Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

We had great stuff this week and a tight race at the top. Enjoy the Gems!

Dishonorable Mention:
"My child is a junior at Savannah Arts Academy. She has been flourishing since day one. The teachers and curriculum are stimulating and inspiring. In contrast to the caller's comment, the teachers I've met in the last three years have been very caring. I think it's a great school."
- “My child’s finger-paintings have shown marked improvement. He’s so unique and special. He wears mascara and cuts himself.”

Dishonorable Mention
"Gasoline dealers in Savannah do not deserve our patronage. The price of oil has dropped but the price of gas in Savannah hasn't dropped."
- Gasoline is not crude oil. The price may have gone down per barrel, but maybe it costs more to refine it now. But you go ahead and drive out of town to hurt “big oil.” While you’re at it, don’t come back.

Dishonorable Mention:
"What's with all the condos and motels downtown? When are y'all going to tear something down and build a super Wal-Mart in the historic district?"
- I’m pretty sure this guy’s kidding, but that would set the stage for an epic battle: Wal-Mart vs. the Savannah Historical Society. The Historical Society would put up a good fight, but my money’s on Wal-Mart. Sad but true. Think about it like this: you own a large piece of property in the Historic District. The property is already valuable, but now you’ve got Wal-Mart knocking on your door wanting to buy. Everyone knows Wal-Mart can afford any price you give. Who wouldn’t sell? Sure, people may say that you sold your soul, but you can afford to buy a new one.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I'm happy that drug traffickers are being caught and more need to be apprehended. I have no use for drug dealers because my son is addicted to heroin."
- How is your drug-addict son going to get his fix if you lock up all the drug dealers? That seems pretty selfish if you ask me.

Dishonorable Mention
"The comment about the golf story had nothing to do with class envy and was directed at the newspaper who deemed it more important than the flood by putting it at the top of the front page in a larger type. It was a sports story and belonged on the sports page. Rich people can play their useless sport all they like. Let's just keep news about it where it belongs, on the sports page."
- If that flood had been in Savannah, it would have been on the front page. But it wasn’t in Savannah; it was up in Yankeeville. Don’t rip on golf just because you suck at it.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Food prices look as if they have increased. It looks like the grocery stores are joining gas stations in socking it to us and piling it on."
- These are natural price fluctuations. These things happen. When people call in and make comments like these, I hope and pray that they don’t vote or have children.

Second Runner-up:
"Those slot machines in the convenience stores are cheating people out of their money. There was a fight just last week. Someday, someone could be killed over those machines."
- God willing. Look, if you’re dumb enough to keep feeding money into an unregulated slot machine in a convenience store, you deserve to lose your money.

First Runner-up:
"I am so tired of rude, arrogant and selfish pedestrians deliberately stepping in front of my vehicle when I have the right of way."
- “I have the right of way. Do not dare to impede me or infringe on MY right of way. I have places to go and I don’t think it is too much to ask to be able to drive my automobile to those places without people slowing me down.”
If this person is talking about downtown, then there is nothing to justify his/her existence on this Earth. You’re sitting down in a car with air conditioning. If it’s hot out and I’m walking somewhere downtown, unless it’s Drayton, Whitaker or Bay, I’m going to cross the street when I see a gap. No one should drive downtown during the day anyway. Just walk.

And your Gem of the Week:
"I can't believe Time magazine would have left the president of the U.S. out of its 100 most influential people issue but put Osama Bin Laden in."
- Time Magazine is a total fraud.
“Oh, we’re so progressive and free-thinking that we’re going to put the most evil man on the planet on our magazine. We’re so smart. We think WAY outside the box.”
They do things like this to sell magazines. This is the same magazine that made Adolf Hitler their Man of the Year. And remember last year? They put a mirror on the cover so that everyone could be “Person of the Year.” What a joke. Herbert the Pervert could have picked up that magazine on accident while reaching for the new issue of Teen Vogue. Was he “Person of the Year” too?

Happy Friday, folks!