Recap: Auburn Weekend

Things started off well Friday night. After sitting on 316 for what seemed like hours I roll into town in my rental car and enjoy a nice dinner with the other three members of my family at Olive Garden (which is really just the Italian Applebee's because everything is obviously just heated up frozen stuff; I could do a hell of lot better spaghetti and meatballs than they do).

We get to the BC reunion at Bourbon Street upstairs around 10:30 and it's already packed. But that's okay because anywhere between 30-60% of the entire crowd is BC/SVA people. Fight song was sung numerous times, both Friday and Saturday nights. Just as Donnie Bell tells his fifth or sixth prospect he wants to rape her and tells her something about 9/11, power hour ends and everyone is angry because liquor drinks are now $2 instead of $1.

We stay at "Bourbon" for awhile and then hit a few other places. Finally make it back to my sister's around 3 am.

We head to a tailgate the next morning where cadets Fogarty and Shearouse are present. We celebrate the 5A decision and sing the fight song. I then finally get in touch with Ryan Smith, who I think is still a blogger on here. We head downtown and knock a couple back at Arch Bar.

Somewhere in between figuring out the only state capital that contains three words and hearing Ryan's story about having to leave the homecoming game because he felt awkward for purposely giving Nardis Walker his parent's phone number instead of his own to avoid having to explain why he hadn't been returning Nardis' calls which then prevented Nardis from being able to call him right there on the spot and confirm it was in fact his cell phone number, I get a phone call from Stephen Bruce. Unfortunately my phone doesn't have an option where you can replay what the caller is saying at one-tenth the original speed (kind of like the Talkboy from Home Alone or that thing they used in Dick Tracy to find out what Mumbles was saying), so I have no idea what he's told me. I always have a problem interpreting Burnside Island accents but Bruce's is by far the worst.

Anyway, I assume he's trying to say that he's in town and at the Zeigler's tailgate, and I'm right. We meet up there and I try to convince him that marriage is a poor decision. Given my track record with Will and TC, it surprisingly doesn't stick and we leave from there to get something to eat at "Tate II," a giant waste of marble and concrete that serves no economic/academic purpose whatsoever but looks pretty cool.

After the game we make it back to Bourbon Street. Same crowd is there for round 2. After about the 7th Toby Keith standard everyone heads across the street to what used to be Tasty World. Schwarz and McCarthy need a place to stay so they come back with us. Rick has a few choice words for the random people already asleep on the sofa.

We all head out the next morning, leaving the Classic City so we can hurry back to the "real world", filled with its traffic, minorities, middle-aged fat women, overpriced alcohol, and poorly-run Chick-fil-A's.

I can only end this on a positive note by saying move over Kelly and say hello to my new crush. Her name is Taylor and her song gets played every hour in every Athens bar. Why can't she see? She belongs with me!