Thursday, April 14, 2005

April 15th

I'm too lazy to create another April 15th advisory post, so here's last years with some minor modifications.

Yes my friends, it is true that everyone's 1040s are due to the IRS by the end of this week, April 15th. I suggest filing before the end of Friday, April 14th. You know how government workers are (Like Ryan.) I doubt the s.o.bs will be working this Saturday.

If you haven't done so already, I'm sure your mothers have filed your income tax return to the Federal Government. After she is done forging your name and paying your apartment's rent, thank her dearly. Concerning income levels such as ours, it is a shame to make you mothers perform this petty task. Of course if you want to pay me to file your return, that is a different story.

I just wanted to give a heads up to those men that wait until this last minute with the philosophy that if you do wait until those last 60 seconds to complete the job, than the job will only take 60 seconds to complete. I honor you, Godspeed.

Most of us are college students or have just recently graduated from a post secondary school, so I suggest that you find Form 1099 mailed to you from whomever your school loans originated. There will be an amount listed of the student loan interest paid by you. Make sure to include this as an "above the line" deduction in the 1040. There are no phase outs associated with this expense (Ryan, this is a huge benefit.) If you are still currently in school, list the tuition expenses you've experienced in 2004. If these are greater than grants and scholarships received, than a deduction will be allowed for the difference. (Ryan, A deduction does not lower one's taxes dollar for dollar, it lowers your Taxable Income, which is used to calculate your Tax . Assuming a 30% Tax Rate, a $1 deduction will result in $0.30 reduction in taxes for the year.)

For people like you and myself, this is the best advice I can give. Go to www.irs.gov for any other questions you might have.

4 comments:

Patrick said...

I got a 1040 the first time I took the SAT

Anonymous said...

“This is the accounts department, the number bods. Do not be fooled by their job descriptions, they are absolutely mad, all of ‘em. Especially that one, he’s mental. Not literally of course, that wouldn’t work.”

Being familiar with the economy in Savannah, and its residents' proclivity for only opening their wallets to let a moth free, you might rethink that "thousands of dollars" quote in the early part of your riveting treatise.

The rest of it only confirms why all of you accountants get laid so much.

tim said...

Who's this queer?

Anonymous said...

wow, whip-smart response, jim

I guess if it ain't on the label of a beer bottle, or the collar tag of a Polo shirt, it can't be understood...but, don't worry, man, you just keep writing those under appreciated anecdotes about folk medicine class, and your apartment complex...Woohoo, yeah...nobody here will tell you what an unoriginal, humorless hump you are