"Top Five Personalities you will see on St. Patrick's Day"

1. Chris Connolly- You can not have the Sinn Fein, or the parade for that matter, without this masterpiece of a legend. With an endless array of one-liners second to none (the topic was covered in a previous post) only Chris can walk the entire parade with a plastic cup full of Jim Beam, and spike the cup on the asphalt at the foot of the grandstand, as if he scored the winning touchdown for the Super Bowl.

2. Kevin Hagan- 250 lbs of pure smiles and sweat bearing down Abercorn. Sure, it's a comfortable 65 degrees at 11:23 a.m. on March 17th, but Kevin will make you think it's 105. All the girls love him, all the guys admire him.

3. Jimmy Ray- "I'm not a bad ass, but I can be." The nicest and funniest guy you'll ever meet. Never been married, rules the KofC. Anyone who knows anything befriends this giant of a man. Sits on the visitor's side of BC football games alone, just so he can watch the game in peace. For the past decade or so, Jimmy has been commentating with the local news stations during the parade. You'll hear comments like... "That's my cousin walking bye!" And my favorite, "That was one helluva-ball-playa-fo-Benedicten." After the parade, you'll see Jimmy at the KofC bar, cracking jokes about the Marine Corps. At two o'clock the same night, you'll see him with two ladies on his arms... wearing a tuxedo.

4. T.P.- Thomas Powers, Pat's Uncle. A jack of all tricks. The red laser light pen, the $5 on a string (An increase from $1 because of inflation.), fake teeth and googly eyes. The entire Clan Na Erin breakfast ridicules the happiest man in America each St. Patrick's Day morning. Why? Because they're jealous.

5. Rick Schwartz- Drunk as hell, working the route with the Parade Committee with his white coat, green pants, and a gigantic cup full of Makers and Coke. No one can out drink him this day. He tends to attract Marines into a brawl at McDonough's around midnight of St. Patrick's Day.