Friday, March 16, 2007

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

I took a hiatus last week to celebrate my birth, but I’m back now. Enjoy the Gems!

Dishonorable Mention:
"For the powerful and wealthy politicians, their friends and business associates come first, before health care for children. How can these so-called lawmakers look their own families in the face?"
- I don’t want politicians to ever have anything to do with health care. I wouldn’t get tax advice from my barber, and I wouldn’t let Stephen cut my hair.

Dishonorable Mention:
"The Comcast turtles might have it over the Geico gecko, but the Aflac duck tops them all."
- Shut up.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Can we please get a light at Paulsen and 63rd Streets?
- Vox Populi will not install street lights or traffic signals for you. Call the City Manager; he’ll refer you to the Department of Public Safety, who will refer you to the Department of Motor Vehicles, who will refer you to the Department of Public Works, who will then refer you back to the City Manager. I love government.

Second Runner-up:
"The soldiers and their wives complaining about the treatment at Walter Reed Hospital make me sick. People are such babies now. You're getting free medical care. Be grateful."
- You are an insensitive prick. What kills me is that all the bleeding hearts out there that think this Walter Reed situation is such a travesty, and it is a travesty, they still want to see publicized healthcare.

First Runner-up:
"As a 'tourist' who has zipped off an HOV exit in error, I observed that the exit lanes are marked identically to the through lane. The exit lanes need to be painted in a different color, with arrows indicating the through lane. Those left exits are most confusing to out-of-towners."
- Is it so hard to pay attention to where you’re going? Atlanta is a terrible place, but at least they have road signs. Don’t drive like a retard and you won’t crash. I also hate that you used the word “zipped.”

And your Gem of the Week:
"I am a man and occasionally get a manicure. I prefer to have clear-coat nail polish applied afterward. I wonder how women feel about that. Should I have them buffed, or is it ok to have the clear-coat polish?"
- This guy called Vox on his pink RAZR phone. What a pansy.

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, folks!

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