The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week

No, "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week" is not the fact that Saddam was hanged. His hanging was a just and merciful measure for all the past, and possibly future victims of this most horrible person.

What is so Ridiculous is the liberal media which bemoans the execution of Saddam. Why do they grieve? I have no idea, nor will I ever. My only guess is that libs become upset at whatever good Bush achieves... no matter if it's a ban on partial birth abortion (which should've been a ban on ALL abortions), lower taxes (which created more benefits than a higher minimum wage or more health care combined), or the strengthening of America's anti-terror defenses.

If you oppose the invasion of Iraq on religious grounds, you need to become Catholic (the religion of reason.) Common sense gives a place for justified war and executions. Mass murderers always deserve the short end of the stick. Why? If not executed, the potential for future victims increases.

If you oppose the invasion of Iraq for political reasons (i.e. since I am liberal, I will disagree with whatever Bush does) think of the invasion in this sense.
Remember Al Capone? He was a dirty rotten thief who killed hundreds of people and broke thousands of laws. Everyone knew Al should be put in jail for his actions... but no hard evidence could connect him to the physical crimes committed. So, the only way to nail Al was through a technicality. He was found guilty of tax evasion. Boom, Al spent the rest of his life in jail. Back then, political correctness was unheard of. Everyone knew Al deserved his sentence, and no one complained.

Saddam's Iraq was invaded on a technicality; WMDs. A viable pretense for wiping out a genocidal maniac. He had 14 chances to prove there were no WMDs in Iraq (which new inside sources say Saddam moved the weapons to Syria before our invasion.) After 14 tries, the USMC had to prove Iraq was WMD free.

Using common sense, I still support the initial invasion of Iraq and the subsequent hanging of Saddam. Both were good events.

Funny how liberals invoke "humanity" and "compassion" as arguments against the invasion of Iraq and execution of Saddam, yet support the killing of innocent children in the name of "privacy."

Liberals must have "Uncommon Sense."

Vox Populi: Gem of the Year

Wow, what a year it’s been for the Vox Gems. We’ve seen this fledgling little column grow into an almost weekly staple here at BMBS. I’m sure there will be some debate, but for the Gem of the Year, I’ve gone through the weekly Gems winners, picked the best, and then responded to my original responses. I’ve spent a lot more time than I should have on this, but here is your Gem of the Year Court:

Third Runner-up:
"I called the Chatham non-emergency police number to report shootings on my block and was asked, 'What do you want us to do? There are shootings everywhere.'"
- If you called the non-emergency line to report a shooting, then this probably wasn’t the first shooting in your ’hood. It probably won’t be the last either. Stay inside or move.
* This is Third Runner-up material; nothing too special, but still funny.

Second Runner-up:
"We went to the Sand Gnats game and the heat in the stadium was unbearable. Why can't they purchase a few industrial fans with the proceeds from the ridiculously overpriced concessions?"
- Wow. You must be from the north. You’re in an outdoor stadium, in Savannah, IN AUGUST. If you don’t like hot weather, stay home. And overpriced concessions? It’s a minor league ball park you cheap bastard. Spend a couple extra bucks. Consider it a complaint tax, yankee.
* This is a classic from the first edition of the Vox Gems. Nothing goes against our values here at BMBS more than a displaced yankee complaining about Savannah. I hope this guy moved back to wherever he came from.

First Runner-up:
"Whenever you get in a real bind, just ask yourself: 'What would Oprah do?'"
- Oprah is never in a “real bind.” She’s one of the richest women in the world and she can buy her way out of anything. I hope she gets genital warts. That would be a real bind for Oprah.
* I just really don’t like Oprah. I still hope she gets genital warts.

And now, your Gem of the Year…

“Nobody don’t care nothing about Jody Chapin’s Hair. I don’t even watch the news.”

- Simply stunning. My grammar checker went nuts with this one. This came out on Tuesday and I immediately knew I had a winner. Just look at it. Read it again. With the blatant ignorance and poor grammar, this is not just any gem; this is a diamond. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the first nominee for Gem of the Year.
* The Gem of the Year was a one-horse race the moment I read this submission. I’d like to extend a personal and sincere thanks to this person. It is blatant, crass ignorance like this that keeps me up to my waist in Vox Gems fodder. Thank you, citizen, and congratulations; you've won the Gem of the Year.

Happy Friday, folks, and a Happy New Year.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

'Twas a Merry Christmas, indeed. Santa brought me my first pair of boat shoes since I was about eight years old. Behold, the Sperry Authentic Original boat shoe. It features the same 360 degree lacing and non-slip outsole that have made Sperry the Cadillac of nautical footwear. I went with the classic brown with a white sole like the one pictured above. I've worn them once and wondered how I've lived this long without them. I give 'em maybe three more wears until they start to stink.

An Addition to the Family.

Men's Largo 3-Eye
Caribbean cool with breathable fabrics, perfect for a man with ease and style.

After scrupulous shopping during the post Christmas sales, I finally found my 2007 replacement boat shoes. I've decided to go a little casual yet refined. Although these are a little nontraditional, you can't go wrong with a pair of suede Sperry.

Description:

• Corner Stitched "Euro-Comfort" Construction for Ultimate Comfort and Flexibility
• Combined with Vulcanized Construction for a Secure Bond Between Upper and Outsole
• Padded Tongue and Collar for Added Comfort Around the Foot
• Full Length, Removable Footbed for All-Day Under-Foot Comfort
• 360° Lacing System™ with Rust Proof Eyelets for a Secure Fit
• Non-Marking Rubber Outsole with Wave-Siping™ for Ultimate Dry / Wet Traction

Man of the Year Poll

Ok. Either we have more readers than I thought, or people are abusing the voting process and casting more than one ballot. This is not American Idol. We are sticking to the one man, one vote principle here. Pat is running the poll and has figured out a way to accurately count and disallow multiple votes.

Cheaters never prosper, punk.

Also, next year, we need a new poll. Not because of the multiple vote issue, but because this Bravenet shit is causing pop-ups.

BC Letter Jacket Party Date

Alright, since we have too many jerks trying to be rednecks by attending a monster truck rally, let's have the party on Saturday the 27th of January. I don't want to have the party any later because of busy season.

Do we all concur? Let me know. If you're too cool to respond, than I'll become too cool to host the party.

Free to Choose

In 1980, PBS ran a series called "Free to Choose," a 10-part series by Milton Friedman on the benefits of free-market capitalism versus the evils of the burdensome government inteference that was strangling the American economy at that time. The program did a lot in bringing ideas (previously considered too intellectual, complex, or boring) in a simple, easy-to-grasp format to mainstream Americans, who would later turn out in droves to elect Ronald Reagan to the White House later that year.

Anyway, thanks to Google Video, you can now view all 10 parts of Free to Choose with the click of your mouse. The shows are just as inspiring now as 25 years ago, especially in the wake of the recent Democratic takeover.

But for those of us who are pressed for time and don't wish to watch all 10 episodes, I recommend at least watching the first part: "The Power of the Market," which I have posted above. Friedman traces the prosperous development of the United States and visits Hong Kong. Only 20-30 minutes long (followed by 30 minutes of debate at the University of Chicago, which isn't really relevant), it pretty much encapsulates the gist of the series, and it prevents people like Ryan from using their "I'm not smart or interested enough" excuse because it presents the ideas in a simple and concise format.

The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week.

Coach Bill Curley.

Vox Gems: Christmas Edition

‘Tis the season for more Vox Gems:

Honorable Mention:
"To the person counting how many drinks someone has in a bar, get a life."
- Counting your drinks is lame.

Honorable Mention:
"The Empty Stocking Fund needs sadder stories. Poor decisions about marriage, kids, and education don't really make me want to give more."
- Congratulations are in order for this contributor for making me laugh at something so inappropriate.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Downtown merchants need to cut out their snooty attitudes. This is not Beverly Hills. Remember, the meek shall inherit the earth."
- Stop quoting Bible verses, cracker.

Third Runner-up:
"The next time you light up a joint or do a line of coke, remember you are bankrolling violent crime in the city."
- But don’t let anyone tell you that you’re funding terrorism. Those guys sell heroin.

Second Runner-up:
"We need to open up to the terrorists and talk to them? I don't know anybody who said this about Hitler. Did Lincoln say, 'Get me Robert E. Lee so we can talk,' or did Sherman march through Atlanta?"
- What?

First Runner-up:
"Savannah cabs are disgusting. It doesn't matter how dirty, smelly or old the vehicle is, the windows don't have to work and the shocks can be broken, but it can be a cab in this town."
- Wait, cabs are gross? You mean that getting into the back seat of a strange car that no less than a thousand different people have coughed or farted in isn’t hygienic? No way.

And Your Gem of the Week:
"Attention Court TV, if Savannah could survive Sherman's fiery march, it will certainly survive the Ross trial."
- Yeah, and if California can survive the OJ trial, then none of those earthquakes can make it break away from the rest of the continent. I like to make irrational comparisons too.

Merry Christmas, folks. Happy Friday.

Too Slow, Hippies.

Just 30 minutes after the Savannah City Council voted to allow real estate developer Richard Guerard to demolish the nearly 80 year old gas station on Drayton, the structure was leveled. Guerard had a crew standing by to tear down the building as soon as the permit was signed and before realtor Dicky Mopper and developer Michael Brown could file an injunction to halt the demolition.

You can read the full article on SavannahNow.com. It goes on to describe the debate that took place at the City Council meeting. Interesting stuff. Alderman Clifton Jones called out the hippies for not doing anything about this building sooner:

"If the preservationists were so serious about saving this property, perhaps they should have been the ones to buy this property."

You tell 'em, Cliff.

B.C. Letter Jacket Party

After consulting with the master mind of this party, Nick Sabogal, we have made an accord. The party will be held on January 13th, the Saturday before Martin Luther King Day.

In the past couple of days, fellow Cadets have been asking me when the party will be held. There is alot of enthusiasm for this hoe down. Around this time of year, everyone wants to have a party... making our scheduling tougher. MLK Day weekend seems like the best time for the party. It should still be cold, and who else is having a BC letter jacket party that weekend?

So, dust of that bad boy, have your momma stitch the last patch on... its time to party. Spread the word far and wide. Shun those who think the idea is stupid.

The party will be BYOB, and BYOBCLJ (bring your own B.C. letter jacket.) Entry depends on you wearing the jacket. Oysters will be provided. No outsiders allowed. Former St. Vincent's girls are encouraged to wear their old uniforms.

Stipulation: If you for some reason you did not earn a BC letter jacket, tough titty. You may not attend.

The Bottom Line: More Savannah Bureaucracy

Behold, the old gas station at the corner of Drayton and Charlton. Yesterday, the city's Historic Review Board (communists) doomed this structure to sit unimproved for a while longer, possibly until it falls down. The Board denied developer Richard Guerard permission to construct a 20 unit residential building that would have saved and improved the current structure, which is four walls and the canopy you see on the front. Their reason was that the design did not integrate into the surrounding styles. I guess a dilapidated gas station fits into the scenery a little better. I wasn't the least bit surprised to read that last year, the Historic Review Board blocked another developer from tearing the structure down to make way for new construction.

Bottom line, the building is an eyesore. It is on the National Register of Historic Places, but it's a dump. It's four walls, a canopy, and a fence. The Historic Review Board needs to come off it and let someone do something with this property.

You can read the full story by Scott Larson here on SavannahNow.com.

Got Any Gum?

I don't think it's any real secret that the most underrated cast member in SNL history was Norm MacDonald.

Voting Underway

You may now cast your votes for the BMBS Man of the Year Award. Because I'm new to this whole polling thing, I'm not sure if it recognizes people by their IP address and prevents them from voting more than once. If unlimited voting is allowed, we ask that you please show respect by not abusing the process.

As Joe said, voting will continue until New Year's Day, when the winner will be announced.

Will's Nomination: Tom Powers

Nobody embodies the BMBS spirit more than Tom "TP" Powers. TP is a 1976 graduate of Benedictine and one of the original 35 members of the Clan na Erin. His love for BC, Tybee Island and all things Irish cannot be ignored. He keeps his fingers on Savannah's pulse and always has the inside scoop on the city's gossip.

A Savannah nightlife icon, TP can be found, with styrafoam cup in hand, at anyone of the following BMBS-endorsed bars:
Doc's
Kevin Barry's
Pinkie Matser's

Finally, TP is a strong family man. He is uncle to BMBS founder, Patrick Holland, but in reality, TP is an uncle to us all. I submit to you my nomination for BMBS Man of the Year, Thomas E. Powers III.

Joe's Nomination: Mr. Christopher A. Lane

I would like to take this opportunity to formally nominate Mr. Christopher A. Lane for BMBS Man of the Year. In the ten years that I’ve had the privilege of knowing Mr. Lane, he has exemplified to the fullest what it means to be a Cadet, a Savannahian, and an American.

Between a full time college schedule, sixty hour work-weeks and twice-daily trips to the gym, Chris still finds time to get inappropriately drunk at any opportunity. I would be remiss if I did not mention that this picture was taken between 6:00am and 7:00am at Shoney’s where Chris devoured no less than eight plates at the breakfast buffet after a hard night of binge drinking.

Here is a short list of traits that I believe qualify Chris for this honor:
- Former Cadet Lieutenant Colonel (Would’ve made Cadet Colonel if Will wasn’t such a kiss-ass)
- Does not listen to rap music
- Sired an entire little league baseball team
- Picked a fight at Dingus on Halloween with a guy dressed as Osama Bin Laden
- Drinks scotch and likes it
- Missed a friend’s wedding because he was drunk at Hooters
- Has totaled or brought about the demise of five cars
- Once ate the Bible while waterskiing

The list goes on, but the point is that Chris Lane is more than qualified and deserving of this award. Cast your vote for Mr. Christopher A. Lane: BMBS Man of the Year.

Rick Schwarz: Man of the Year

Former Cadet Colonel. Hardcore Georgia fan. Saludatorian. A fraternity brother's worst nightmare. Firehouse fanatic. The king of power hour. Because this was his last football season as a student at Georgia, I feel now is the right time to award BMBS Man of the Year to Rick Schwarz.

During the Fall, you can find Rick at Memorial Stadium on Friday nights and at Sanford Stadium on Saturday afternoons. In the Summer, you can find him stumbling down Butler Avenue on Tybee after getting kicked out of Bennie's three times in one night (by Bennie).

All of this is Irish Hurricane material at its core. Schwarz embodies the essence of our ideals. He's never touched a drug outside of alcohol (and trust me, that's enough). He is a take-it-or-leave-it type of guy. He doesn't try to change his tune to please or appease girls, and he takes a no holds barred approach when dealing with frat guys, especially after about 10:23 pm. He bucks the trend of most kids from Savannah who try and act all "laid back" once they get to college. Instead, he brings the outspoken, caustic bitterness of Seawright Drive to Bourbon Street every Thursday night, and when you wake up on Friday mornings and see you had 26 missed calls, you might be first dissappointed that it wasn't from girls, but you can still take comfort in knowing it was one of the most die-hard defenders of BC, Georgia, and America the world has ever known.

So friends, next week's vote is a no-brainer. When you cast your ballot for who is worthy of the honorable title of BMBS Man of the Year, go with your gut. Go with Rick Schwarz.

Ryan's Man of the Year

The Burger King

On the surface, my nomination seems silly, perhaps even a waste. The Burger King is not, in fact, a real person, so why would I make a "goofy" choice when I could pick someone like John Smoltz or Skip Caray? Well, the people who get the King (not the people who say, "Ugh, it's just creepy. It's not funny, just stupid.") appreciate when he pops up on TV in between unfunny, unoriginal commercials. The folks at Burger King have stuck with him since they first used him to introduce that "controversial" breakfast sandwich they had (or still have).

But the King represents so much more. For most of my life, Burger King has been, by far, the last fast food burger place I'd go to, and I imagine the same goes for many people. It wasn't because I really disliked their food, it just wasn't the popular choice. Things have changed, my friends. The BK Stacker is my favorite burger right now: two patties, cheese, bacon, and a "special sauce." It's pretty great that I don't have to ask them to leave off the vegetables. It's just a damn good burger, and the fries are underrated, too.

The King also is a testament to the enormous potential that exists between creative marketing efforts and the embracing of America's business oppurtunity. You don't have to try to make me feel like a better person, McDonald's, by patting me on the head for eating one of your forced salads. No need to talk in an NFL voice, Taco Bell, to sell me a steak enchilada. No, you take a giant, smiling mask on a tiny, robed body, place him in weird situations, and you tell me to have it my way. Burger King has really reached new highs with these new Xbox games. Shameless product placement in a video game package? Exactly. And who is going to buy these games? People that get it. People that like a little fun in their capitalism. This company is doing all the right things to make money, and the customers love it.

Beach Music and Boat Shoes Man of the Year - The Burger King. For inventive humor, good American food, and the celebration of capitalism.

The Buzz Over Obama

The mainstream media are abuzz over Barack Obama and his presidential ambitions. He's young, energetic, "intelligent," telegenic, bi-racial, smiles a lot, and he speaks really well (i.e., he employs centrist, ambivalent language to cloak an otherwise left-wing voting record). All the stuff that CNN, John Stewart, the British, and other Clintonistas just go ga-ga for.

One small problem though: he's still liberal. He voted against extension of Bush's tax rate reductions, against free trade with Central America, and against a ban on partial-birth abortions. He supports even further expansion of the welfare state.

So I wish someone could please explain to me what's so "cool" about not supporting free trade? What's hip about being a protectionist labor union supporter? Just what is so totally awesomely rad about supporting partial-birth abortion? What's so groovy about using taxpayer dollars to create and destroy embryos? What's so bodacious about defending the government monopoly that is the public school system?

Ronald Reagan was nearly 70 years old when he was elected president, and his ideas were 70 times more youthful and energetic than Barack Obama's could ever hope to be. Ideas, not image, should matter. The fundamental, God-given rights to life, liberty, and property, coupled with the spread of capitalism, the most revolutionary, dynamic force that has expanded wealth and freedom to millions in just over the past decade alone, must not be stifled by false notions that stagnant statism is somehow "trendy" because some media darling says it is.

BMBS Man of the Year

As 2006 draws to a close, I believe it is our duty to elect one man this year and each year following who truly exemplifies the ideals we hold so dear. Here's how this will work:

Each BMBS contributor will nominate one (1) man who he believes best represents our values. You can nominate any living man except yourself or another BMBS contributor. Your nominations must be posted to BMBS and include a picture, bio, and the reason for his nomination. Pat will put up a poll and voting will begin Monday, December 18th. Sorry to give you a deadline, Pat, but this shouldn't be too hard. There will be two weeks of voting by both contributors and readers, and the winner of the BMBS Man of the Year: 2006 will be declared on New Years Day. We'll also look into getting a plaque to send to the winner.

Nominations must be in by this Friday, December 15th.

The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week

In imitation of the brilliance that is Joe Wood, I'll ill be attempting to write a weekly series as well. I most likely will not come through every week, so feel free to post a ridiculous item on my behalf at any time.

Also, the idea of "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Week" is based on Bill O'Reilly's "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day." As Ryan can tell you, Stephen Leonard is not original and has little, if any, creativity. Here we go....

Why Mommy is a Democrat

This ridiculous item caught my eye as I was surfing conservative blogs the other day. At first glance, I was positive that this children's book was some ingenious conservative joke. But on the contrary, the book is genuine. I spent a full hour with my jaw dropped, checking out the whole website. Be sure to check out the three sample pages. Simply amazing.

Why is this book ridiculous? Because the author fails to address the proven failure of every liberal ideal.

If someone wants to buy a Christmas present for me, I'd love to have this. God knows I won't give money to this wacko.

P.S. Be sure to read the testimonials. Notice how a writer for The Daily Show is a contributor.

Blog Update

I've just updated the blog to "beta" version (whatever that means), which is supposed to be easier, faster, and better overall. But I also think this means ya'll each may have to switch over as well by signing in with your Google account name (if you don't already have one, it's free to sign up) the next time you post. This is why I'm listed as the only contributor right now.

BC'S HEARTBREAK

There are seldom times in human history where all of mankind stops what it is doing to take notice of some extraordinary, momentous event that shocks the world. Where time stands still and the world holds its breath in anticipation of an ecstatic burst of exhiliration. Examples of this include the Beatles' first appearance on Ed Sullivan in 1964, the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, and finally, halftime at the BC-Lowndes playoff game in 1996.

The Cadets had dominated Lowndes 13-0 going into the locker room and looked like they would have little trouble sealing a trip to the Georgia Dome. It didn't happen: 4 fumbles, 2 interceptions, and a missed extra point prevented that. But it brought a diverse city together to rally around a common cause like none other since (except maybe for Save Our Sandfly). Here's to the 11-2 1996 Benedictine Cadets.

GAMEDAY

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

I took last week off mainly for a lack of material, but I’m back today with your Gems of the Week:

Dishonorable Mention:
"Our local hospitals need to be unionized. Why would anyone want to be a patient in a hospital that doesn't treat their employees fairly?"
- Ok, if that’s a route you’re willing to take, get ready for more expensive, repeat MORE EXPENSIVE, health care and worse service. That’s what unions do.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Please put a traffic cop in Georgetown between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m."
- Why? It’s not like anyone is speeding.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Thank you to the kind lady who paid for my purchase at the Piggly Wiggly on Victory Drive on Thanksgiving Day. You made my day."
- I keep seeing submissions like this. I can’t shake the feeling that more people are going shopping with no money, hoping for a handout and in order to keep these people from holding up the line, someone behind them ends up paying. I’m not falling for it, deadbeat. If money's tight, go through the proper channels for help. Don't prey on the kindness of unsuspecting strangers.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I also had trouble getting through to vote on "Dancing with the Stars." I used three different cell phones and all said I had reached my limit of calls. We need a recount."
- Give it up, Slater lost.

Third Runner-up:
"Near-riots, beatings and muggings for the PlayStation 3? Are marketers taunting the ignorance of the public by limiting production? If so, they should be held criminally liable."
- There are some good words in this one. I especially like “taunting the ignorance of the public.” No one is purposely limiting production to drive up demand. It doesn’t work that way. Also, “criminally liable?” That doesn’t work either. What would be the charge? This is just another great example of someone who has picked up a few buzz words and immediately declared himself an expert. You’re not fooling anyone.

Second Runner-up:
"Chili's has the best barbecue sauce."
- You must be from the north. Try Johnny Harris or Carey Hilliards; those are far better than any national chain. I’d tell you go try Walls for great barbecue, but you’d never find it because it’s not on Abercorn. On second thought, I’d tell you to just go to Sonny’s or something. You don’t deserve Walls. Yankee.

First Runner-up
"The concert hall at Armstrong Atlantic State University should have been full on Tuesday, Nov. 28. The Savannah Wind Ensemble gave a stellar performance of symphonic music. Where were you, Savannah?"
- People who go to things like wind ensembles, ballet shows and foreign movies go to those things because they want to come off as cultured. They really don’t like going, but they do so to keep up the façade to their friends that they are sophisticated. No one wants to sit and listen to flutes and horns for six hours, I don’t care who you are. (By the way MacKenzie, The Queen is a British film. That means it's foreign.)

And your Gem of the Week:
"What happened to Chip, the V.P. of O.C. Welch? We don't see him on television anymore."
- Allegedly, Chip bit Stephen about five or six years ago. Stephen has been aching to get back at Chip, so I guess he’s hiding.

Happy Friday, folks.

BMBS Remembers...

Gannam Day

I feel as BMBS's S-1, I should copy and paste whatever Patrick has typed into Wikipedia about Staff Sergeant Gannam:

George K. Gannam, a 1938 Benedictine graduate, was killed at Pearl Harbor and was the first Savannahian to die during World War II. The school holds a military review and formal ceremony on or around Pearl Harbor Day (Dec. 7) each year to commemorate Staff Sergeant Gannam. The American Legion Post 184, named in his honor, presents the Gannam Award to the most oustanding sophomore cadet and the God and Country Award to an outstanding senior cadet. The school also presents the Gannam family an American flag which, in turn, the Gannam family gives back to the school to fly on the flagpole for the following year.

Jack the Prisoner

This is an 8-minute prequel to Season 6 of 24. It's definitely worth watching as it gives insight into what the Chinese want from Jack. The video is pretty dark, but you can see enough to get the gist. Almost one month until the premiere...

Thursday

Girls Do Fart

From www.ajc.com:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — It is considered polite to light a match after passing gas. Not while on a plane.

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Support the Arts at BC

Benedictine will host a benefit concert at the Trustees Theatre featuring the Modern Skirts and The Empties. The concert is Wednesday, December 20 at 7:30 and the proceeds will go towards promoting the Fine Arts department at the school. Admission is $10 and the Alumni Association is offering a $20 package which includes a pre-concert reception at the Planters Inn.

All I know about these bands is that they hail from Athens, GA. Ryan, maybe you can give us a "scouting report" for the Modern Skirts and the Empties. Dr. Whelan is the driving force behind this effort and his son, Eddie, is good friends with the band members.

I know ya'll don't give a damn about the arts, but come on out and support BC. If nothing else, you can get drunk and make fun of the kids at the concert.

Lowndes: The Final Chapter

Apparently I'm the only one left on this blog. But that's fine because they didn't have blogs back in 1996 anyway. So I appreciate ya'll playing along and remaining in character.

Usually any team that has its sights set on a state title has to face a Valdosta-based squad at some point, and '96 was no different. In the wake of the greatest BC win in modern history, the confetti at Gallaher's and H.T. Connolly's settled, and the Cadets began preparing to host 6th-ranked Lowndes in a showdown at Memorial Stadium.

Coach Brackett immediately began to raise concerns that the Vikings' fun-n-gun attack would exploit BC's only real weakness that year: the secondary. But BC had emotional advantages. It was, after all, Gannam Day week.

Stay tuned as we relive one of the biggest weeks in BC football history.

Round Two: BC over LaGrange

And so in week 2 the Cadets managed another upset, this time with a decisive victory over the state's 2nd-ranked team. When will something like this happen again? Probably not until the Hale-Bopp comet makes another pass.



"BC OUTFIGHTS LAGRANGE"

BC outfights LaGrange

By John Clayton
Savannah Morning News
November 30, 1996

LAGRANGE - For the second half of Benedictine's 23-17 playoff victory over previously unbeaten LaGrange Friday night, the Cadets looked like schoolyard bullies who had picked a fight against a smaller foe.

Try as the smaller but quicker Grangers might to slip away, they somehow always stayed within arms' reach and were forced to take another blow.

And that was just the way BC coach Tommy Brackett had planned it.

"You could say that we wanted to take advantage of our size up front," Brackett said. "We told our guys this week that this was going to be a good old backyard, draw a line in the dirt fight and that it was going to be physical."

The Cadets (11-1) took advantage of three second-half miscues by the second-ranked Grangers (11-1) to hold onto the ball for more than 18 minutes in the second half.

Defensively, BC limited LaGrange to minus-18 yards rushing in the second half and 41 yards for the game.

Seventh-ranked BC returned to its wishbone roots for most of the game, putting together a 13-play, 75-yard scoring drive to start the third quarter.

Walter Simmons scored on a 1-yard plunge with 5:34 left in the third quarter to put BC ahead for good, 17-14.

LaGrange standout receiver Carlo Heard fumbled the ensuing kick and Chris Mercer recovered at the LaGrange 29 to set up another short scoring drive.

Eight plays later, BC quarterback Tommy McNamara sneaked over from the 1 to put the Cadets ahead 23-14 after Scott Shelton's extra-point attempt fle wide left with 1:45 left in the third quarter.

That miss was the only glitch in BC's second-half performance.

"I think it's a tribute to our guys that we can come out and throw the ball 21 times and win and then come out here and throw it three or four times and win," Brackett said.

Bo Parsons cut into BC's lead with a 44-yard field goal, LaGrange's longest of the season with 1:53 left in the game.

The Grangers got the ball back at their own 44 with 19 seconds to play, but could not find a miracle in the Hail Mary pass as time expired.

BC ran up 241 yards on the ground behind an unbalanced offensive line for most of the game.

Brackett gave credit to the man he replaced, Jim Walsh, Sr., for coming up with the idea to run behind an unbalanced line for part of the game.

Walsh was coaching BC the last time the Cadets made the state quarterfinals in 1979.

The Cadets appeared in control in the first half, taking a 3-0 lead on Shelton's 20-yard field goal with 4:41 left in the opening quarter.

Shelton's score was set up by the 58-yard run of Stephen Sauers on BC's second play from scrimmage. Sauers found himself as the odd-man out of the backfield when BC neglected the wishbone for much of the season, but was happy to get the ball Friday night.

"It felt good," Sauers said. "We all played well and played well as a team and that's what you have to do to win state."

LaGrange's J.R. Revere answered by driving the Grangers 71 yards and setting a new school record for touchdowns by a quarterback with a 1-yard run on fourth down.

The Grangers made good on 3 of 4 third-down conversion attempts on that drive.

But the Cadet's bounced back immediately with a five minute, 65-yard drive that ended with McNamara's 33-yard sprint on an option around right end to put BC ahead 10-7.

The cadets only lapse in the first half cost them the halftime lead.

LaGrange's Ashante Woodyard came untouched from left end to block a Gene Dotson punt and run it in five yards for the score to put the Grangers up 14-10 at the half.

But that play did not spoil the fun for the Cadets, who will face Lowndes County next Friday.

"I really enjoyed myself," said 340-pound BC lineman Donald Joyce. "We knew it would be physical. We went out and lined up and the best team won."

"The Biggest High School Football Team I've Ever Seen"

Ok, we’re finally “on schedule” now. After BC squeezed past Northside, people really started to talk. The eighth-ranked Cadets would next have to face the second-ranked team in the state, on the road. The AJC didn't think BC stood a chance against an undefeated powerhouse like LaGrange, whom many felt would have little trouble bringing home the state title in 3 weeks.

Thankfully, because it was a holiday weekend, many Savannahians were able to leave early that Friday morning for the game. But then again, a rare trip to the second round of the state AAAA playoffs wouldn't have stopped most BC fans from missing work anyway.

I remember, albeit vaguely, coming home to Savannah for Thanksgiving that year and everybody just couldn't stop talking about BC. I remember sitting down with my uncle (Tom) and cousin (Jack) with an atlas of Georgia on my grandma's kitchen table. They were mapping out the best route to the small city on the Alabama border, which is a long-ass drive considering it’s on the completely opposite side of the state and you have to take back-roads the entire way to get there. Anyway, this preview headlined the front cover of Friday's sports section:

“IN THIS MATCHUP, BC PLAYS THE HEAVY”

By John Clayton
Savannah Morning News
November 29, 1996

LaGrange coach Steve Pardue’s first impression of the Benedictine team was a lasting one. “I look at BC, and I think there should be a weight limit in high school football,” Pardue said. “They’re the biggest high school football team I’ve seen.”

And Pardue doesn’t expect any changes for the lighter, after Thursday’s Thanksgiving Day meal.

No. 8 BC (10-1) makes the long road trip to LaGrange at 8 p.m. to face the second-ranked Grangers, the champions of Region 4-AAAA, the second round of the Class AAAA playoffs.

The Grangers return to the state playoffs after a five-year absence. Any size disadvantage for LaGrange is made up for the quickness and the magnitude of a perfect 11-0 record.

BC Coach Tommy Brackett, whose team is coming off an emotional 11-10 overtime victory over Northside in last week’s opening round, said the Cadets are probably the underdog as they prepare to face a smaller but quicker team.

"LaGrange has some tremendous athletes with a lot of quickness and speed, but even in our own region we faced the same dilemma week-in and week-out as far as
speed is concerned," Brackett said. "But don't count us out. These guys continue to amaze me -- how they’re able to reach down and get things done.”

"We're probably not supposed to win this game, but you'll have prove it to me that we don't have a chance to win.”

As it has been all season, BC was spurred by its hard-hitting defense against Northside, which allowed standout quarterback Anthony Sessions 176 rushing yards but only one touchdown, which came on the game's opening drive.

While the BC defense has been outstanding this season, allowing seven points per game on the average, it may face its toughest test yet in LaGrange's potent Wing-T.

The Grangers are averaging 396 yards and 35 points per game.

Quaterback J. R. Revere’s father is a LaGrange assistant coach and has gone from ball-boy to three-year starting quarterback.

“Offensively, everything goes through our quarterback,” Pardue said. “His dad is our assistant coach, so he’s basically been our program for the last 14 years.”

Revere has thrown for 1,087 yards and 12 touchdowns, while running 756 yards and 16 scores.