Friday, April 27, 2007

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

It’s my pleasure to bring the Gems back this week. Enjoy!

Dishonorable Mention:
"If legal U.S. citizens who happen to be parents commit crimes and are caught, what happens to their children?"
- The children are fed to whatever carnivorous wildlife is indigenous to the region. Down here in Georgia, they’re fed to alligators; up north, bears.

Dishonorable Mention:
"The city of Savannah should be ashamed. Our church held an Easter Walk in Forsyth Park on Sunday. It was like walking through a cow pasture. I thought people with dogs that use that park were supposed to clean up behind them. Shame, shame, shame."
- “Feel bad for me; I stepped in poo-poo. I like to say ‘shame’ a bunch of times to make people feel bad about things.”

Dishonorable Mention:
"I have blocked on my computer and do not allow my teenager on that site."
- I’ll bet you $20 your teenager knows how to get on MySpace, regardless of whether or not you blocked it. Kids know computers. Either that, or your teenager gets on at a friend’s house. You’ve stopped nothing. Now go be a good parent and actually EXPLAIN the dangers of a site like MySpace. Everyone knows MySpace is for weirdos and pedophiles anyway.

Dishonorable Mention
"Bacon Park golf course is the worst looking course in the state of Georgia."
- That’s because it’s run by the city. Not only has the course fallen into disrepair, but the staff is deplorable. I stopped by after work to hit a quick bucket at the range and they wouldn’t sell me a bucket because they didn’t turn the lights on at night at that particular time of year. The sun was still shining at this time. Bacon Park is a dump, but at least it’s cheap.

Dishonorable Mention:
"'Mother Nature Spares Legends' was your headline last week. With all of the people in the Northeast who were without power and have lost their homes and businesses to the storm, it's good to know a bunch of rich people could still enjoy their golf tournament."
- We don’t live in the Northeast. We’re smart enough not to live there, so we don’t have to deal with “nor’easters,” whatever the hell those are. God loves both golf and the city of Savannah.

Second Runner-up:
"The network pulled out early and the 'Dancing with the Stars' ending was cut off at almost every ABC station in the country. The host, Tom Bergeron, issued an apology and a recap of the ending on behalf of the network. This was aired on WJCL. So take your e-mails to the ABC network or maybe try calling the station next time for an explanation."
- We really throw the terms “star” and “celebrity” around way too loosely. With the exception or Clyde “The Glide,” I don’t know a single person on that show. I know there’s a girl with a fake leg. That’s about it. Oh, and I almost forgot: “…pulled out early…” Total cheap laugh.

First Runner-up:
"Thank you Rolling Thunder. Score a win for you and a loss for all those 'testosterone trucks' on Johnny Mercer, Islands Expressway and President Street. It was wonderful to see reason, sanity, and lawful driving return to the vicinity. We'd like you to stay longer than 90 days."
- What is a testosterone truck? And don’t thank Rolling Thunder for anything. So there’s been more police in town. That’s great, but can you tell me why there was a shooting AND a stabbing in one night not a block from City Hall? But hey, at least doughnut sales are through the roof. Also, to the cop that rode on my ass for 10 miles one day last week: shave your mustache; you look like a child molester.

And your Gem of the Week:
"Thank you to the city of Savannah for the pretty little boot they put on my car when I ran into the Federal building for about five minutes. They know they have parking problems and they're going to bear down on people like that?"
- This is your fault. You parked and didn’t pay. Dog the Parking Meter Attendant just gave you a heaping helping of justice. You probably double parked too. “Oh I’m in SUCH a hurry. I know I parked over the line, but it’ll just be a minute. Hold your horses!” I hate you.

Happy Friday, folks!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Still want to publicize healthcare?

In yet another semi-comical mistake at one of Ireland's publicly funded hospitals, a patient who was declared and certified dead was later found to be awake and alert when the morticians arrived to collect his remains. Apparently, he was suffering from the debilitating condition known as "sleep."

This is the same public healthcare system that shipped a dead English tourist back to England with someone else's organs stitched up inside. I sure hope this guy was actually dead before they removed his organs.

You can read the full story on

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

DOW 13,000

The Dow set yet another record today. And the unemployment rate remains at 4.4%. Ponder this for a moment. This means that of all the people who can work in this country, 95.6% have jobs. 95.6%. Seriously, think about that.

Hannity and others say that if it wasn't for Iraq, Bush's poll numbers would easily be in the high 60s right now (around where Clinton's were at this point in his 2nd term). But I don't necessarily agree with this, because I think the press would still find a way to downplay the current state of things (i.e., gas prices) and the administration, as usual, would fail to produce an effective response.

When we pick a candidate to run in the next election, we need someone who can communicate and sell the message effectively. This has by far been Bush's biggest weakness. In the 90s, every time the Dow broke new records, Clinton would go on TV, take credit for it, eloquently explain how great things currently were, and then take a few questions. The current president rarely does this, and even when he tries he just ends up stuttering a lot, which only serves as late-night John Stewart fodder.

Both Reagan and Clinton proved how important the power of the pulpit was. And the good news about the '08 GOP field is most of the contenders are effective speakers. Now if they can just find backbones.

Best Songs of the 90s - Addendum

I had a revelation today about this subject and felt like it was good enough to start a new post rather than adding a comment to the old one that no one would see. Every song that Pat listed was indeed well-written and memorable. Most importantly, though, every song was sung well, which is what really separates these songs from today's radio hits. Both eras have singers that fall into certain categories:

Mid 90s:
-Singers who have a technically and traditionally good voice: Adam Duritz, Darius Rucker, Ed from Live
-Good singers who had an edge to their voice, but still melodic: Scott Weiland, Eddie Vedder, Dave Grohl, Daniel Johns from Silverchair
-Singers who weren't traditional, but had distinctive voices that remained accessible: Billy Corgan, Billie Joe Armstrong, John Popper, Liam Gallagher

-Bad singers who whine, are too high-pitched, and all sound the same: Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, 30 Seconds to Mars, Linkin Park, many other faceless radio bands I've heard in passing.
-Singers who think they sound raw and sincere, but are undeniably corny: Nickelback, Hinder, Creed, Staind, Default, 3 Doors Down
-Guys who don't even sing, but just scream and grunt: Disturbed, Drowning Pool, etc.

Would the newer bands' songs sound any better if they had good singers? Probably not, but I thought it was worth noting. Anything to get the thought of cole slaw out of my mind.


You can find this at Manuel's Tavern on the corner of North Highland and North Ave. in Atlanta.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Not a Murderer

The feeling I have right now is betrayal. Confusion. This must be what it feels like to be sat down by the two people you've known as "Mom" and "Dad" your whole life and be told that you are not actually their child. But through the fog of anger, there is a beam of hope. Sure, I can wallow in resentment of the secret that has been unearthed, or I can make up for lost time the best I can.

In my mind, I am recounting the hundreds of times it happened. A road trip. A hungover Sunday. Or just one of those days where having Wendy's for the third time in one week doesn't have any appeal. And every time it started with these words: "Alright, I'm going to Chick-fil-A." Let's reach far back. I can remember the last time I had a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A. I was in second grade at Calvary, when all of the sudden I bit into one, and out came a tooth. So not only did that put a false notion in my head that eating their sandwiches would make me lose all my teeth, but it happened right around the same time that I had my first allergy test, wherein I learned that I am allergic to all nuts. I am informed that Chick-fil-A cooks all of its food in peanut oil, so that's where it ends.

I don't remember when it began, but somehow the waffle fries became a consolation prize for me. I never technically forgot that they too were cooked in peanut oil, but it just became convenient to ignore after I had no bad reaction after eating them. Stupid? I guess, but it's kind of like "forgetting" to wash your hands after going poo - it's just time to move on to something else, you know? Well, it hit me as I was driving that it's kind of strange that I can eat waffle fries with no consequences, yet it's cooked in peanut oil like everything else they have. I Googled the subject this morning, and there's a reason I've never had a reaction...

I can eat anything at Chick-fil-A. I can be a real person now. Turns out that when peanut oil is heated, it removes the protein from peanuts that causes the allergic reaction. I don't know where to begin. What should I order first? What isn't that great? Teach me to live.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Best Songs of the 90's

If there's one thing our generation will be remembered for it will probably be the terrible music we've had to endure for most of our lives.

The only real exceptions to this have been:

1) The 80's (Michael Jackson, Huey Lewis, Genesis, Tears for Fears, The Police, Wham, Culture Club, etc.), and

2) That short period in the mid 90's that peaked right around 6th grade (1994-1995). For whatever reason, you had lots of good bands from across the spectrum that were putting out good music. Rock music was actually cool to listen to and didn't involve excessive yelling, grunting, spiked hair, tattoos, goatees, and white trash. In short, rock music was something you'd hear on college campuses and on MTV, not in Strip Clubs or commercials.

By late 7th grade, things started to turn sour (think No Doubt, the Goo Goo Dolls, and the Macarena), and I'm sorry to say that things still have yet to turn back around since.

So here's my top 15 songs from that 5th - 7th grade period, and they might as well be the best songs of the whole decade because it never got any better after this.

P.S. - There are clearly some strange bedfellows here. I'm sure if Silverchair knew they were being lumped in the same category as Hootie and the Blowfish they would collectively commit suicide, but I don't really care. It all felt the same to me at the time. Also, I thought this list up in about 10 minutes so I'm sure I've left some good stuff off, but hey too bad.

15. "Run Around" - Blues Traveler
14. "Self Esteem" - The Offspring
13. "Loser" - Beck
12. "Today" - Smashing Pumpkins
11. "I'll Stick Around" - Foo Fighters
10. "Tomorrow" - Silverchair
9. "Big Empty" - Stone Temple Pilots
8. "Basket Case" - Green Day
7. "Good" - Better than Ezra
6. "Interstate Love Song" - Stone Temple Pilots
5. "Mr. Jones" - Counting Crows
4. "When I Come Around" - Green Day
3. "Ants Marching" - Dave Matthews Band
2. "Let Her Cry" - Hootie and the Blowfish
1. "What's the Frequency Kenneth?" - REM

Honorable Mentions: "Better Man" - Pearl Jam, "1979" - Smashing Pumpkins, "Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm...mmmm" - Crash Test Dummies, anything off Live's Throwing Copper album.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Speaking of...

I just ran across this article on the Drudge Report. Apparently, Bill Clinton thinks that Al Gore will end up running for president before all is said and done.

I read a book by the brilliant political strategist Dick Morris a few years back (Power Plays). In it, he outlines 6 or so "plays" that world leaders throughout history have used to achieve political success. One of them involved owning an issue and standing on principle. He spent an entire chapter explaining that Al Gore lost the 2000 election because he allowed moderates to pull him off of his environmental high-horse. He said back then (2002, I think), that if Fat Albert ever regained ownership of the issue that originally thrust him into the national spotlight, he would emerge from the politcal wilderness. He has done that. Good call, Dick.

Here is how this will play out: Gore will hold out as long as possible, then he "will be forced" to run because no other candidates take the environment seriously enough. Like Mother Nature's Martyr, he will hesitantly throw his hat back into the ring. And, with the support of Hollywood and all the George Clooninites, he will make an interesting run of it. Clinton's negatives are too high, Obama's inexperience will lead to an implosion, Gore will be a contender, and Evan Bayh will hate his life for dropping out so early.

Ted Nugent Makes Sense!?!

Article written for CNN by the one and only Ted Nugent in response to the outcry for more gun control after the VT tragedy. Cat Scratch Fever indeed..

Harry Reid and "Low Carb" Food: The Enemies Amongst Us

First of all, I would like to thank Pat for the invite to join BMBS. It is an honor and a privilege and I will work zealously to advance our common causes.
Now, here is what is gnawing at my brain this week:

1. Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and the new Democratic oligarchy - one that has decided to conduct it's own foreign policy separate from the legitimately elected, constitutionally entitled Bush Administration. As though Squeaker Pelosi's self-appointed diplomatic mission to Syria was not enough (which ended in disaster, by the way), we now have Harry Reid proudly declaring defeat in Iraq.
This should surprise no one. The Democrats gave up on this war before it even began. As it stands now, the troop surge has only been halfway implemented. Let's see what happens and craft a meaningful strategy before we snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
The Left loves to compare Iraq to Vietnam. The only viable comparison between the two conflicts is their defeatist attitude. We can only lose this war if we allow ourselves to do so. By allowing Iraq to become an unstable haven for fundamentalists we would essentially be undermining the sacrfices of 3,000 of our finest. Thanks for speaking for us, Harry.

2. There is a new, revolting spin on the recent Low Carb diet craze. As though Al Gore's Oscar buzz, "carbon footprints", hybrid cars, and Earth Day aren't enough to make me lose my lunch, now my actual lunch might make me lose my lunch. There is a new movement among the green Left to reduce your Carbon "Food"print. That's right. This new "Low Carb" diet is not necessarily low in carbohydrates - it has a low "carbon footprint". The Greenie Weenies now want us to consider the amount of greenhouse gasses emitted by the production and distribution of various foods that we eat.

a) Upside: The new diet is largely centered around reducing transatlantic flights and so forth, which actually promotes domestically produced and distributed foods. Good for farmers and the American food industry.

b) Downside: It is exceptionally gay. And it has serious health implications. Imagine taking a date to Applebee's or some fine American dining establishment like that, and she asks the waitress which meal has the lowest carbon footprint. Not only would you immediately regurgitate your basket of onion peels, but you would quite literally suffocate in the ensuing cloud of Smug that drifts across the table.

That's enough for one day. I Democrat.

PS Harry Reid could learn something:
-To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last - but eat you he will. Ronald Reagan

Welcome Chris Lane to BMBS

Finally a true original of the human race has joined our ranks at Beach Music and Boat Shoes. There have been other attempts in the past to get Chris Lane to join this blog, but none have stuck. When asked about these invites, Mr. Lane responded, "Was it in email? Because I signed in one day to my email and had 275 messages in my inbox. So I just deleted them all without looking." This, friends, is a nice analogy for Mr. Lane's approach to life and life's approach to him.

Usually this is where someone like Pat recites the member's accomplishments at BC and other notable details in the honoree's life, but I can barely recall which classes I took senior year, so I won't be doing that (feel free to try in the comments). What I do know is this: On what was supposed to be his last day at the Publix in Atlanta, Chris called in sick so he could go to a Braves game that night. Problem: Unaware that he was choosing to get blackout drunk at a baseball game, his co-workers had passed around a card to sign and had a cake made. Of course, someone caught him having a good old time on the TV broadcast that night and told everyone else.

Welcome, Chris.

____ is a Cool Guy

I was just over at a certain person's blog that covers a certain school's athletics, and I've gotta say - he's doing a damn fine job of keeping it up to date with good information. As I was reading the most recent post's comments (all "anonymous," of course) I realized that he may have a decently sized amount of alumni checking his site on a regular basis. And that's what it's all about. Keep up the good work, _____.

Also, you Savannah folks should be at Grayson Stadium tonight. Yeah, you were at Thirsty Thursday last night, but tonight actually has relevance to the sport you'll be watching. The opposing pitcher is Jon Lester, who had a great rookie season with the Red Sox last year. Unfortunately he had to be treated for cancer, but he's already making his way back. Need more reason to care? He was one of the guys John Schuerholz was trying to get in exchange for Andruw before the trade deadline last year.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Why This Blog is So Sparse

I know why production has slacked off on this blog:

I am miserable because I will never make more than $30,000 a year, and I never do anything.

Joe is miserable because he works at a bank and doesn't go to a keg party every night like he used to.

TC is miserable because he's in real estate. And he's married.

Pat is miserable because he's in law school and is still Pat Holland.

Stephen is miserable because he's no longer bogged down by school, so he doesn't get to play the martyr card anymore.

Will is miserable because he's 24 and has already gotten all he wants. Now it's just downhill from here.

Michael is miserable because he still takes college football too seriously, and Tech has lost to UGA six years in a row.

Tim is miserable because he's in med school and lives in Augusta.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton: You constantly lead the charge against racism and degradation. You incited the masses and demanded retribution for Don Imus for his admittedly rude and uncalled-for remark. Mr. Imus has subsequently been fired.
Will you now, you champions of civil liberty, swallow your pride and give the Duke lacrosse team their DESERVED apology for the witchhunt you perpetrated against them?

Monday, April 16, 2007


Most of ya'll know I normally don't cover dramatic, sensationalized current events (trials, murders, shootings) on here. I think there are plenty of newspaper and cable news websites that can do a far better job of that than I could ever hope to. Plus I do a piss-poor job of talking about emotional stuff as it is.

I bring today's tragic event up only because 1) it seems heartless to not stop and mention it apart from the inconsequential, day-to-day shenanigans that constitute this blog, and also because 2) it will without doubt negatively affect people's views of the Second Amendment and give rise to countless debates on whether or not the federal government should enact stricter gun laws.

I will certainly reserve the political stuff for a later date, because to discuss it now would seem brash and presumptuous: it is simply too early to talk about what exactly happened and how or why. So I bring this up for now because it demonstrates how, as (former) college students, everything else we squabble over (i.e. final exams, jobs, etc.) can instantly become meaningless when you realize your life and others can be taken so quickly and in the least likely of places.

Alright, I'm done with the emotional grandstanding, soapbox stuff.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Not cutting it.

Apparently, Mr. Nifong has apologized to the Duke lacrosse players he so furiously went after, with no evidence, and tried to send to prison for 50 years, just to make a strong bid for reelection. The players are having a hard time taking this, as would I.
I think the best possible ending to this story would be Nifong getting convicted of criminal wrongful prosecution, getting raped in prison, and having no one believe him.

The State of Music, R&B Edition: 1967 v. 2007

Peaked at #19 in May of '67.

Has held the #1 spot for the last 2 months.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Global Warming Quiz

I am copying this from Cafe Hayek:
Suppose we discovered that the earth was cooling rather than warming due to a natural cycle. Would you encourage people to drive more and use more carbon-based energy as a way of warming the earth?
You don't have to answer, but I'm curious what Al Gore would say.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Run Fred, Run

I am having a severe case of buyer's remorse after endorsing Giuliani for president a while back. Not only did I not know he was going to come flat out last week and say he'd support taxpayer-funded abortions as president, but I also didn't think Fred Thompson would seriously be considering a presidential run.

If Thompson throws his hat in the ring, I'm much more likely to support him than Rudy. Without Thompson, we have without a doubt the worst Republican field since God knows when. McCain called Bush's tax cuts a giveaway to the wealthy and wanted to be John Kerry's running mate in 2004. Romney can't go an election cycle without changing his position on something. And Giuliani constantly denies that unborn children have a right to live.

Thompson strikes me as someone who can successfully and honestly articulate a conservative response to everything the left tries to throw at us. But he needs to step up soon and make a decision before it's too late. Newt needs to do the same.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Answer: April Pop Quiz

Our question was: When the Federal Government is running a budget surplus, how should Congress spend the extra money?

Just to give a short background, budget surpluses are an extreme rarity in American politics. They occur during those exceptional times when increasing tax revenues are coming in so fast that even Congress can’t find new ways to spend them quickly enough. The last time this happened was in the mid to late 90s, when Republicans controlled the House and the Senate and the Democrats controlled the White House. At first, partisan gridlock made it tougher for either branch to binge too much on spending. This was short-lived, however, because by the late 90s Republicans stopped caring and the binge-spending reemerged.

The question itself, like most of the choices, is flawed in that makes a key false assumption: that Congress should spend the money at all. And 3 of the choices are flawed because they assume that Congress would choose to spend the money wisely on either A, B, C.

We saw poll questions like this countless times during the 2000 campaign, when Gore pledged to use the surplus to create a Social Security lockbox, while Bush said it made more sense to give it back to the people by reducing income tax rates, arguing that Congress' relentless appetite for increased spending could only be kept in check by cutting its diet. Below I've critiqued/explained each choice.

Choice A: Use it to invest in education. It's the 21st century and we need to compete with China and India for the math and science jobs of tomorrow. INCORRECT: We spend thousands more per pupil than any other country in the world. The problem with our schools isn’t lack of funds, there’s more than plenty of money to go around. Instead, the reason for public education decline is lack of competition and choice. We'll "compete" (this term is flawed too, because in a positive-sum world of voluntary exchanges where everyone benefits from the resulting increase in the size of the capital stock, countries don't really "compete" with each other) just fine with China and India by keeping our labor markets deregulated and keeping tax rates low.

Choice B: Use it to save Social Security. We need to protect our seniors first and foremost. INCORRECT: The problem with this answer is three-fold: 1) It scares people into thinking Senior citizens are in danger of losing their Social Security checks, which is totally untrue; 2) Congress simply wouldn’t use the money to do this. Instead they’d waste it on pet projects to ensure they get re-elected; and 3) Because, like everything else, Congress constantly mismanages Social Security, it should be privatized so that you yourself can manage it. Why further feed this broken system in the first place?

Choice C: Use it to pay down the interest on the national debt. We should be committed to keeping our fiscal house in order. INCORRECT: This choice is tempting for fiscal conservatives, but again, the problem with this answer is that Congress would never actually use the money to do this. Anyone who honestly thinks 535 egocentric sleazeballs obsessed only with winning re-election would actually use the money to pay down the national debt is living in a dream world.

Choice D: Return it to the the taxpayers. It's not the government's money in the first place; it's the people's money. CORRECT! The only way to ensure the money doesn’t get wasted on broken entitlement programs or extravagant pork projects is to give it back to the people who earned it. Plus, lower tax rates give people more incentives to save, to work, and to invest, thus raising living standards and making America a better to place for business and voluntary exchange to thrive.

Choice E: Give the money to BC. SOMEWHAT CORRECT. We'd have to see if it would go towards the fine arts department or athletic improvements/public school recruits/hiring Urban Meyer. If it's for the latter instead of the former, I'm all for it.

Thanks to those who participated, all 2 of you. Will's answer came in a close second to Stephen's.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

April Pop Quiz

So yea, I just won $100 on Florida, so you know what that means. K-Bob tomorrow. Anyway, I'd like to start a new feature here each month. In reality, this probably will only happen once because I'll forget to do it next time. But hey, enjoy it while you can.

So what I will do is pose a multiple-choice question, usually pertaining to economics, but rather than state the choices in their "true" form as I see them, I instead will present them as their advocates would (you'll see what I mean). Thus, I'm "hiding the ball" a little bit to make it more interesting by offering a few distracting choices that are inherently flawed but still might sound good on their face to some readers.

I'll let our readers offer their own responses, then put up the "correct" answer in a few days. Even if no one responds, I couldn't care less. I will still post and explain why one answer is right and why the other 3 are wrong, because I feel like it.

So anyway, here's our question for the month of April:

When the Federal Government is running a budget surplus, how should Congress spend the extra money?

A) Use it to invest in education. It's the 21st century and we need to compete with China and India for the math and science jobs of tomorrow.

B) Use it to save Social Security. We need to protect our seniors first and foremost.

C) Use it to pay down the interest on the national debt. We should be committed to keeping our fiscal house in order.

D) Return it to the the taxpayers. It's not the government's money in the first place; it's the people's money.

If your answer doesn't conform to any of those 4, feel free to provide your own. Be forewarned, however, that it won't be right.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Opening Day 2007

It's a beautiful day, folks. The Braves open their season today with John Smoltz facing the Phillies at 1:00. With the improved bullpen, potentially great rotation, and solid lineup, the Braves are pretty damn likely to make the playoffs this year. Enjoy.