Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

Dishonorable Mention:
"If we dug a hole straight through the earth from Savannah, where would we come out?"
- An ocean, probably.

Dishonorable Mention:
"If you think a $2 billion fence will keep the illegal aliens out, you might be a redneck."
- These jokes stopped being funny ten years ago.

REALLY Dishonorable Mention:
"I love reading Vox Populi. It is the first thing I read in the paper every morning. Many of the comments are full of wisdom, and many are quite witty."
- It's hard to decipher sarcasm in print, so I'll have to assume this contributor is serious.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Who was Georgia Tech playing when they made history by scoring 220-0?" (Editor's note: According to the National Football Foundation and College Hall of Fame Inc., that was the game against Cumberland University on Oct. 15, 1916.)
- Give 'em a break; 1916 was a rebuilding year for the Cumberland Bulldogs.

Dishonorable Mention
"Elections are held in November because this is the best time to pick out a turkey."
- I hate you.

Third Runner-up:
"Coach's Corner need to take that red, white and black Georgia flag and paint it with Gator colors. Go Gators."
- First, we're in Georgia. If a Coaches Corner opens up in Florida, you can hang up Florida stuff. Second, you can't paint a flag. It would get all stiff when the paint dried. That wouldn't look good.

Second Runner-up:
"Judges, please do something about traffic court and the extremely long wait times. Our citizens deserve better service."
- The wait is so long because assholes like you go in and argue every little charge. Just pay the fine and get out of there.

First Runner-up:
"I would like to see a full account printed in the paper stating where funds go that are raised by the United Way of the Coastal Empire."
- "I want this information and I want it now. I want it delivered to me. I want to know where every cent is going."
Check their annual report, you lazy prick.

And your Gem of the Week:
"Shame on whoever kept going after hitting the kitten on Hover Creek Road. She died in my arms."
- Maybe the person who hit it is allergic to cats.

Happy Friday, folks.