Friday, February 23, 2007

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

Oh man, we had some GREAT sumbissions this week, but this isn’t the BCS and I picked one winner. Here they are, your Gems of the Week:

Dishonorable Mention:
"What kind of self-absorbed twit thinks people set a goal in life of earning minimum wage?"
- People unconsciously set that goal when they choose to drop out of school and not work hard when someone finally hires them.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Georgia Power makes family members on Social Security and welfare suffer with the high power bills. They are ripping off the public."
- Georgia Power is not picking on you. Everyone pays the same rate. Regardless, Georgia Power still sucks. They were recently allowed to increase their rate due to rising fuel costs under the condition that if fuel costs go back down, Georgia Power must reduce their rate or repay their customers. Don’t hold your breath for either.

Dishonorable Mention
“What closes clubs is the behavior people use in them clubs.”
- Wow. Ok, I’m not smug to the point that I make fun of people who use bad grammar in casual conversation. I don’t. However, when you call or write in to Vox to publicly make your point (which is really no point at all), clean up your grammar or everyone who reads your comment will think you’re a total idiot. People will automatically assume you’re an idiot just for contributing to Vox; don’t give them more evidence.

Third Runner-up:
"I confess. I'm the father of Anna Nicole's baby. Write me the check."
- Oh! How ruthlessly absurd! For you, a resident of Savannah, GA to say you’re the father of a rich, deceased California woman’s baby is simply ludicrous! But seriously, guys have only been telling that joke for what, three weeks now? You’re a quick one… NOT!!! Oh I got you good.

Second Runner-up:
"People in India were protesting Valentine's Day. Isn't that a waste of time? If they don't want to buy a valentine, don't buy one and let those who want to alone."
- Yes. That’s exactly why the Indian people were angered by Valentine’s Day; they didn’t want to buy cards. The Hindu and/or Muslim people in India were so upset over the commercialization of a Christian holiday that they took to the streets in protest.

First Runner-up:
"I picked my dogs up from doggie daycare at noon and they had not been walked yet."
- I wish we all had time to pick up our dogs from doggie daycare at noon on a week day, but we have to work. I’m completely certain that you are a used-to-be-hot, trophy housewife who does nothing but spend your rich husband’s money and flaunt your ever-sagging features at the lawn boy, pool boy, tennis coach, country club golf pro, gardener, cable guy, mail man, UPS guy, FedEx guy, auto mechanic, local cops, fire fighters, and your adolescent son’s friends. Walk your own dogs, hag.

And your Gem of the Week:
"I think all American law enforcement should stage a walk out for a day in protest over the border guard who was unjustly put in jail for doing his job when he shot an illegal alien drug dealer."
- Holy shit, are you kidding? I came across this on Wednesday and was literally stunned. This is by far the DUMBEST thing I’ve read in months, and I read Vox every day. This person can’t be serious. Just think what would happen if all law enforcement walked out on their jobs. It goes without saying that this is the front runner for Gem of the Year, 2007.

Happy Friday, folks.

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