Saturday, November 08, 2008

New Report: Oil CEO Greed Down By Over 50% In Past Month

I'm happy to report Big Oil CEO's have really started getting nicer, all at the same time, over the last 5 weeks or so. For whatever reason, the oil companies have all gotten together and decided to be half as greedy as they were back in September. It all started at the beginning of October. You could start to see it in each CEOs' eyes: they started getting really feel-good nice and didn't feel like making as much money as before. So prices began to fall dramatically. The average gallon of gas is under $2 in many areas, thanks to less greed.

Right-wing ideologues will no doubt attempt to explain these price changes away by using annoying economics terms like "supply" and "demand." But that's just typical Republican nonsense; we all know what's really going on here. Change is in the air and even the greediest among us are starting to feel they have a social responsibility to offer "fair" prices for gasoline instead of relying on the greed tactics of the Bush years. We shouldn't rest too easy, however, because I'm told that experts are predicting greed levels to rise again in the Spring once the summer driving season picks up.


Eversmart said...

"I am an Oil Man. This is my partner and my son, H.W. Now, being an oil man I speak plainly..."

Patrick said...

A few months ago I wrote on here how I thought There Will Be Blood was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

But then, like American Psycho, I started looking at things in the exact opposite perspective as the filmmakers' want me to, by viewing the antagonist as the good guy.

In other words, I started looking at the "evil" Plainview as the true hero in the story. I then really learned to appreciate the whole movie a lot more, especially when he bashes the preacher guy in the head with bowling pin. I'd been ready for that whiny, anti-capitalist bible beater to die since the beginning.

When you're able to see through the liberal, anti-business B.S. that Hollywood puts out there, you'll quickly realize that Patrick Bateman and Daniel Plainview are just as heroic, if not more, than Batman or Luke Skywalker.