Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Can I Make Pat Cry?: Returning Soldiers Edition

I asked a lot of our misanthropic friend in my first attempt. Not only is the subject matter and presentation of "Dear Zachary" a rough experience, but it also demanded ninety minutes of his invaluable time. Though his reply could have been constructed just by reading the movie's Wikipedia page, I choose to believe he actually did watch the whole thing. I say that mainly because the last time I talked to him on the phone, he said he doesn't get any channels on his TV and just watches Netflix on his laptop in his warm and inviting and not at all creepy apartment.

Here's an indisputable fact about JPH: he's a Republican who loves America. Though he's always extolled more of the conservative economics of the GOP than any war hawk attitude, I'm sure he's at least kind of a sucker for a good ol' fashioned, rah-rah, G.I. Joe, armed forces lovefest.

I'm putting that to the test today with a three-part compilation of soldiers returning home and doing non-emotionally-charged things such as surprising their kids at school and being immediately recognized and loved on by their dogs. This attempt makes for a more quick and efficient groin kick to Pat's tiny, tiny heart than an hour and a half movie that really puts a strain on his restless leg syndrome. The short length also leaves him more time to put $50 on Southeast Missouri State tonight, and for that maybe he'll be in a more receptive mood.


Snuffy said...

Ryan, there is only one thing that will make Pat cry: a world with no Carey Hilliard's.

Patrick said...

Sorry, still nothing. Try again.

If they did away with Hilliard's, I would just start going to Jackie's. But it would be pretty agonizing the first few months.

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