As most of you know, I helped Mr. Ganem do the drinks at the Telfair Ball. I arrived at 3:00 and began setting up bars inside the museum and at a huge tent in Monterey Square. The Silent Auction started at 6:00 inside the museum. While this was going on, I was helping setup inside the tent. Guests arrived at the tent for cocktails around 7:15. I never saw so many arrogant assholes in white ties and tails. Once they settled down at their tables, my job was to go around and pour wine. However, each table already had a bottle of red and a bottle of white. Anyways, pouring wine is probably the most stressful thing I've ever done. I had to reach over shoulders and pour into the glasses on the table and try my best not to spill anything. It also sucked having to interrupt conversations and ask if anyone would care for some wine, when there were already two bottles at the table.
After dinner came the live auction with two redneck sisters from Tennessee presiding. I didn't pay attention to most of the auctions, but I do remember an oyster roast going for $6,000. Also, some pompous ass auctioned off a tour of his own home and dinner at the First City Club. The live auction ended around 11:00 and the band cranked up. I don't know who they were, but they were cranking out the beach music.
Around 12:00, the guests shuffled back over to the museum for a midnight breakfast. I stayed in the tent cleaning up and hauling stuff back to Mr. Ganem's truck. The highlight of my night came when I was loading coolers onto a hand truck. I had already placed one cooler down and went inside to get another one. When I came out, a drunk girl, in her gown, was sitting on the cooler. She looked to be in her mid-to-late twenties. I politely asked her if she could move so I could set my cooler on top of the one she was sitting on. She looked at me with an appauled face and said no, as if I had the audacity to ask her such a question. It was that moment that I decided I would never join any of these elitist organizations nor would I ever send any of my children to Country Day.
I was finally dismissed at 2:30 and called Stephen's answering service. My call was fowarded to his brother, Patrick, who informed me the Leonard clan was all at Irish Times and all completely wasted. I the bar had closed by the time I got there, so I ended up cramming the Leonards and their dates in my car and taking them to the Hilton. I had to take Kevin back to his apartment and on the way there, he told me about how he was going to hook up with some married woman. I got home around 3:00 and went straight to bed, dreaming of how I will become rich and powerful and ruin the life of that bitch on the cooler.
2 comments:
I want to appologize to you, Will, for my absence from the Leonard gathering. But I am happy that my answering serving is working so well. After having a great time at the wedding reception (this was probably due to the lack of elitest at the wedding), I was in charge of carpooling my mom, Kevin, his date, and my date to Irish Times. Kevin's date and my date were very worn out from the blow out reception at the Hilton, and due to her grandfather just passing away, Kevin's date wasn't very psyched about going to the bar. So, as I was dropping off my mother and Kevin at Irish Times, "Big Daddy Kuda" decides this is the perfect moment (as the stars were coming out, angry drivers were honking behind us, and the brothers were getting out of their Escalades for their night out at the Frozen P.) to grab his date and make out with her like there is no tomorrow, the only way he knows how. All the while my poor mother is witnessing this completely white trash cracker move by my evil twin. Needless to say, I was not to eager to join up with Kevin at Irish Times... where he ran across the new love of his life, a married women. (Yes, I'm very proud.) Sorry to hear about the run in with the Country Day girl.
I wish I would have known of Kevin's cl(ass) move when we were at the bar. First, I would have insisted momma get a taxi back to the hotel. Then I would have waited for the Kuda to make his move on said married chick. (note: Married chick was pretty hot, but I knew she was trash when I told her how great her boobs looked, and she wasn't the least bit offended. Actually, she was pretty flattered.) Once Kuda started to swoop in for the kill, I would have thrown his cracker ass into the street, followed by a swift kick to the face with my 14's.
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