Humpday Haiku

Soccer is over.
Wind Rose could move up the list.
Happy July Third!

Top 5 Tuesday

This Week's Top 5: Songs to kick off a road trip to a college football game (in sequential order)

1. Sweet Emotion - Aerosmith
2. Don't Bring Me Down - Electric Light Orchestra
3. Soul to Squeeze - Red Hot Chili Peppers
4. Hard to Handle - Black Crowes
5. Sabotage - Beastie Boys


**UPDATE**
I tried Jimmy John's on Friday, and I stand by my original Top 5 Italian subs.

2010 World Cup

We were not good enough. Plain and simple.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Pabst Gets a New Owner

Well known investor, C. Dean Metropoulos has agreed to terms to purchase Pabst Brewing Company for $250 Million (100 million tallboys). THis is the same guy who reinvigotated brands such as Vlasic, Chef Boyardee and Duncan Hines.

Is our beloved beer in for a facelift?

This is a real commercial

I have seen the original Shake Weight (for women) commercial many times, but I saw this one for the first time this morning. The homoeroticism is so obvious, it's almost funny.

Humpday Haiku

Unbelievable!
An American hero.
Landon Donovan.

Top 5 Tuesday

This Week's Top 5: Bars I went to when I was home from college that I would not want to go to again.

1. Mercury Lounge
2. The Bar Bar
3. Loco's
4. Sorry Charlie's
5. Savannah Blues

Do You Like Free Candy Bars?

Gallup surveyed voters earlier this week asking this question:

Would you favor additional government spending to create jobs and stimulate the economy?

The results are not surprising: 60% of respondents said "yes", including 52% of independents. Who doesn't want more jobs and a stimulated economy?

Gallup is usually credible but I have to chide them for this one, because the question could (and should) have been worded much differently. I'd have probably asked it this way:

Would you favor additional government spending intended to create jobs and stimulate the economy, even if it wouldn't end up doing either?

Maybe the results would have been a little different.

Humpday Haiku

Today is Thursday.
I missed my Humpday deadline.
Only nine more months!

Top 5 Tuesday

This week's Top 5: Italian Subs

1. Baldino's
2. Giorgio's
3. Blimpie
4. Publix
5. Lenny's

Webber is Engaged!!

 Congrats to the blog's favorite non-BC grad.  Schedule of events:

• Bachelor party some time next March in Pulaski, Tennessee.  Not exactly sure why.  Something about a "secret fraternity" he is in being founded there. 
• Rehearsal dinner:  tentative.  Probably either Ryan's Steakhouse or Golden Corral.
• Wedding at the Cathedral.  Coastal Cathedral.
• Reception to follow at the Alee Temple, featuring the Hank Daniels' cover band. 

In all seriousness, we wish Charlie the best of luck and future success as a family man.  We all know he is the hardest-working cracker around, and while he never stepped foot on the plaza or had to wear a JROTC uniform, we still somehow find ways to tolerate him.  We'll never understand why his ancestors felt the need to break away from the one, true, universal Church back in the day, but we'll try to forgive them (even if God won't).  Congratulations, Charles, and remember:  the kingdom and the power and the glory are yours, now and forever.  Whatever the hell that means.  

Vox Populi Video Bonus

Memorial Day..

Vox Populi Gems of the Week

"SCAD had a concert recently and people had dogs there and one almost bit me. Concerts are for the public, not dogs. Someone can get bit."

"It is a pure case of age discrimination if Russ, Uga's 5-year-old half-brother and temporary mascot for UGA, is not chosen to be the official mascot. He is proven to be fit and ready to perform all Bulldog duties."

"We really need fast-food restaurants and a Carey Hilliard's in Richmond Hill."

"Go ahead and laugh at our Obama bumper stickers. At least our guy is still in office."

"When did it become standard practice to not give napkins for your fast food meal at the drive through window? When did we have to start asking? Go figure."

"At Johnny Mercer and Penn Waller Road, they 'paved paradise and put up a parking lot.' Those people tried to save the trees a year and a half ago."

"The Richmond Hill High School graduation was the worst I've ever been to due to the guests in the bleachers. The yelling and hooting sounds were undignified and a poor reflection of the entire program."

The Seven Wonders of the Post-Modern World

1.  Skidaway Road, est. 1960.  The original, but unlike most originals, not the best.  Service is generally slow but what more do you expect when Atom Smashers and Savannah State grads (Johnson is the better school, by the way) are too busy snorting drugs instead of trying to remember if you wanted cole slaw or extra fries?

2.  Waters Ave., est. 1968:  The one and only.  Yea I know, there are 7 locations total, but there is only one Waters Avenue.  The classic post-game celebration destination for thousands of BC fans over the last 42 years.  A hop, skip, and jump away from Mayfair, Kings Way, and Memorial Stadium.  The quickest and best service in America, hands down.  And probably the best tea, too.     

3.  Highway 80, est. 1972:  I used to go here a pretty good bit the summer after freshman year of college while working at Samson Industrial.  Lunchtime crowd features all different faces from blue-collar Savannah.  You will find hard hats, ear plugs, and Skoal containers resting next to plates of barbecue full and hush puppies.    

4.  Abercorn Extension, est. 1976:  The largest location.  This was the site of the steak dinner the Athletic Association used to put on for the football players the night before the BC-Savannah High game.  This  tradition was unfortunately discontinued in 1998 when those in charge felt it would make too much sense to keep something that everyone liked in place. 

5.  Highway 21, est. 1995: Always get this one mixed up with the one on Highway 80.  So whatever I said about that one applies to this one too. 

6.  Pooler, est. 2004:  Nestled in the heart of Raider country, you will find many patrons with camo hats and long sideburns thumbing through passages of their King James Bibles in between bites of hamburger steak on Friday nights during Lent.  

7.  Statesboro!! est. 2009!!:  It looks like they even hired Porter to work there!! 

The Twelve Months of Hilliard's: June

Ocean-fresh flounder and two sides for only $ 9.99.  355-2468.  Or #1 on my speed dial and I don't even live in Savannah.

Breaking News on Seawright Drive

Benedictine accepts invitation to WAC

SAVANNAH - Sources close to Benedictine Military School have announced that an invitation to join the Western Athletic Conference (WAC) has been offered and accepted. With its footprint now stretching from Honalulu to Savannah, the WAC can claim the title of the nation's first "coast-to-coast" athletic conference. Asked to comment on the WAC's expansion all the way to the east coast, WAC commissioner Karl Benson replied, "Why the hell not? We already have Louisiana Tech." The addition of the Cadets also adds the #97 TV market, allowing the conference to negotiate a new television contract with FOX, worth an estimated ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Humpday Haiku

Wooden was great man.
Some say the best coach ever.
Not as good as Carl.

Top 5 Tuesday

Here is another attempt at a weekly post series.

This week's Top 5: Tybee Bars

1. Benny's
2. Doc's
3. Bernie's/Wind Rose (essentially the same place)
4. Hucapoo's
5. The (Fifth) Quarter

Another Fool on Capitol Hill

The Beatles are my favorite band. But this doesn't change the fact that Paul McCartney smoked a lot of pot in the 60's and has no idea what he's talking about outside of music. Over the weekend, after receiving some needless award from the president, he remarked that "after eight years, it's good to finally have a president who knows what a library is."

Nevermind the fact that George W. Bush was married to a librarian. Or that he spent more, in both inflationary and real terms, on libraries than any president in history.

I know a lot of our readers don't follow politics and don't understand why people like me even bother.  And it's in moments like these I think those people actually have a point: because the dialogue becomes so convoluted and devoid of facts/history/etc. that it's generally not worth following.

I mean, the main reason I didn't like Bush is because he did something that McCartney is falsely attacking him for not even doing.  It would be like bashing the writers of Lost for trying to answer too many questions in the season finale.  It's so off-base and unfounded yet it is the general perception and dialogue that plagues and enslaves people into the left vs. right debate in this country.

There's a reason my favorite McCartney song is "Think For Yourself."  Oh wait, that one was by George.  Zing.

Sack Tapping

They should post this story in the hallways at BC. It was always one of my greatest fears walking down the hallway. That, and being seen with Pat Holland.

From: http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/health/Teenager-Has-Testicle-Amputated-After-Tapping-Game_37231261?obref=obinsite

A Minnesota teenager had to have his testicle amputated after being punched in the groin by a classmate, KARE11.com reported Friday.

David Gibbons, 14, was changing classes in his Crosby, Minn. high school when he was attacked by another student playing a game called “sack tapping.”

David’s mother, Christy Gibbons, said it wasn’t until hours later that they realized something was wrong.

"One o'clock in the morning he woke me up and told me he was in excruciating pain," she said.

David was taken to St. Joseph's Hospital in Brainerd, Minn. where surgeons removed his right testicle.

And David is not the only student who has suffered the consequences of the “sack tapping” game.

"It's just gotten way out of control," said Dr. Scott Wheeler, a urologist in Brainerd, Minn. who says he performs three to four surgeries a year on boys with ruptured testicles and other complications as a result of “sack tapping.”

"All parents, you need to have this talk with your kids not to do it. It's lost its humor. It's not a game anymore. People get hurt," he added.

Humpday Haiku

Summer is now here.
That means four-day weeks for me.
Humpday now Tuesday.