I would like to take this opportunity to formally nominate Mr. Christopher A. Lane for BMBS Man of the Year. In the ten years that I’ve had the privilege of knowing Mr. Lane, he has exemplified to the fullest what it means to be a Cadet, a Savannahian, and an American.
Between a full time college schedule, sixty hour work-weeks and twice-daily trips to the gym, Chris still finds time to get inappropriately drunk at any opportunity. I would be remiss if I did not mention that this picture was taken between 6:00am and 7:00am at Shoney’s where Chris devoured no less than eight plates at the breakfast buffet after a hard night of binge drinking.
Here is a short list of traits that I believe qualify Chris for this honor:
- Former Cadet Lieutenant Colonel (Would’ve made Cadet Colonel if Will wasn’t such a kiss-ass)
- Does not listen to rap music
- Sired an entire little league baseball team
- Picked a fight at Dingus on Halloween with a guy dressed as Osama Bin Laden
- Drinks scotch and likes it
- Missed a friend’s wedding because he was drunk at Hooters
- Has totaled or brought about the demise of five cars
- Once ate the Bible while waterskiing
The list goes on, but the point is that Chris Lane is more than qualified and deserving of this award. Cast your vote for Mr. Christopher A. Lane: BMBS Man of the Year.
Between a full time college schedule, sixty hour work-weeks and twice-daily trips to the gym, Chris still finds time to get inappropriately drunk at any opportunity. I would be remiss if I did not mention that this picture was taken between 6:00am and 7:00am at Shoney’s where Chris devoured no less than eight plates at the breakfast buffet after a hard night of binge drinking.
Here is a short list of traits that I believe qualify Chris for this honor:
- Former Cadet Lieutenant Colonel (Would’ve made Cadet Colonel if Will wasn’t such a kiss-ass)
- Does not listen to rap music
- Sired an entire little league baseball team
- Picked a fight at Dingus on Halloween with a guy dressed as Osama Bin Laden
- Drinks scotch and likes it
- Missed a friend’s wedding because he was drunk at Hooters
- Has totaled or brought about the demise of five cars
- Once ate the Bible while waterskiing
The list goes on, but the point is that Chris Lane is more than qualified and deserving of this award. Cast your vote for Mr. Christopher A. Lane: BMBS Man of the Year.
2 comments:
You forgot to mention that Mr. Lane penned one of the most intelligent and humorous short stories I've ever read, "The Legend of Brick McBain."
Pure genius.
I hate Chris.
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