If any of you have been following the nonsense over at our bastard stepchild blog OIA (which you probably have not), then you have seen the debate about who is the real Fender. Currently holding the belt is Jeffrey "Fro Pup" Fender '01. The challenger is an upstart from St. James named Robert "Schwarz, Jr." Fender '07. The tape does not lie, so let's jump right in.
Alias
Jeffrey: Fro Pup
Robert: Schwarz, Jr.
Advantage: Jeff
Class of
Jeffrey: 2001
Robert: 2007
Advantage: Jeff
JROTC Rank
Jeffrey: Major
Robert: Major
Advantage: Push
Family currently attending BC
Jeffrey: nephew
Robert: brother
Advantage: Robert
Higher education
Jeffrey: maybe some classes at Savannah Tech
Robert: University of Alabama
Advantage: Robert
College team of choice
Jeffrey: Clemson
Robert: Alabama
Advantage: Jeff (always been a Clemson fan)
Ultimate career goal
Jeffrey: Manager of Tubby's in Thunderbolt
Robert: Insurance agent
Advantage: Push
Most often compared to
Jeffrey: Charlie Webber
Robert: Rick Schwarz
Advantage: Robert
Parochial school attended
Jeffrey: BSS
Robert: SJS
Advantage: Jeff
Ever slid in a pile of dog shit at recess?
Jeffery: Yes
Robert: No
Advantage: Robert
Known Snuffy since
Jeffrey: 1991
Robert: 2006
Advantage: Jeff
Final Score:
Jeffrey: 5
Robert: 4
There you have it, folks. The tape does not lie.
3 comments:
As I recall it, the pile of shit in question was actually human- from the floor of the BSS boys bathroom in 7th grade.
SJS > BSS
Ty is correct.
The pile of shit was on the floor of the "old school" bathroom.
It had to be of human origin.
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