Earlier today I stopped by another one of my favorite Athens eateries: Cali 'N Titos. Former Georgia students will know this as Caliente Cab, which has simply relocated to Lumpkin Street and changed names but has the same exact menu. Anyway, all of this is beside the point. As I'm waiting patiently for my burrito ($6, but big enough for two meals, practically the best deal in town) a loud, obnoxious, obese sorority girl donned in really big "goofy" sunglasses and a tennis skirt that could easily be made into living room curtains makes her way to the counter to place her order. She makes clear to the cashier in her loud but raspy voice that she specifically wants her Cuban sandwich with "double steak" and "double cheese," with an extra side of fries.
And it got me thinking: government is essentially a giant, obese sorority girl. An alimentary canal with an endless appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. An ever-expanding, overfed monster that takes in so much and wastes so much money that's not even hers and constantly keeps asking for more, more, more. And when we decide to cut her diet by just the slightest bit by (God forbid) letting people keep more of the money they earn, her stomach growls with disdain even louder.
So when you hear Charlie Rangel and other Democrats in the Means and Ways Committee saying all options are on the table with regards to tax increases, ask yourself: why would we want to feed the Kappa Kappa Gamma girl's bottomless pit even further?
4 comments:
You've just made the best analogy I've ever heard.
"I think I harpooned Shamoo last night..." - Anonymous
My mom was a Kappa Kappa Gamma, but no offense taken. In fact, in her day I think they weighed girls before they could get into their sorority. Girls too fat to get in were sent away with a scarlet "F" on their chest.
"Greg made out with that beached whale and I harpooned Shamoo"
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