Greek Socialism Returns

According to the Red and Black, a handful of students met last night at the request of President Adams to discuss the "party culture" at the school and what to do about it. (First of all, I've been up here for 4 and a half years. I wasn't aware there was a problem, so I'm not sure why anything has to be done about anything, but apparently that decision has already been made for me.) Anyway, the forum consisted of about 30 students, mostly student group representatives and leaders (AKA, losers), where apparently a wide range of topics and "solutions" were discussed concerning this "problem", ranging from providing better communication between alcohol awareness groups and fraternities and sororities, to providing more funds for awareness education across the board. I could spend countless paragraphs on just how fruitless these efforts would be, but there was one quote by the president of the Panhellenic Council that really set me off:

This is beyond education. We need to fund alternatives to going downtown.

When I read this sentence it was like hearing fingernails screeching down a chalkboard.

Why more public funding? Everything has costs, and there's no free lunch, so why take more of people's tuition and put it towards something that obviously isn't in demand? The alternatives are already there. Bowling alleys, movie theaters, putt-putt, concerts, all provided thanks to the free market. What other alternatives do you want?

The reason why downtown Athens has so many bars is because people demand them. College kids are willing and able to go to them and drink because that's what college kids do. I, for example, regularly "fund" Bourbon Street and Allgood, whereas Walker Persons the Third may decide to fund Beauregard's or Gus's, and we're both happy at the end of the night. In addition, Blake the Baptist, who doesn't drink, may decide to fund Coldstone Creamery instead. We all get what we want.

But now Miss Panhellenic wants to take me, Walker, and Blake's money and put it toward something that none of us need or want, all in the name of her ardent crusade of fighting alcohol abuse, which will fail miserably anyway because it's completely out of touch with reality. Kids are going to drink. There will always be irresponsible toolbags who will take it too far. That's not my problem, nor is it my fault. Please stop trying to throw more of our dollars at problems that don't exist. The money will be much more efficiently spent when it's in our own hands anyway. Finally, stop knee-jerkingly turning to government, the most inefficient thing ever created, to plan, create, build, and fulfill your utopian dream where everyone drinks Sprite and plays free pinball at the Tate Center on Friday nights.