It was a great week for the Gems. I had so much to choose from, so I threw in a lot more submissions. Here they are, your Gems of the Week:
Dishonorable Mention:
"I have an idea for a reality show called Trading Places. Those in Congress opposed to raising minimum wages would trade jobs and salaries with the minimum wage earner. Walk a mile in my shoes, Senator."
- That name is already taken. I’ve got an idea for a show. It’s called, “I Should Have Paid Attention In School.” It stars you.
Dishonorable Mention:
"Super Bowl, super hype. There was less than fifteen minutes of actual football action in that three hour extravaganza."
- Wrong. There were exactly sixty minutes of football action.
Dishonorable Mention:
"I won't be attending either high tea or hip-hop. I'm somewhere in between."
- “I’m too complex to be lumped into one category. I’m so unique. I can’t just check one box. I’m special.”
Dishonorable Mention:
"People who smoke ought to have to wear a bubble over their heads. Then other people wouldn't have to smell it and it might do away with cigarette butts."
- That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.
Dishonorable Mention:
"Where are the police, the D.O.T. or representative Buddy Carter to help us out with I-95 at 5 p.m.? People are using the shoulder of the road to merge onto exit 109. We need help."
- “Oh my gosh! We need help over here! People area driving CRAAAAZY! Get Buddy Carter out here to direct traffic!”
Dishonorable Mention:
"The Super Bowl is nothing but a game. It makes me sick that people act like something big is happening."
- Shut up.
Dishonorable Mention:
"Let Mexico annex the U.S. That way we will solve the illegal immigrant problem and the terrorists can attack Mexico."
- I take it back. THIS is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.
Third Runner-up:
"As long as you can give CEOs enormous bonuses and salaries just because they are a status symbol, you cannot justify not paying the American worker more fairly. It is a seriously lopsided system that needs reworking."
- The system is fine. If you’re working and you don’t think you’re getting paid enough, ask for a raise. If you don’t get it, work somewhere else. CEOs don’t become CEOs just by looking good in suits.
Second Runner-up:
"I am appalled Tybee Island can pay $7 million to purchase a campground but cannot afford to repair roads. Orange spray paint marks warning spots and that is pathetic."
- That orange spray paint is from the Tybee Marathon this past weekend, dumbass.
First Runner-up:
"My 10-year-old son got off the school bus in tears because his bus driver turned in front of another vehicle. What is wrong with First Student? Our kids are scared and crying."
- Your son is a total wuss. I mean it; call the wah-mbulance. Get him a Whine-ikein. Take him to McDonald’s for a wah-burger and some french-cries. What a pansy!
And your Gem of the Week:
"Taxi cabs in Savannah are a disgrace. Are there no government authorities that inspect them for cleanliness or comfort?"
- No, but I’m sure a “Savannah-Chatham County Metropolitan Department of Taxis, Pedi-cabs and Rickshaws Authority” is being formed as we speak. The operation will be funded by taxing the cabbies, who in turn will charge higher fares, but at least you’ll be comfortable.
Happy Friday, folks.
2 comments:
CEOs get paid what they do because that's what firms have to pay to attract and keep that level of talent. If these companies could hire them for cheaper they surely would, but they can't.
The same is true with ANY job. The power of alternatives is what determines how much you get paid. Like head coaches in college football for example. Sure, some may think Mark Richt's $2 million a year contract extension is ridiculous but that's what it costs to keep him at Georgia, or else he'd go somewhere else. I know I'm being annoying by stating the blatently obvious, but there are lots of folks from both sides of the political aisle that don't understand this concept.
As for the guy who claims to be a minimum-wage earner, I seriously doubt it. Despite what the "super-size" me guy tries to portray in his so-called "documentaries," it's almost impossible for anyone over the age of 18 who knows how to read, write, and mail comments to Vox Populi to earn less than $7 an hour. My guess his he's a union member or that he works for the DNC.
Also, Mark Richt has a skill that very few people have. You get paid what you are worth. If everyone could be the head coach of Georgia then he would get paid minimum wage. How many people do you think can shoot as well and jump as high as Kobe Bryant? No one. That is why he gets paid so much. How many people can be doctors and lawyers? Alot more but not everyone. That is why they get paid the way they do.
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