Originally I was going to post this as a comment to Will's article below, but I wanted to get more attention.
As all of you may recall, I have never participated in any pre-parade festivities. Why is that? Well, sure, first of all I am a mutt cracker; what fellow crackers refer to as a "Heinz 57". I have no strong familial background in any European country in particular, just a mish-mash of shit, i.e. not Irish. So I have never been privy to any annual gathering where everyone's dad and his BC friends drink beer for breakfast and embarrass themselves. But "everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day," right?
I am gonna go ahead and lay my pride on the line: Could I join someone for their March 17th celebrations and get some tradition rubbed off on me? I'm tired of being a bystanding ragamuffin to these things. I promise I'll wear a coat, tie, and khaki pants. I can't promise boat shoes, for I have none. Maybe I could pull off the New Balance look. I also don't have any croakies (is that how the hell you spell it?). Give me some, I'll wear 'em. This year I would like to start an annual tradition for myself of being that guy. I know this is very Matt Menefee of me, but yes, I'm asking to be invited. I mean, come on, my hairline is receding.
Addendum: Who is walking in the parade? I just want to know who will watch with me from the sidelines.
2 comments:
Ryan, you have made me teary eyed. I will foregive your past "cracker green t-shirt wearing" days. Since you have the white pasty skin so characteristic among Irish Americans, I'm willing to accept you as one of our own on the 17th. If you shed your sport coat even for a minute, you will never be allowed to participate again. No tennis shoes are allowed, you must be up by the ass crack of dawn, a slight hangover must exist (as an incentive to start drinking again), you must wear a green coat and/or a green tie. In fact, I might have a green coat for you. Follow these rules, and you are more than welcome.
Your cause is noble and your character is unquestioned. However, these breakfasts are limited to a set number of invitations. My advice to you is to go to mass at the Cathedral with Whitledge at 8:00. After communion, head to Pinkie Masters and start drinking heavily. We will meet ya'll there after around 9:45. You are welcome to march as long as you wear a coat and tie.
We are currently accepting applications for the Irish Hurricanes. Our goal is to host our own breakfast within the next few years.
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