Ted Turner

This video shows Ted pondering the age old question: which side to take in the War on Terror, the United States' or the terrorists'?

Borat visits the Sand Gnats

In anticipation of what is likely to be one of the funniest movies of all time - Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan - here is a clip from Da Ali G Show when he visited Grayson Stadium.

Dream Job

Effective Monday, October 23, 2006, I will assume the role of Director of Admissions at Benedictine Military School. I will be charged with the responsibility of boosting enrollment and getting kids excited about being a Cadet. I am blessed to have this opportunity and look foward to the challenge.

The Colonel Returns

It's official. One of our own has infiltrated the administration at BC. As the new Head of Admissions, fellow BMBS contributor Will Fleming now has the ears of the elite and powerful. Personally, I couldn't think of a better guy for the job (nor a better job for the guy). In conversation after conversation, Fleming has expressed a traditional, no nonsense approach when it comes to how BC should be run and how it should compete with other private schools.

But remember Will: after being anti-establishment for all these years, you're now part of the establishment. Remember that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Burke and Jude will try and coax you with the power of privilege now to try and get you to "see things their way," leading you astray from your principled beliefs. They will let you use the B-wing doors, and they will let you go in the teachers' lounge now. They might even let you leave campus for more than 47 minutes and make it to where you don't even have to sign out with Mrs. Rogers. But please, don't let these newfound entitlements sway you from the job you have set out to do. Don’t get too comfortable with that new front-row parking spot, or with the ability to devour candy bars after lunch while sitting on the plaza’s concrete benches. They still need someone to update the school website at least once every 3 and-a-half years.

Below are some suggestions for how to conduct day-to-day business.

Standard Attire:
- dress shirt, with sleeves unbuttoned and loosely rolled up (tie optional)
- khacki pants
- penny loafers or top-siders
- no socks
- a stopwatch in your side pocket with maroon nylon cord hanging out the side (twirl as necessary)

Standard practices:
- every morning around 10:30 or so, be sure to run down to Enmark (or get a Senior to go down there for you) to get a 40 oz. fountain Diet Coke
- take up dipping (tobacco), and use the 40 oz. styrafoam cup for spit as the day progresses
- when roaming the halls, whistle the theme song of any sitcom from the 1950s
- go out and get yourself a used Ford Ranger, and be sure the radio is always preset to either I-95 or Q105.3
- become overweight

Congratulations, and good luck.

10 Weeks of Hell, Week 5

"I think there's something you need to be prepared for. We're gonna lose, and we're gonna lose huge." - Tom Cruise, A Few Good Men.

Prediction:

#4 Thomson - 41
BC - 7

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

Here’s this week’s dose Vox Gems. Open wide…

Dishonorable Mention
"I hate 'Fabulous Football Friday' on WTOC. I don't know who any of these players are and I don't care. Sounds like it would be a great web cast program rather than taking away time from the news."
- I’m sure that WTOC is not the only channel you get unless, of course, you’re in jail. Watch something else.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Where do watermelons go in the wintertime? John Cougar's Melon Camp."
- This joke sucks.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Where have all the good girls gone? Why is there only half-naked, blaspheming pop tarts portrayed on television? Please re-pave this road with wholesome women."
- I sure do hate it when my Pop Tarts unwrap themselves and start blaspheming on television. Breakfast pastries shouldn’t behave that way.

Third Runner-up
"Can someone tell me where to find bean pies here in Savannah?"
- Shabazz at the corner of Victory Drive and MLK. Come strapped. (That means arm yourself with a weapon, preferably a firearm.)

Second Runner-up:
"Regarding the comments about rude people and obesity, I am unusually thin and face comments almost daily. I've been accused of being on drugs, being anorexic or dying of a disease. How we feel about ourselves should not be based on comments but should come from within."
- I hope you wear heavy shoes because a stiff breeze might blow you away. Ha ha! Seriously though, kick the habit.

First Runner-up:
"Kiteboarders need some kind of certification. It is terribly dangerous for them and for the people below them in the water, not to mention the lifeguards who might be in danger because someone doesn't know what they are doing."
- Kiteboarding is also really gay.

And your Gem of the Week:
"Tybee's Pirate Fest is nothing more than an opportunity to drink and drink more. It has no class and no redeeming value for anybody, and is certainly not beneficial for Tybee Island."
- Who wouldn’t want to go to a party where guests dress up like pirates and get wasted? I just heard about Pirate Fest this year and I want to go. I’ll bet you have no friends. Loosen up, and most importantly: drink.

Happy Friday, everyone. Go Cadets!

Tommy Tuberville

Here are some quotes taken from the ESPN front page. Yeah, nothing new, but I like it when the coaches talk about how ridiculous it is that NCAA football does not have playoffs.

"I've about had it with this playoff deal," Tuberville said after a lengthy, emotional argument for a playoff. "We all understand in our conference how tough it is. In our conference, that's about the only chance we'd have to make it. There is no reason on this earth why we can't have the best four and then play one more," Tuberville said. "That's the legitimate thing to do. We added a BCS game -- for what in the world? -- I understand we're avoiding lawsuits and making money. But let's take care of the players."

"The problem we have is you have 120 universities that are I-A and probably 25 would say they have a legitimate chance each year," he said. "And you have presidents that for some reason look at it more as for the money than having a national championship on the field. They keep coming up with lame excuses about academics. Football players miss fewer classes than anybody. Presidents take the money and go spend it, but they don't worry about the business of making it better," Tuberville said. "They keep coming up with excuses, yet we're playing [the national championship game] Jan. 8. It's hypocritical."

Friday Night Lights

Behold, one of the best series premieres I have ever seen, and yes, I have seen quite a few. I probably watch more television than everyone on this blog combined, and for that reason, I originally was going to pass this one up. There's only so much use you can get out of cable. But then I started to see the commercials with review quotes calling it "fantastic," "amazing," and even "the best pilot I've ever seen." And after watching it, I think I have to agree with these statements.

Unfortunately, I have not seen the movie yet, but I'm learning that it is very similar in style to the show. So if you've seen the movie and liked it, this has to be an automatic. A lot of the actors improvise their lines, and with the way it's shot, it feels like you're watching the real thing. Nothing is phony or forced. If you liked the use of music in the movie, they use the same band here, too, and it's the best use of music in a show or movie that I've ever seen.

If I summarized the plot of the episode you would think it's unoriginal and nothing special. That's not the point, though. It's all in how they put it together with the editing, the direction, the acting, and the music. If the rest of the season maintains the quality of the first episode, it will go down as one of the best series ever on television. You can either watch it on www.nbc.com, or catch the rebroadcast tonight at 8:00.

Milton Friedman on Limited Government

This man nails just about everything I've ever tried to argue about economics/politics in less than 30 minutes. The interview is from the 70s, but this makes it even better because his views were considered so out of the mainstream then, and his message is just as relevant, if not more so, now than it was 30 years ago.

Don't buy Nigerian bulldogs.

Replying to a classified ad on SavannahNow, Mindy Gorman unearthed the latest internet scam involving English bulldogs being shipped to the US from Nigeria. The ad claimed the dogs were free to adopt, but required $500 for shipping. Funds were ordered to be transferred to Lagos, Nigeria via Western Union. Of course, the dogs are never shipped because they don't exist. Ms. Gorman did not follow through with the sale, but another victim lost $900 to this same scam.

It baffles me that people fall for things like this. The article goes on to describe how to keep safe from online auction fraud and how to avoid snake oil salesmen.

http://new.savannahnow.com/node/148535

October Outlook

1. Georgia. For the first time since my freshman year here ('01), Tennessee should be the clear favorite for Saturday night. This is probably a good thing. Since I'm already assuming the "built-in" loss we'll have against Florida, we need the upset this weekend. The last time we played the Vols here at night, Brian Friedenberg got on Sportscenter while hanging from the east endzone goalposts. While that probably won't happen again, Charlie Webber is coming up so things ought to still be interesting. He says he plans on wearing his Klu Klux Klan costume up here so he can offend the 9 black people that live in Athens.

2. BC. Even though the Cadets will be demolished by 4th-ranked Thomson this Friday, they still have a decent shot at making this a winning month. Hephzibah, South Effingham, and Richmond Hill all make for relatively tolerable opponents. As usual, the Homecoming game on the 27th against the Wildcats is required attendance for all members of BMBS nation. While the Herndon Honeymoon may be over, and things haven't gone as pleasantly as seasons have under previous first-year BC coaches (think Walsh in '70, Brackett in '95), this team may still be poised for a small turnaround.

3. Midterm Elections. Gas prices have dropped a considerable amount since August, but they probably won't drop much more. Bush is back in the 40s because of renewed focus on terrorist threats and the cheaper gas, but it's virtually impossible for him to get any higher with Iraq dampening everything. The economy is the best it's been in years, but it's not reported on the front page. If failures in Iraq and emails to 16-year old boys dominate the headlines for the next 5 weeks, which they likely will, we're screwed. At this point the best bet for Republicans may be to cut out the photo immediately above, make copies, and use them as Halloween masks.

Don't put that in your mouth!

As of today, two Chatham County women have died after eating raw oysters. Evidently there is a type of microorganism that can kill you if you don't have a healthy immune system. The report stated that both women had "seriously comprimised" immune systems. The oysters are believed to have come from the Gulf of Mexico.

Here's the link to the story on SavannahNow:

http://new.savannahnow.com/node/146550

10 Weeks of Purgatory, Week 4

The Cadets (0-3) begin their AAA schedule tonight in Augusta, with their first win of the season over Butler High (0-4).

Prediction: BC - 31
Butler - 21

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

This was a ho-hum week for Vox Populi. Last week kind of spoiled us. Here you go, folks. Enjoy.

Notable Mention:
"Who had the nerve to cut Judge Judy's television program in half?"
- This call probably came from a nursing home. I feel bad for old people; there’s no good TV on during the day.

Notable Mention:
"Congratulations, Georgia Bulldogs. You're 4 and 0, just as I expected."
- I will post every submission about the Georgia Bulldogs I see.

Notable Mention:
"Steve Spurrier, would you like some cheese to go with that whine? Go Dawgs."
- I can picture this in my mind. This message was slurred into a cell phone in the Coaches Corner parking lot around 2:30am. Good stuff.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I will be voting against any incumbent on any ballot until every single person in office right now is out of office."
- Sweet.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Another weekday morning, and I'll be late because train cars are blocking President Street again. When is the City Council going to get some backbone and pass an ordinance prohibiting this during rush hour?"
- There’s your first mistake: looking to the government for help. Why not just write the train company yourself? "No way. That would mean I'd have to do stuff."

Third Runner-up:
"After the SPLOST voter turnout, I am more convinced than ever that the people of Chatham County are both ignorant and lazy."
- You could have figured that out just by reading Vox Populi.

Second Runner-up:
"The pond at Montgomery Crossroads and Truman Parkway could be made into a very beautiful site with very little money and a little labor."
- That pond is there for drainage, you dumbass. For the past couple weeks, callers have been complaining that the scenery around the Truman and Chatham Parkways is not very pretty. Here’s an idea for the Vox contributors: instead of looking around at the pretty scenery, watch where you’re going. I’ll bet money that the same people calling in to complain about the scenery are the same assholes switching lanes without looking and going 35 in the left lane.

First Runner-up:
"Someone else had a bad experience at a Savannah hospital. The noise where I stayed was awful. There was no consideration for the patient to recover. The doctor wondered why I wanted to leave and go home. It was too stressful being in the hospital. Please nurses and staff, have a bit of kindness for the patient."
- Listen, you’re not at the fucking Hilton, you’re at a HOSPITAL. It’s not the staff’s job to make you comfortable. Furthermore, I’ll bet this person just went to the hospital for a hangnail or diarrhea or something stupid like that. “It was too stressful being in the hospital.” Shut up.

And your Gem of the Week:
"A kayak is an irresponsible place to drink beer."
- Too true. It’s near impossible to stand up and take a leak.

Happy Friday, everyone.

5000 years of Middle East history in 90 seconds

Interesting link...

Blue Horseshoe Loves Delta Airlines

Full disclosure: Patrick recently bought and now owns 625 shares of Delta Airlines common stock. Any advice Patrick gives should be taken at one's own risk. Patrick has been known to make bad stock picks over the years, so you should take anything he says with a grain of salt. Either way, get ready for another long, boring post.

America is back. Despite a recession, the most disastrous attack on U.S. soil in history, 2 wars, and a tripling of oil prices, the American economy and stock market continues one of the most robust expansions ever. The Dow will probably hit a record high for the first time in 6 years either this week or next.


The Dow nears an all-time high; Delta looks like a buy

Now, I won't delve too deeply into the really technical boring stuff (actually, yes I will), but to be fair the bond market is predicting a recession some time next year. The reason is because the Fed probably kept interest rates too low for too long, precipitating an unsustainable boom in housing. This means these real estate "malinvestments" (investments which originally were thought to be profitable but turned out not to be) have to be liquidated, freeing up capital so it can be channeled to what is truly the most profitable use. The effects of this process of capital reallocation is the fundamental cause of recession. Workers in the overinvested sector have to be laid off, orders drop off, etc. It's a necessary, temporary correction in a cycle caused by the central bank that must be allowed to run its course. The best medicine government can offer during recession is no medicine.

I know none of ya'll give a damn about all the crap I just said, but the bottom line is this: the economy will probably slow somewhat next year, as bad real estate investments are washed out. The severity of this slowdown will depend on just how much of a correction there will have to be. People like TC know 100 times more about the answer to this question than me, but, because it's real estate, I don't think things are going to get that bad. By its very nature, real estate is a very stable sector, and things are more apt to just taper off instead of fall dramatically like during the volatile '99-'00 tech bubble. Plus, gas prices are falling and inflation is in check, so this may help soften the blow.


It's usually a good idea to put in nice, feel-good illustrations to help break up long posts into managable, bite-size pieces.

Anyway, for my money gang, right now I would buy Delta Airlines (symbol DALRQ). I sold every stock I owned today and bought in at $1.45 per share. The company is expected to emerge next spring from bankruptcy, and if gas prices continue to retreat going into the holiday season, and Delta continues to pick up the slack left from smaller carriers like AirTran and JetBlue who have dropped many of their transcontinental routes, I don't see any reason why this stock won't triple by year end. This way you can ride the traditional year-end rally, and if things do turn sour next year, you'll still have a substantially undervalued stock that can only go higher. It's so ridiculously cheap, you can't really get hurt anyway.

I guess my main point is that 5 years after a recession and demoralizing terrorist attacks, free-market capitalism continues to be the best path to prosperity, and it always wins in the end. No amount of terrorist threats from Al-Qaeda, no amount of militant posturing from Iran or Venezuela, and no amount of overburdensome government spending/intervention can stifle its beneficial forces. Here's to Dow 12,000!

News

Only in America does Screech's sex tape get out and the most popular pro athlete attempt suicide on the same day.

BC vs. Butler

I was just trying to get a count of who is staying with me and for what nights this weekend. I think that I promised Ryan and Will the "pull-outs" so everyone else can either sleep in a chair, bring a sleeping bag and I might have a blow up matress but I will have to check. We have this MCG thing from 7-10 at a bar in the Surrey center. There will be free drinks, so I may want to leave the BC game early. I am allowed to bring one guest but anyone else who wants to come will be able to get in because I can get someone from my class to claim you as a guest. Just let me know if any of you want to do that as well, but just remember that will require leaving the game a little early. Post what you want to do in the comments section or call me.

Condi responds to Slick Willie

In response to Pat's YouTube Clinton post below, Condi Rice spoke with the NY Post and rebutted most of what Clinton had to say.

"Hit-Job"

Boy, am I glad I found out how to use Youtube on here.

For years on numerous appearances on tough talk shows like Larry King, 20/20, and 60 Minutes, Bill Clinton would always face a relentless slew of grilling questions like "how's your wife doing?," "how's your charity work going?," "do you miss being President?," and "do you think the country is better or worse since you left office?"

But yesterday's conversation on Fox News Sunday was a little different. And by different, I mean it's the first time I think I've ever seen someone actually interview Clinton. Things got ugly when anchor Chris Wallace dared to ask Clinton whether he'd thought he'd done all he could in his power to get Osama bin Laden. Unforunately, as this clip shows, we're not allowed to go there.

Some may call a question like that a "conservative hit-job" by the right-wing conspiracy's flagship network. I call it journalism.