Friday, September 01, 2006

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

This week provided an absolute gold mine of stupid remarks. Here you go, folks; your Gems of the Week:

Dishonorable Mention:
"Are you ever going to cut the weeds on Chatham Parkway? What an eyesore."
- What a stupid thing to complain about. It’s the Chatham Parkway, not Rodeo Drive. It’s going to have weeds. I just had to mention this one, but you’ll get no prize. I’m sure you’ll complain about that too.

Third Runner-up:
"Go back to rationing gasoline and neighborhood schools. It would help us and hurt the big gasoline companies."
- Again with the gas prices. If gas is just too expensive for you, take the bus. You can get a weekly CAT Card for $12 or a monthly CAT Pass for $48. Just shut up about gas prices. No one is forcing you to drive.

Second Runner-up:
"Pedestrians have the right of way in the state of Georgia."
- That may be true, but you go ahead and step out onto Whitaker, Drayton, or Bay Street without looking and see what happens. It’s like my Dad once said, “You can be dead right.”

First Runner-up:
"What are we going to do about school nutrition? Every year it is the same thing and I feel sorry for the obese kids."
- Well, for starters, you could pack your little porker a lunch. Everything served in cafeterias is fried because it’s cheap and easy to make. Just fix him a sandwich and hold the mayo, ranch dressing, buffalo sauce and marinara. That’s why your kid is fat in the first place.

And your Gem of the Week:
"The best way to help the schools is to outlaw all private schools and make all children go to public schools."
- You must be retarded. Or you’re a communist. If everyone were forced to go to public schools, what incentive would the public schools have to provide a quality education? There would be no private schools to force public schools to keep up. This would ultimately lead to having even more dumb people around like you.

2 comments:

Patrick said...

The last lady is right. We can't leave things as important as a child's education to the unruly forces of the market. Especially when government schools already do such a great job as it is.

While we're at it, let's do the same thing with food. Food is vitally important, so let's go ahead and abolish all supermarkets in Savannah and replace them with Soviet-style, government-run grocery stores. This would be a great idea. Government monopolies already have such a great track record as it is. Who needs things like competition and incentives? C'mon who's with me?

HANK said...

The spoiled rich UGA girl, sitting in the back of an Economics class, wearing a Che shirt, sipping a Starbucks, an ipod dangling from her ear, "I'm going to Zimbabwe this summer to help the needy", and saying "President Bush is responsible for the sun not shining"... girl is with you.