Here’s this week’s dose Vox Gems. Open wide…
Dishonorable Mention
"I hate 'Fabulous Football Friday' on WTOC. I don't know who any of these players are and I don't care. Sounds like it would be a great web cast program rather than taking away time from the news."
- I’m sure that WTOC is not the only channel you get unless, of course, you’re in jail. Watch something else.
Dishonorable Mention:
"Where do watermelons go in the wintertime? John Cougar's Melon Camp."
- This joke sucks.
Dishonorable Mention:
"Where have all the good girls gone? Why is there only half-naked, blaspheming pop tarts portrayed on television? Please re-pave this road with wholesome women."
- I sure do hate it when my Pop Tarts unwrap themselves and start blaspheming on television. Breakfast pastries shouldn’t behave that way.
Third Runner-up
"Can someone tell me where to find bean pies here in Savannah?"
- Shabazz at the corner of Victory Drive and MLK. Come strapped. (That means arm yourself with a weapon, preferably a firearm.)
Second Runner-up:
"Regarding the comments about rude people and obesity, I am unusually thin and face comments almost daily. I've been accused of being on drugs, being anorexic or dying of a disease. How we feel about ourselves should not be based on comments but should come from within."
- I hope you wear heavy shoes because a stiff breeze might blow you away. Ha ha! Seriously though, kick the habit.
First Runner-up:
"Kiteboarders need some kind of certification. It is terribly dangerous for them and for the people below them in the water, not to mention the lifeguards who might be in danger because someone doesn't know what they are doing."
- Kiteboarding is also really gay.
And your Gem of the Week:
"Tybee's Pirate Fest is nothing more than an opportunity to drink and drink more. It has no class and no redeeming value for anybody, and is certainly not beneficial for Tybee Island."
- Who wouldn’t want to go to a party where guests dress up like pirates and get wasted? I just heard about Pirate Fest this year and I want to go. I’ll bet you have no friends. Loosen up, and most importantly: drink.
Happy Friday, everyone. Go Cadets!
3 comments:
I was at a Mellow Mushroom in Atlanta a couple of weeks ago, and there was a little kid there dressed up as a pirate for his birthday, complete with Pirate ship cake. It was awesome. I wish I had been creative enough to think of that when I was 5.
Boo, we were creative only with the cheese shredder.
Boo, we were creative only with the cheese shredder.
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