I'm sure everyone has read this before...

but i figure yall might want to read this again.

If your from Atlanta, you'll like this:



ATLANTA, GEORGIA



This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in

Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta,

knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has

ever heard of Atlanta. Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way

streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn

around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.



All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the

phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County,

where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."



Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be

confused with:



Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Corners
Peachtree Lane
New Peachtree
Peachtree Road
Old Peachtree
Peachtree Parkway
West Peachtree
Peachtree Run
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Peachtree Commons



Atlantan's only know their way to work and their way home. If you

ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.



Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there, so

don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.



The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport are about 32

miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a

lunch.



The 8a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm rush hour is

from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon

and lasts through 2am Saturday.



Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt

the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to

the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh

LEE-awn."



And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."



The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately

forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is

paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news

flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores

will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and

beer.



I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, which has a posted speed

limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from

getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."



Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked



"East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The

locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and

the "Outer Loop." If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually

be going southeast.



Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the

interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.



The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger,

unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your

AK-47 has a full clip.



Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.



There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.



There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus

a couple no one has seen before.



If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine

trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to

escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu,



another ill-advised "import," like the carp, starling, English sparrow,



and other "exotic wonders."



It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. "Fixinto" is one word (I'm

fixinto go to the store).



Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it

when you're 2 years old.



"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"



If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from

Atlanta, Georgia and those who just wish they were.



Lordy, I love Jawja.