While tailgating at Friday's Braves game, a certain unnamed BC alumnus gathered with his fraternity brothers right across from our spot. This guy, who must be at least 24 by now, plopped down in his camping chair with his balls peeping out and instructed his buddy to play some "classic rock" on the car's stereo.
He was by far the oldest person there, but that did not seem to matter to him. There were some hot girls there who probably just saw their first legal rated R movie in the theaters. Anyways, the crowd really started to grow and through effortless eavesdropping I heard snippets of conversation, including:
"So, you excited about college?...Yeah, that's cool, that's cool."
So the fraternity was rushing these young kids, who had just graduated from various metro-Atlanta schools, such as Parkview and Lassiter. As you can imagine, every single "dude" there had on boat shoes/flip-flops, khaki shorts above the knee, and tucked in polo shirts (3 pink ones). I have a problem with this.
You KNOW that these cultureless metro-Atlanta runts were making decisions in Publix 2 years ago about whether to go with the flexible or "sport" style of LA Looks hair gel. They were excited about the new Linkin Park CD. They brought their slut girlfriend with them when they went to get their eyebrow or ear pierced. They were drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade at Lake Lanier while wearing flower-patterned board shorts. They said "Sweet!" when their parents got them those 24s and the subwoofer.
Then on College Day they visited UGA's campus and had a wake up call. That next day, Mom was happy to take them to JC Penny and get them respectable clothes that her and Daddy were too passive to make them wear as they were growing up. Thanks, baby boomer parents, for your complete lack of backbone.
So now you can find these traditionless brats in "General's" drinking out of mason jars and singing "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" at the top of their lungs. If someone could please give me back my BC sheltered mind so that I can once again not have any knowledge of other kids in my generation.
7 comments:
Don't knock the L.A. Looks. I tend to go with the "sporty" but that's just me.
Those guys are my new role models.
Hey anonymous, do you live off of Exit 248 B or C on "The Connector?" Just wondering, because I here that the 21st Moe's Southwestern Grill is opening up beside the 24th Loco's Deli. "Like, can put some more, like, hot sauce on the side, like, because, like, I can't get enough of the stuff, like, you know?"
Ryan, the best post we've ever had on this blog.
Stephen, I think anonymous was being sarcastic and is on our side.
Will, you're very astoot. I was indeed being sarcastic. Just for the record, I go to school and live in Savannah, Georgia, which is nowhere near "The Connector."
Anonymous and Will, no shit... I was being sarcastic as well. I'm from Savannah aren't I? The land of sarcasm?
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