Friday, September 08, 2006

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

The Voxians never cease to supply me with fodder for my little column here. Here’s this weeks batch.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Hey CBS, how about teams of Christians, Jews and Muslims for the next Survivor?"
- It’s already going on, has been for years. Episodes are airing daily. Watch the news.

Third Runner-up:
"Let's forget about the cigarette butts and please get the criminal butts."
- What a cute and clever turn of phrase. Good for you. Criminal butts… you must be Santa Claus because you SLEIGH me! Pun intended.

Second Runner-up:
"Dodge ball is the dumbest game. Getting hit by a ball is no fun. Some kids break a bone because of dodge ball. I wish orthopedists would speak up about injuries caused in this game."
- Dodgeball is a game in the purest form. Two teams. Balls. If you get hit, you’re out. What’s so unfair? Of course getting hit is no fun. That’s why you DODGE the ball. Pansy.

First Runner-up:
"I purchased regular gas with my credit card in north Georgia for $2.49 a gallon. It was $2.82 for regular in Savannah. I would like for the Savannah service station owners to explain this difference."
- It wouldn’t be Vox Populi without CONSTANT complaints about gas prices. Anyway, retard, the price difference probably has something to do with the fact that there are a lot more motorists here in Savannah than there were in whatever hick-ass North Georgia town you were visiting. More motorists mean higher demand for fuel. Higher demand means higher prices. If price didn’t increase with demand, a shortage would eventually occur. Get a clue. Or a high school diploma.

And your Gem of the Week…
"If you want to end the Iraq war quickly and efficiently, let's put Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Jack Kingston, Saxby Chambliss, Johnny Isakson and the rest of the chicken hawks on the front lines and bring our brave soldiers home. If they want a war, let them fight a war."
- Six men and some birds could not win a military engagement. It’s not their job. This is why we have armed forces.

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1 comment:

tim said...

fucking assholes