Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Oceans '01

Let's "rewind the tape" and revisit one of the greatest acts of espionage in BC history. The context:

It was late January '01. Bush Part Duex was just sworn in as president, and CDT/LTC Lane ran the tightest "battalion of monkeys" (Owens, p. 463) that BC had ever seen, despite his inability to get his hair cut short enough to meet the demanding specifications of our SAI (until he shaved it). After the "Innecken-Contra Affair" of late 2000, the heat was on our strapping protagonist on a near-hourly basis from senior members of the Cadre.

Enter CDT/CPT Wh*****ge, 1st BN S3, and a hell of a guy. As S3, CDT/CPT Wh*****ge's job primarily consisted of making sure that he gave the office notice to make an announcement when we had PT, thereby giving notice to the Mighty Fightin' Men of B-N-1 to bring their gym clothes. This grueling task had to be repeated upwards of 6 times throughout the academic year. In the chaos of the day-to-day duties of a Battalion S3, the Cap managed to forget to drop off the announcement roughly 3 of those 6 times.

The first two times that the battalion missed PT due to lack of notice given to the men(possibly still a record), our American Heroes had to suffer devastatingly difficult tours of Justice Under God. At the end of the LTC's 8th tour (again, possibly a record), the Cap famously said, "Lieu, I will never be responsible for us having to do this again." Always a man of his word, the Cap was committed to never have the men miss PT again.

Fast forward the tapes to (literally) the next time we were scheduled for PT.

It was a cold January Monday morning. Tensions were high in the well, as our heroes rushed to finish their homework that they had neglected for approximately 3 days. By the end of homeroom, panic set in amongst the leadership of the 2nd Battalion, as they realized that they had made the fatal error that had caused so much suffering for their counterparts across the courtyard.

At lunch, our heroes made light of the fact that they were, apparently, not the only ones who forgot to alert the troops about PT.

Fast forward the tapes again...this time, to the second year of college.

Having retired from the service of our country, and believing that the statute of limitations had passed, The Ol' Cap shared the true story of what happened that fateful January morning:

Shortly after 7 AM, the S3 had that old familiar feeling. Rushing to the training circular in a near panic, he realized that he had, yet again, forgotten to alert the Titans of the Mighty First that they needed to bring their Russell Athletic apparrel to drill. ALAS! No one was around. So he changed the posted training schedule to reflect that the 2nd Battalion had PT that day. And the rest is history.


Snuffy said...

Whatever it takes to get the job done! I remember writing in made-up PT scores before RFI, because so many cadets never completed all the exercises.

Ryan said...

I didn't know it was scientifically possible to tell new stories from our time at BC.

Chris said...

Ryan, that information was for battalion- and brigade level officers only.

Patrick said...

The training schedule was hard to read!

Patrick said...

The above post is by Pat W not Holland, not to confuse anyone