Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

I had to dig for these. Are the Voxians getting smarter? Doubtful. Here's the Gems of the Week!

Dishonorable Mention:
"Why is it the people too cheap to have an answering machine are always the ones getting involved in church, business and community activities? People must call them endlessly, only to find no one home. Please have some consideration for your fellow human beings."
- I hate this person.

Third Runner-up:
"My five brothers and myself were all given the paddle back in high school, and we turned out okay."
- Maybe you didn’t turn out as okay as you think. The proper way to say or write that phrase is, “my five brothers and I.” Let it be said that BMBS supports both good grammar and paddling in schools.

Second Runner-up:
"This morning my newspaper was so squashed and wrinkled, I had to get the ironing board out just to read it."
- Ironing the newspaper?! How ruthlessly absurd! That’s just plain ridiculous! You don’t iron newspapers, you iron clothes! You’re crazy!

First Runner-up:
Everyone wants to blame fast-food restaurants for kids being obese. I think it is all those sugary cereals they eat.”
- Yeah, your kid weighs 300 pounds and it’s all Count Chocula’s fault. Kids are fat these days because no one makes them go outside. They just sit in front of an Xbox all day and dip their fat little fingers in ranch dressing. Go outside, fatty.

And your Gem of the Week:
"Regarding the videotape trying to urge Americans to convert to Islam, I am an American menopausal woman, and I will not wear a burka for any man or religion."
- Ew. You could’ve just said you were an older woman, but you went the extra mile there. Gross.