Definition of Cracker

I found the following post over at EDSBS, which is the best college football blog ever created. I cannot stress this enough. If you don't know, the picture is of South Carolina QB Blake Mitchell.











It is mandatory that as an SEC fan, there will be one redneck ne’er-do-well at qb in your conference each year. He shall think the shotgun is named after a beer drinking technique; he shall list his interests on Facebook as “getting hammered,” and “tracking poonasaurus heh heh heh.” He shall step heartily into throws doomed from the first twitch of the eyeball toward the receiver. He shall vomit in public with great frequency and productivity, shocking even circus freaks with their ability to shoot liquid in gouts from his gullet. He shall, from time to time, drive into stationary objects with his or someone else’s car.

In a greater time, men like this were nicknamed “Snake,” “Red,” “Brett Favre,” or “Redsnake.” Now we just call him cracker-ass crackah Blake Mitchell, a walking Saltine of a man, so crackered out is he, who will be the starter at Georgia on Saturday when South Carolina comes to Athens.