Vox Gems: Christmas Edition

‘Tis the season for more Vox Gems:

Honorable Mention:
"To the person counting how many drinks someone has in a bar, get a life."
- Counting your drinks is lame.

Honorable Mention:
"The Empty Stocking Fund needs sadder stories. Poor decisions about marriage, kids, and education don't really make me want to give more."
- Congratulations are in order for this contributor for making me laugh at something so inappropriate.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Downtown merchants need to cut out their snooty attitudes. This is not Beverly Hills. Remember, the meek shall inherit the earth."
- Stop quoting Bible verses, cracker.

Third Runner-up:
"The next time you light up a joint or do a line of coke, remember you are bankrolling violent crime in the city."
- But don’t let anyone tell you that you’re funding terrorism. Those guys sell heroin.

Second Runner-up:
"We need to open up to the terrorists and talk to them? I don't know anybody who said this about Hitler. Did Lincoln say, 'Get me Robert E. Lee so we can talk,' or did Sherman march through Atlanta?"
- What?

First Runner-up:
"Savannah cabs are disgusting. It doesn't matter how dirty, smelly or old the vehicle is, the windows don't have to work and the shocks can be broken, but it can be a cab in this town."
- Wait, cabs are gross? You mean that getting into the back seat of a strange car that no less than a thousand different people have coughed or farted in isn’t hygienic? No way.

And Your Gem of the Week:
"Attention Court TV, if Savannah could survive Sherman's fiery march, it will certainly survive the Ross trial."
- Yeah, and if California can survive the OJ trial, then none of those earthquakes can make it break away from the rest of the continent. I like to make irrational comparisons too.

Merry Christmas, folks. Happy Friday.