While working in Savannah for the past three months, I have forgotten about this fascinating creature,... Frat Dude. I pledge myself from here on out to document this animal weekly on BMBS, if time permits. Hopefully, this research will benefit mankind for generations to come.
Four hours after my triumphant return to Athens, this amazing species revealed itself to me after what seemed months of hibernation. You see, Frat Dude has taken a hold on the once noble card game of Texas Holdem'. I saw this development in its infancy last year, but upon my return this phenomena has exploded to epic proportions. Ryan, Pat, Tim, and I live in a condominium complex of about 10 units named Talmadge Close. Apparently, our next door neighbors have developed a hot bed for Frat Dude activity and its card playing. At least three nights a week, especially Tuesdays, and when the moon is full, every last parking space is abused be souped up SUVs from the great states of FL, TN, AL, and the occasional TX. What compounds this situation is the fact that these Frat Dudi are sophomores, and better yet, members of the most dudest frat of all... SAE.
As Pat and I were getting into his car to catch the $2.00 Guinness specials downtown, Frat Dude A walks out with Frat Dude B from next store.
A: "Dude, I'm traaashed" (with cigarette and kegger cup in hand, mesh trucker hat worn backwards, and of course, shaggy hair)
B: "I hear ya buuddy, my last hand was, like, hitting the s*$% tank."
A: "Man f@+#, dude, next semester we're either gonna live in this here crib, or the crib next door. We're gonna rule this place!"
B: "I hear ya Dex, but I don't know" (with a tense drunk pensive expression.)
A: "What are you talkin about Brody? Man, if you want we can get a HOOUUSE. That s*$% will be faat."
Take note, the word crib is used twice in one sentence... and next semester these creatures might rule Talmadge Close.
4 comments:
This is most disturbing news. If another group of those weak-parented, kegbeer helmeted mouth-breathers moves in here, it will complete the seventh circle of Hell and all of God's creation will melt away forever from this world.
As I was walking back from the apartment that is Stephen and Ryan's on this same eve, I too had a little experience of my own. As I was unlocking the door to my house I heard these stupid girls getting out of their Range Rover. I swear I heard the word "like" about twenty-four times as I was opening my door. The girls were trying to look all "classy" and grown up, but we all know they woke up this morning in bed with some random frat dude feeling very ashamed of themselves. So, I decided to take my pot shot and yell "your ugly and no one really likes you, they are just using you." I then proceeded to walk into my apartment feeling much better about myself because of what I had said.
Another thing that bugs me, is the whole "silliness" and "crazyness" factor that surrounds the whole greek thing. Passing by Bourbon Street last night, which was my favorite bar until a few months ago, we saw tons of these same types of kids all dressed up in what their perception of "eighties" clothes is, the girls wearing the big black sunglasses and the guys wearing the aviators (11 o'clock at night, in a bar), because they're trying to look "crazy" or "silly." Anyway, I'll have a whole new post about this phenomena sometime in the near future. Stay tuned.
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