Can I Make Pat Cry?

If there's one thing our old friend Pat is known for, it's not for his cuddly nature. That frosty, reptilian demeanor hides little warmth or sympathy; this much I'm sure of after twelve years of knowing him. But just like how you see Darth Vader not immediately dismissing Luke's claims of hidden goodness on Endor, Darth Holland offers up small nuggets of human potential every once in a while.

When I saw Pat's post regarding the BC-Camden game, I saw words that I never thought I'd see the man admit himself: "I cried." There was no sarcasm, no cynicism, and no mockery. He was so emotionally moved that his tear ducts activated and produced physical evidence of...feelings. Now, I'm not ready to believe Pat is on the verge of a face turn, but every good villain has more than one dimension.

I now will begin a series of challenges in order to see if I can make the man cry again. It'll be tough, because any video or movie I present to him will have none of the nostalgic weight that gave the BC video its power. I also have to rely entirely on Pat's word, since no one will be there to see if he indeed held back tears.

And I'm starting big. Going for all the marbles right at the start. Rolling only for Yahtzee. Starting with the essay portion of the test first. And if it doesn't work, I may be SOL. I recently watched a documentary that is infamous for breaking people down, and I can attest to this. I put off watching it for over a year, and having seen it now, I must say the intensity of this movie is unparalleled.

The movie is called Dear Zachary, and my first advice to Pat and to anyone else interested in watching would be to not read a single thing about it. No googling and no reading the description. This is what I had always read people say online, and it really does matter, especially for this challenge. The bare minimum I can offer you is that the filmmaker sets out to make a movie about his childhood friend who was murdered, but that's only the set-up in the first 15 minutes. Here is the link to stream it on Netflix. It has a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes if you need some critical backing in order to watch. It's 90 minutes long, so Pat, don't act like you have anything else to do. Report back to us. We want your tears.

Eleven Dollars Wasted

Don't go see the new "Iron Lady" movie in theaters right now. 70% of the film portrays Thatcher in her current state as a helpless 90 year-old struggling with dementia. This would be no different than putting out a film called "The Champ", complete with badass promotional displays of Muhammad Ali in his 1960's prime, only to have it be a 2-hour portrayal of the former boxer's present-day struggle with Parkinson's. Sorry, no time for scenes from the height of his popularity - you know, the ones that people might care about and that actually made the man famous. Not entertaining and in no way pays tribute to the main character's defining triumphs.

And that's probably the whole point. Why pay tribute to one of the greatest conservative leaders of our time? Far better to portray the right-wing pro- (or is it an-?) taganist at her weakest and hopefully cast aspersions about whether such mental deficiencies existed during her time in power.

I'm a huge Reagan fan but I have to say my favorite politician of all time was Thatcher. More so than any 20th century politician, she cut against the political consensus of the time and fought tooth and nail to revolutionize her nation's economy. All four of her successors, split across both parties, have credited her with positively transforming Britain.

A far better account of Thatcher and her reign can be found in Part 4 of the BBC's History of Modern Britain, which came out a few years back:

2000 BC @ Camden County

The greatest BC victory I've ever witnessed. I cried watching this last night. Says a lot about my social life I guess but I don't really give a damn. I would give anything to go back to this night and relive it.

Thanks to Brooks for continuing to post these.

BC vs. Glynn Academy Senior Year

One of the greatest comebacks in school history after being down 29-7 near the end of the 3rd quarter. A few familiar faces in the student section at 1:07:19.

The St. Patrick's Day Longevity Project of 2012

Every year on St. Patrick's Day you can count on a number of things to occur without fail. It's a huge component of what makes the experience such an event. Each writer and reader of BMBS has their own unique routine and their own traditional checklist. For most of us that includes: Chief claiming he's actually, no really, seriously, going to retire next year; trying to measure the benefit of one last drink before getting in the parade versus the inevitable pressure on your bladder; etc.

One shared element we can all set our watch to is my infamous premature evacuation. You know the drill: you see me at Chippewa holding down a spot tighter than SSL's wallet, drinking some universally despised beer in the hopes no one will ask me for one. This goes on until that magic time of around 5:00 where I disappear, never to be seen for the rest of the day.

Why do I always do this?

-Convenience. I value convenience on all things higher than I probably should. The logistics of transportation on St. Patrick's Day make my brain hurt. When I have a clean set up of arrival and departure like I've had, I weigh it higher than any potential late night fun. When I start getting the dry mouth and the sweepies, having a dedicated ride home is hard to turn down. I'm aware of how pathetic that is, and the good news is that it's easy to change.

-I can't hang physically. The running joke in high school and college was Sleepy Ryan, but at this point biology won't even bother to toss me a shot of temporary pity energy anymore. So even if I cancel my usual 5:00 pick up, I would just be a black hole of fun given my current abilities.

I will never have Slic Ric's superhuman stamina, but I'd like to at least prolong the shenanigans into the night hours. If ever the readers of this blog could use their knowledge and experience for good, it is now.

I can't expect you to offer a solution without the details, so here you go:

-From about 6:00am to 10:00 I drink screwdrivers. I think last year it was something like 4 or 5 smaller sized cups, then 2 big cups after. I walk the whole parade, then start drinking from my beer stash around 12. By the time 5:00 rolls around, I've had about 5 beers.

What should I do, panel of experts? Drink water? Take caffeine pills? 5 Hour Energy (never had it)?

Can you mold me into a man?

2 MORE MONTHS!!!

Bibbidy Bop

Madison police arrest man named Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop.

MOTY Winner: Danny Britt

BMBS would like to wish everyone a happy and prosperous 2012.  Congrats to Coach Britt and to Gibson for putting up a good fight.