephen and Schwarz got punched out by two Boston guys at McDonough's.

Overall Grade: B+

Quote of the Night: "I'll do whatever the hell I want, because you know what, I'm Michael Reardon and there's nothing anybody can do about that." - Michael Reardon

Thoughts and comments welcome, as always.

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

I took a hiatus last week to celebrate my birth, but I’m back now. Enjoy the Gems!

Dishonorable Mention:
"For the powerful and wealthy politicians, their friends and business associates come first, before health care for children. How can these so-called lawmakers look their own families in the face?"
- I don’t want politicians to ever have anything to do with health care. I wouldn’t get tax advice from my barber, and I wouldn’t let Stephen cut my hair.

Dishonorable Mention:
"The Comcast turtles might have it over the Geico gecko, but the Aflac duck tops them all."
- Shut up.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Can we please get a light at Paulsen and 63rd Streets?
- Vox Populi will not install street lights or traffic signals for you. Call the City Manager; he’ll refer you to the Department of Public Safety, who will refer you to the Department of Motor Vehicles, who will refer you to the Department of Public Works, who will then refer you back to the City Manager. I love government.

Second Runner-up:
"The soldiers and their wives complaining about the treatment at Walter Reed Hospital make me sick. People are such babies now. You're getting free medical care. Be grateful."
- You are an insensitive prick. What kills me is that all the bleeding hearts out there that think this Walter Reed situation is such a travesty, and it is a travesty, they still want to see publicized healthcare.

First Runner-up:
"As a 'tourist' who has zipped off an HOV exit in error, I observed that the exit lanes are marked identically to the through lane. The exit lanes need to be painted in a different color, with arrows indicating the through lane. Those left exits are most confusing to out-of-towners."
- Is it so hard to pay attention to where you’re going? Atlanta is a terrible place, but at least they have road signs. Don’t drive like a retard and you won’t crash. I also hate that you used the word “zipped.”

And your Gem of the Week:
"I am a man and occasionally get a manicure. I prefer to have clear-coat nail polish applied afterward. I wonder how women feel about that. Should I have them buffed, or is it ok to have the clear-coat polish?"
- This guy called Vox on his pink RAZR phone. What a pansy.

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, folks!

Like a Good Neighbor

This clip comes courtesy of College Humor, found by MacKenzie. It's from a news piece by WTOC, and just trust me on this: keep watching. The insanity rises minute by minute.

Anti-McCain '08

Today's Wall Street Journal opinion page (free to visit) does a great job examining McCain's record and revealing just how not conservative it is. Money quote:

While Sen. McCain's economic record is clearly mixed, a careful study demonstrates that even his pro-growth positions tend to be tainted by a heavy anti-growth undercurrent. This evidence, and the virulence of his rhetoric, suggest that American taxpayers cannot expect consistently pro-growth economic policies from a McCain administration.

Chippewa Square To Be Barricaded

It looks like they are barricading Chippewa and Lafayette Squares for the parade, and also in front of the Cathedral. Wouldn't it be more prudent to set up barriers on Bay Street to cage in all of the crackers?

A Very Inconvenient Truth

I'm sure y'all have seen this before, but for those who havent, check out this article from ABC about Al Gore.

The article describes the environmental activist's energy consumption. Al Gore's 20 room mansion blew through 221,000 kilowatt-hours last year. That's more than 20 times the national average. This is a perfect example of the hypocrisy of the limousine liberal.

The Worst Song Ever Written By A Beatle

Behold, Imagine. Of course this is not a Beatles tune, but it was written by John Lennon. I caught this song on tv or in a movie recently and I immediately remembered having to sing it with the rest of my classmates for some assembly in the eighth grade. Had I known then what I know now, I would have protested and refused to sing. This song is nothing but an anthem to Communism. Just look at the lyrics.

Imagine theres no heaven,

Its easy if you try,

No hell below us,

Above us only sky,

Imagine all the people

Living for today...

Imagine theres no countries,

It isnt hard to do,

Nothing to kill or die for,

No religion too,

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

Imagine no possessions,

I wonder if you can,

No need for greed or hunger,

A brotherhood of man,

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,

But Im not the only one,

I hope some day you.ll join us,

And the world will live as one.

I only wish I was better informed back in eighth grade, but I just didn't know.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose

After last night's "bye" week I am going through Friday Night Lights withdrawal. Then I took it upon myself to watch 4 straight previous episodes I've already seen online last night. This is the best goddamn show on TV.

I don't mean to politicize things, as I always tend to do, but I think this show is pure Red State America: hot girls, belief in God, caring more about sports than academic/intellectual BS, humility, raising hell, high school kids drinking Budweiser and not Starbucks. It's a far cry from the OC or Grace and Will or Sex in the City or whatever. It's the most realistic show I've seen on TV in a long-ass time. Hell, it may even be the first realistic show I've ever seen on TV.

So, for all of ya'll that haven't watched the past 16 episodes, do yourself a favor and catch up by going to NBC.com/fnl, where you can watch all them there. And after that, tune in on Wednesday nights at 8pm on NBC.

First St. Patrick's Weather Projection

I'm not sure if anything can match the weather we had last year, but it looks good so far. As we all know, that can change quickly. 9 more days.

Wilson Phillips

After posting that Clerks 2 clip, I searched for another one of my favorite scenes from a comedy that isn't hugely popular. This is from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. If you remember Wilson Phillips, their song "Hold On," and how in the beach shot of the music video they kept Carnie Wilson covered up while the other two showed skin, then you will appreciate this. We've all wanted to do this.

The Evolution of Athens Nightlife

I thought now would be a good time to step back and look at how the Classic City bar scene has evolved over the last 6 years. In bold were the bars that were really "in" at that particular time. If I've left off anything please let me know.

FRESHMAN YEAR

Fall 2001
- Uptown Lounge
- El Centro
- Georgia Theatre
- Bird Dog
- Firehouse

Spring 2002
- Bird Dog
- El Centro
- Uptown Lounge
- Georgia Theatre
- Roadhouse
- Molly O'Shea's

SOPHOMORE YEAR

Fall 2002
- Bourbon Street (upstairs opens)
- Bird Dog
- El Centro
- Last Call (a very short-lived phase)
- East/West
- Roadhouse

Spring 2003
- Hedges
- Bourbon Street
- J.R.'s
- East/West
- Roadhouse

JUNIOR YEAR

Fall 2003
- Bourbon Street
- General Beauregard's
- Boar's Head
- East/West

Spring 2004
- Bourbon Street (the long "bench" downstairs is replaced with booths)
- Boar's Head
- General Beauregard's
- Cutter's

SENIOR YEAR

Fall 2004
- Boar's Head
- Cutter's
- Bourbon Street
- Winery
- Roadhouse

Spring 2005
- Cutter's
- Allgood
- Bourbon Street
- Copper Creek
- Winery

LAW SCHOOL

Fall 2005
- Winery
- Firehouse
- Bourbon Street
- Genco
- Allgood
- The Arch

Spring 2006
- Firehouse
- Bourbon Street
- Genco
- Allgood
- The Arch
- Buddha Bar

Fall 2006
- Firehouse
- Bourbon Street
- Allgood
- The Arch
- Buddha Bar

A few remarks:

* During Freshman year, we'd always ride the Russell Hall night bus downtown, which would already be packed by the time it stopped at O-House.

* Since its controversial inception in the Spring of 2002, Bourbon Street has been the standard-bearer. However, because no one stays at Bourbon Street past 11, it never really qualified as an "in" bar except during its initial prime (Fall of '02).

* During the Spring of '03, there was a short-lived but intense Hedges phase. While it didn't last long, there was a period of about 3 months or so where it was literally the only bar we would go to (after Bourbon Street, of course).

* El Centro was known as the Savannah bar in early days. By 2004, most of the Savannah crowd had "graduated" to Cutters, which essentially became a white-collar, drug-free version of El Centro.

* Due to its close resemblence to the legendary Uptown Lounge, Firehouse immediately left a bad taste in everyone's mouth after freshman year. However, it has recently experienced a renaissance of sorts. Reason? $1 well pints between 9-10. But beware, the Mexicans start showing up around 11 or so.

Lord of the Rings vs. Star Wars

I just watched a pretty good movie, Clerks 2. In the midst of this decent comedy was one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in a movie. It's three-and-a-half minutes of nerds debating which trilogy, LOTR or Star Wars, is the better trilogy. It's heavily slanted in favor of Star Wars, so you anti-LOTR people should be satisfied.

Profanity in Liberal vs. Conservative Blogs

I thought this article was interesting which searched the 18 biggest Lefty blogs, and 22 biggest Righty blogs for George Carlin's infamous "7 dirty words." It found, not surprisingly I might add, the Liberal blogs used profanity more than the Conservative ones at a ratio of 18 to 1. I wanted to hear why this was true from some liberals, so I went to the Fark.com comment forum related to the linked article to see how they responded. Here are a few of the ones that helped me understand why Liberals need to cuss about politics:


2007-03-01 09:21:38 PM1rtfarm

Maybe because it's hard to curse when you're diddling little boys?

Alright, a Foley scandal reference!

2007-03-01 11:40:11 PMrlbigfish

I know it's been said in one way or another...but the Left's got more of a reason to be pissed off. It has to do with them wanting the freedoms that the Right is taking away.

Because Conservative ideology is about restricting the rights of the individual and increases the role of the government.

2007-03-02 06:01:07 AMRunningjoke

Democrats = Rude emotional non-thinking cry babies
Republicans = Polite cold calculating callous baby killers

Those republicans are always killing babies!

2007-03-02 06:57:59 AMschrodingers cat

Most self respecting Christian conservatives would never do anything as undignified as - goodness - swearing in public, (and certainly not on a static IP address) as they much prefer the cloak of darkness before putting on their wife beaters to go score some meth and an underage gay prostitute just to build up enough spiritual guilt and indignation to stomach legislating morality to us Heathens that would be living in a cave, fornicating with sheep, if not, for the grace of God, go'eth they.

Alright.

2007-03-02 07:00:01 AMa large angry dinosaur

Yeah you know what this headline says to me? That rightwingers are almost entirely middle aged, middle upper class squares with a serious case of stickarse. Leftists are the movers and the changers, the people with opinions instead of soundbites.Even if you buy none of that, swearing is cool and I'm proud that people who share my views use it. If it keeps idiots from reading the blog in mortal terror that they might be offended that's only good news to me.There are more important problems in the world than people getting offended and the sooner Bible beaters understand this, the better. In fact, people getting offended does not even register on my Care-O-Meter these days.

Basically it is cool to swear. Leftists are the movers and the changers. I don't even know what that means. One post made a lot of sense, though:

2007-03-02 07:21:43 AMPoint02GPA

I bet it has something to do with their upbringing.

I bet you are correct. Our Dads may have swore around us but we got our asses kicked if we trotted around in public cussing up a storm.

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

I got some good stuff this week. Here they are, your Gems of the Week.

Dishonorable Mention:
"The squares are downtowner's front lawns. How would you like it if someone pitched a tent in your front yard and partied all night with noise and then expected to use your powder room?"
- First, the squares are public property. Second, no one around here uses the terms “downtowner” or “powder room.” You must be a Yankee.

Dishonorable Mention:
"What in tarnation is going on with President Bush? Does he know what he is doing with America? (sic) Clinton, if you're out there, please come back into office."
- I can’t even touch this one.

Dishonorable Mention:
"The next thing to ban should be the big carts full of food and drinks they haul to the parade and crowd the sidewalks with. Can't they go three hours without feeding their faces?"
- I’m okay with the food and drink carts at the Parade, but the junk vendors have to go. Everyone knows who I’m talking about. I’m not proposing a ban; the City doesn’t need to get involved. Just don’t buy their crap and they’ll go away. You kid does not need a horn or plastic sword or inflatable baseball bat to enhance his enjoyment of the Parade.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Educate yourself and become a senator or don't and become president."
- Oh that’s cute. Hinting that our president is uneducated; that’s precious. Our president is a graduate of one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Where did you go to college? Where’d you go to high school for that matter? Did you even finish?

Third Runner-up:
"It breaks my heart that our historic downtown is going to condos and hotels. It really takes away from our beautiful city, and parking is terrible. Oh, how I miss the old Savannah."
- I disagree. The hotels are vital to our tourism industry here. Say what you will about the annoying tourists; and they are annoying, but they spend disgusting amounts of money here and I’m okay with that. As for condos, I want to see more built. If there are a lot of condo units available in the historic district, then prices will go down and I might be able to afford one.

Second Runner-up:
"Payday lenders are vultures who prey on the working poor and politicians who support vultures should be tarred and feathered."
- Payday lenders provide a service. They do so because it’s profitable for them. A payday advance is a high-risk loan because those who use them generally have little income and little or no personal savings. Because there is more risk, the interest rate is higher. This practice is not predatory. Save money, live within your means, and pay your credit card off every month. This is the path to sound financial living.

First Runner-up:
"The mafia of big oil and its local henchman have begun their yearly economic terrorism with 10 percent hikes in the price of gas in just a couple of weeks. Gas prices of $3 per gallon are predicted, and economic stagnation will follow just like last year. The gouging of hard working Americans must end."
- Here we go again with the gas prices. What we’ve seen over the past month is natural market fluctuation. Pat made this point over a year ago, but I’ll reiterate: gas was less than $2 a gallon three weeks ago. Was “Big Oil” less greedy three weeks ago?

And your Gem of the Week:
"What on Earth is a thesaurus?"
- I swear I did not make this up.

Happy Friday, folks.

Two more weeks.....