Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

I took last week off mainly for a lack of material, but I’m back today with your Gems of the Week:

Dishonorable Mention:
"Our local hospitals need to be unionized. Why would anyone want to be a patient in a hospital that doesn't treat their employees fairly?"
- Ok, if that’s a route you’re willing to take, get ready for more expensive, repeat MORE EXPENSIVE, health care and worse service. That’s what unions do.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Please put a traffic cop in Georgetown between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m."
- Why? It’s not like anyone is speeding.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Thank you to the kind lady who paid for my purchase at the Piggly Wiggly on Victory Drive on Thanksgiving Day. You made my day."
- I keep seeing submissions like this. I can’t shake the feeling that more people are going shopping with no money, hoping for a handout and in order to keep these people from holding up the line, someone behind them ends up paying. I’m not falling for it, deadbeat. If money's tight, go through the proper channels for help. Don't prey on the kindness of unsuspecting strangers.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I also had trouble getting through to vote on "Dancing with the Stars." I used three different cell phones and all said I had reached my limit of calls. We need a recount."
- Give it up, Slater lost.

Third Runner-up:
"Near-riots, beatings and muggings for the PlayStation 3? Are marketers taunting the ignorance of the public by limiting production? If so, they should be held criminally liable."
- There are some good words in this one. I especially like “taunting the ignorance of the public.” No one is purposely limiting production to drive up demand. It doesn’t work that way. Also, “criminally liable?” That doesn’t work either. What would be the charge? This is just another great example of someone who has picked up a few buzz words and immediately declared himself an expert. You’re not fooling anyone.

Second Runner-up:
"Chili's has the best barbecue sauce."
- You must be from the north. Try Johnny Harris or Carey Hilliards; those are far better than any national chain. I’d tell you go try Walls for great barbecue, but you’d never find it because it’s not on Abercorn. On second thought, I’d tell you to just go to Sonny’s or something. You don’t deserve Walls. Yankee.

First Runner-up
"The concert hall at Armstrong Atlantic State University should have been full on Tuesday, Nov. 28. The Savannah Wind Ensemble gave a stellar performance of symphonic music. Where were you, Savannah?"
- People who go to things like wind ensembles, ballet shows and foreign movies go to those things because they want to come off as cultured. They really don’t like going, but they do so to keep up the façade to their friends that they are sophisticated. No one wants to sit and listen to flutes and horns for six hours, I don’t care who you are. (By the way MacKenzie, The Queen is a British film. That means it's foreign.)

And your Gem of the Week:
"What happened to Chip, the V.P. of O.C. Welch? We don't see him on television anymore."
- Allegedly, Chip bit Stephen about five or six years ago. Stephen has been aching to get back at Chip, so I guess he’s hiding.

Happy Friday, folks.