will not be coming out of retirement anymore.
"I'm happy with the way my career went and ended and I'm not coming back."
Good. Stay gone. I'll be so happy never to see him smirk at the cameras, counting his wins on his fingers like the humble soul he is. He didn't beat cancer - his doctors did. "Live Strong"... by riding a bicycle a lot and getting completely undeserved attention for it.
"Sitting here today, dealing with all this stuff again, knowing if I were to go back, there's no way I could get a fair shake -- on the roadside, in doping control, or the labs."
I don't buy this conspiracy theory BS for a second. In fact, it makes me want to believe the claims against him even more. Yeah, some evil bad guys are going to get away with tainting your results since you're the most unfairly popular "athlete" in sports. It's so appropriate that he married Sheryl Crow - another no-talent hack who got famous in her field for no reason at all. Maybe she should get cancer so she can have another hit again, because it's not going to happen otherwise.
8 comments:
Damn Ryan, it sounds like you were born and raised in socialist Paris. I like Lance because he pisses off smug Frogs, I mean French people. Wether Lance has cheated or not, receives more attention than he deserves, he has treated the Tour De France like a red headed step child year after year.
Its like they always say... "Yeah, the US had to bail you out of three wars. But you did a great job on the Mayonnaise, Pierre"
Here's my take on Lance Armstrong:
-He most likely did blood dope at one time or another in his career(although much of the competition is doing it too).
-He is smug and I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him.
-His former wife is MUCH hotter than Sheryl Crow and probably a better singer.
-He has helped raise more than $50 million dollars for cancer research. It cost a lot of money to do research and finding cures for cancer takes a lot more than a few scientists in a room thinking up of new ways to combat it. Just like anything else it takes money(Pat, you know what I am talking about). A lot of research is done by trial and error which obviously increases the cost. Now, I know some people might say that he didn't come up with the yellow bracelet idea, but his name is the driving force behind all of it. My point is that his legacy is not going to be the Tour de France or the fact that he is kind of a jerk. It is going to be the money that has been raised. Most people are kind of hokey in that they need to feel like they are a part of something or some bullshit like that. So, if people keep on giving money for cancer because of some stupid braclet or a guy that is a huge asshole then I can overlook Lance Armstrong's personality.
I'm sure his publicist had to coax him into it. Let's give him/her all the credit for the fundraising.
And I suppose all the losers on reality TV shows, Survivor especially, are truely humble "down-to-earth" people that are only competing for the glory of victory?... Bullshit, they want as much notoriety as Lance. At least there are two benefits coming out of Lance's spotlight.
1) A crap load of money has been raised for cancer
2) The French have been proven once again they they'll never be better than the USA.
What has that gay guy from the first Survivor ever done for the public?.. Showing his bare fat ass prancing on a white sand beach? Evading taxes?
Jack Bauer is dead.
Stephen,
That's pretty awkward how serious you took this. Plus, comparing Armstrong to people on Survivor makes no sense at all.
I guess I'll copy and try to take something you like and make fun of it, because that makes a good argument: Georgia Tech sucks. I guess that makes me a good debater now.
This post has been hijacked. On that note, here are some jokes about France to lighten up the day:
Q. How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French?
A. I give up.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A. Nobody knows. It's never been tried.
Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The French Army.
Q. Why was the Chunnel built under the English Channel?
A. So the French government could to flee to London.
Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?
A: They have 5 gears...4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they're attacked from behind!
Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Q: Why do they have trees in Paris?
A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun
Q: Why is good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.
Q: What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?
A: To say "I surrender" in German
Q: Why was Jesus not born in France?
A: Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.
Q: Where are the brave French soldiers buried?
A: There aren't any so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.
Ha, I was messing around with you Ryan. Nothing is taken seriously on this blog. The joke was that Suvivor has no connection with Lance Armstrong. I only mentioned it because by degrading the show, it would make you upset, whether or not there was a connection. Of which I did not care to clarify. I can only gather that I hit a soft spot when I mentioned Survivor... at which point you took it seriously. Which made me glad and you mad. So there hot shot.
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