Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

Before global warming kills us all, enjoy the Gems of the Week.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Congratulations to Serena Williams on an outstanding performance at the Australian Open."
- Serena Williams doesn’t read the Savannah Morning News.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Why do you have to pay court fees for traffic court if you opt not to go to court but just pay your fine? It seems like you should get a deal if you don't waste the court's time."
- One would think so, but you have to pay court fees because this is a government operation. Government employees are not paid to use reason or discretion.

Dishonorable Mention:
"It's impossible to build skyscrapers in Savannah because there is not a solid enough bedrock. It can't support the weight. Besides, skyscrapers would be incongruous with this setting. Move to Atlanta if you want skyscrapers."
- Be honest; you just called in to use the word incongruous.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Whatever happened to vehicle inspection? Everyday I see cars with only one taillight, no blinkers, headlights shining into the trees, and many other infractions. It would be nice to have inspections back."
- Why do you care?

Second Runner-up:
"I hate the automated reminders of doctors appointments. What if a child answers the phone? Would they be able to receive the message and relate it to the person the appointment is for?"
- Would it really be that hard for a kid to relate to you that you have a doctor’s appointment? “Mom, you’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow… Yeah, the doctor… You know, the guy in the white coat that looks in your ears… No, not him… The guy you always say you wish was my daddy… That guy… You have an appointment tomorrow… At noon... Right when The Bold and the Beautiful comes on… Yes, noon.”

First Runner-up:
"After reading last week's Vox about parking tickets, I checked four cars that park regularly in one block and they all had old parking tickets displayed on their dash."
- Listen, douche, quit helping the parking Nazis. And if I see you touch my car, I’ll kick your ass.

And your Gem of the Week:
"Advance warning to the kissing bandits on St. Patrick's Day: Keep in mind that every man in uniform you run up to may not want to be kissed. If you get pushed away rather roughly, don't get angry."
- Just TRY and find two men who don’t want to be kissed on St. Patrick’s Day. If you happen to find two men like that, introduce them so they can go get coffee together or something.

Happy Friday, folks.