A Case Against Socialized Health Care.

This news bit from FoxNews.com gives an excellent example of how privatized health care (medical costs paid by the individual out of pocket, through health care insurance, or employer provided funds) always prevails against socialized health care (national tax revenue used to pay for the citizens' medical treatment.)

Cancer death rates are falling faster than ever in America. Plain and simple. Raw data shows that America, not Russia, are having fewer of it's citizens die from cancer.

"1996, there was just one truly effective drug for colon cancer. Today, there are six more, giving patients a variety of chemotherapy cocktails to try to hold their tumors in check, said Dr. Louis Weiner, medical oncology chief at Philadelphia's Fox Chase Cancer Center and a colorectal cancer specialist."

Question: Why the increase in effective drugs and lower death rates?

Answer: Profit!

Now, the happy go lucky, recycling, peace loving "Progressive" may want to the government to fund every one's medical treatment ranging from the common flu shot, to chemo therapy. These people ignore the fact that the government will not reimburse medical facilities at the proper fair market values. When the medical establishment is paid less, a lower quality product will be produced.

Since the US is still holding to his capitalist ideals, the medical profession is still profit driven. Result, higher quality medicine and reduced death rates for cancer.

"Progressives" will scream, "... but what about poor Jose, sitting on the street corner on Montgomery Crossroads? Who is going to pay for his migraine headache medicine?"

1. His Parents, if Jose is too young to work.
2. Jose, if he is old enough to work.

Savannah Morning News Letter of the Week

Steve Willis of Savannah has brought home another victory in our Letter of the Week.
Enjoy.

America out of step on Iraq

Over 90 percent of the people in Europe and Iraq believe that the United States is in Iraq in order to control the Iraqi and Middle Eastern oil.

They think we want to stay until the oil runs out. In the United States this point of view is almost never heard. Americans almost universally believe that we are in Iraq to subdue terrorism, and that everyone, including the administration, wants to get out as soon as safely possible.

But the European and Iraqi thoughts make a lot more sense. There are no known links between Iraq and 9/11, and there were no ties between Al Qaida and Iraq before the U.S. invasion, and it certainly looks to me that the Bush administration is willing to do or say just about anything to keep us in Iraq.

Does anyone really think anyone would be very interested in the Middle East if there were no oil there? I can't say for sure what is going on, but I don't like the apparent complete unwillingness of the powers that be in America to discuss the opinion held by the vast majority of people throughout the world. I don't like it at all.

STEVE WILLIS

Savannah

Steve’s written to the Savannah Morning News to wake us up again for the real reason for the US’s presence in Iraq. Apparently, over 90% of Europeans (Which ones?) and Iraqis (How’d you survey them?) believe we are in Iraq strictly for oil. Also, that 90% believes we intend to stay there until the oil runs out, which would take a few hundred years. Evidently, Mr. Willis conducted this survey himself. Mr. Willis later shifts gears from 90% of Europe and Iraq to say that “the vast majority of people throughout the world” shares this opinion.

This guy's good.

This letter, and really Mr. Willis’s life can be summed up with the line, “I can’t say for sure what’s going on.” Well, Steve, you may not know what's going on, but we still love reading what you think about it.

Snuffy's Lock of the Week: Week 7

Hey, ya'll. Snuffy P. Smith here with your Lock of the Week for week 7 of the college football season.

Louisville at Cincinnati (-10.5)

Louisville has been one of the most disappointing teams in college football this year. However, the Cards are still potent enough offensively to be able to stay within 10 points, if not upset the Bearcats.

Season Record: 4-2

Upset Alert: Boston College (-13.5) at Notre Dame
The Irish will not force 7 turnovers like they did last week against UCLA, but 3 might be enough to give Our Lady a shot.

The Quotable Connolly

This premiere edition of The Quotable Connolly harkens back to St. Patrick's Day 2004, when Chris unleashed this unforgettable caption on divorced middle-aged white women everywhere in downtown Savannah:

"Hey darlin', I want a wallet-size photo of you and me, right now!"*

*Footnote: If and when Chris ever decided to use this on younger females (those under the age of, say, 17), he would usually make sure to replace the word "darlin'" with "precious."

Quick Quiz

This is a fascinating quiz Boortz put up on his website. I'll post the answers in the comment section.

Who said the following:

1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above

2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few...and to replace it with shared responsibility for shared prosperity."

A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above

3) "(We)...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people."

A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Jose f Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above

4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own...in order to create this common ground."

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above

5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed."

A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above

6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched."

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above

Recap: BC vs. Thomson

BC lost a hard-fought battle with AAA powerhouse Thomson last night. The Bulldogs were much bigger up front and had more athletes, but BC never gave up and managed to drive the ball well all night. Things would have been really interesting had the Cadets not suffered three turnovers in the first quarter and a squib kick returned for a touchdown with 10 seconds left in the half.

Judging from all the sites BC has played in the last 10 years (Northside, Starr's Mill, The Corral, etc.), I'm pretty sure The Brickyard was the all-around best road game venue I've visited since the '98 playoff game at Valdosta. The place, located in the dead center of the town, is not that big, but it gets rowdy and you get the feeling that as soon as the sun sets the entire city shuts down and huddles into the confines of the stadium's brick walls.

I was impressed with the amount of fans we brought, but I get the feeling there will be less interest next week after this loss. This is unfortunate because last night really didn't matter in the first place, as the stakes are much bigger against sub-region opponent Hephzibah. I hope BC sponsors another bus trip and we get as many people as possible up there. Hephzibah has improved just as much as BC has in the past year and it should be a very close game.

I Can Relate

Amid all the fervor surrounding Bush's veto of SCHIP, I've found that I can relate to the plight of those families who can't afford to care for their children.

For years, I've wanted a Corvette Z06. I know I won't be able to afford the payment or the insurance, but I really want one. I know I'm not alone in this. I dare say countless of Americans want Corvettes. This is why I'll be supporting the SBMACP: the Supplemental Buy Me A Corvette Program.

It's so simple. You fill out the form and if you qualify, Uncle Sam will buy you a Corvette. Go ahead and live outside your means! Uncle Sam will pick up the tab!

SavannahNow Letter of the Week

Lately, I've found that reading the letters to the editor is far less irritating and infuriating than doing the Vox Gems, until I read this letter. It comes from Steve Willis of Savannah. Enjoy.

Americans don't like to face facts

What is happening here? There seems to be an almost universal pathological aversion to speaking the obvious truth in America. This administration lies and "disinforms" incessantly.

The war in Iraq is about oil. The Bush Administration planned to go there before 9/11, and never has had any intention of leaving until the oil runs out.

The current set of generals is highly regarded, (but the last crop was fired for not spewing the party line). The tax cuts for the rich have been bad for everyone but the rich, and their bank-accounts are on steroids.

Maybe there is a reason everyone in the world except Americans living in the "red" states believe in global warming, because it is obvious that the world is warming up, fast and furious. If you don't understand evolution, you don't understand science.

The reason medical costs are so high in the United States is that everyone inside the medical world is making exorbitant profit on the backs of everyone outside it (except for the politicians who are getting their cut).

Guns do kill people, and the reason the United States has such a gun-slaughter rate is not only that it is awash in a sea of guns, but no one can even discuss doing anything to control these guns without risking manic, well-funded attacks from the gun lobby.

The American media is owned by billionaires and their poor multimillionaire relatives. They use the media they own to broadcast whatever suits their interest. Their interest is not the same as mine or yours. Why can the truth not be spoken here anymore?

STEVE WILLIS
Savannah

Now, this letter isn't so much of a letter as it is just a series of claims. In his letter, Mr. Willis manages to arm-tackle the war in Iraq, tax cuts, global warming, our healthcare system, gun control, and even media bias. Whatever his point is, he gets across not with supporting facts, but the same piss-and-vinegar attitude that has gotten Steve Willis where he is today.

Tonight, I'll toss back a cold one for good ol' Steve Willis. It's inspiring when a man will stand up and speak on issues he knows absolutely nothing about.

God Bless America.

You Got Listserved 10/4/07

Original post:
How much water does UGA use? Just curious! Does UGA use Athens Clarke County water or it's own? Also, with gas prices and the drought has it been considered to go to a four day work week?
Just curious :-)

One of the responses:
Or dare I say it.... How about canceling home football games or just make them all away. This would save a bunch of water. But what would be the economic impact of this? I guess that one cannot drink money!

Snuffy's Lock of the Week: Week 6

Hey ya'll. Snuffy P. Smith here with your Lock of the Week for week 6 of the college football season.

Wisconsin at Illinois (-2.5)

Although Wisconsin has been skating on thin ice all season, they are clearly the better team. Illinois QB Juice Williams is turnover prone and will self-destruct against Wisconsin. This has "let-down game" written all over it after last week's win over Penn State.

Season Record: 4-1

Upset Alert: NC State at Florida State (-18)
The Wolfpack has played FSU tough the past few years. Neither team has an offense and low-scoring games always favor the underdog.

Too Little, Too Late?

After seven long years, George W. Bush woke up today and decided he's finally going to start acting like a small-government conservative. Get ready for a vicious media blitz from the other side and a fervent battle on Capitol Hill over the next few months. It's going to get nasty.

Free Market Radiohead

Radiohead, who are one of the biggest bands in the world, are releasing their next album in a unique way. They have decided to not sign with a record label and will release the album as a download on their website. The catch? You choose what you want to pay for it. You can pay $10, $7, or even $0 - as the website says: "It's up to you." What do you think of this as a business model? Knowing the general sad shape that the music industry is in, do you like this cutting out of the middleman? Will the people who do pay for it make up for the people who don't?

Keep in mind that there are no production costs for distributing mp3s as opposed to CDs. Also, they are selling an $80 package of the album that includes a bonus CD of b-sides, the vinyl copy of the album, and artwork/lyrics.

A Sad Day for Liberty

Hey y'all.

Hank here, class of '01. Even though I wasn't allowed to "graduate" due to the disciplinary point system, my heart still lies with my fellow Cadets. You might remember me as a BC trainer, and my classmates loved to affectionately yell my name at inappropriate times during the day. Some say I didn't have many friends. Not true. I had nearly 100 of the best friends a man could ever want. Hell, my classmates officially declared the day I was kicked out as HANK Day. Some Sophomore even claimed to carry my child.

After leaving BC, I delved into the automobile industry working as a mechanic. Now, my interests include religion, politics, history, tradition, economics, BC football, and long distance running. I believe in the one Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church, the free market system, less government, lower taxes, right to life and a strong military defense.

Anyways, on September 27, 2007 the Senate passed "hate crime" legislation that was attached to the Defense Authorization Bill. A sneak attack wrought by Liberals. For Senate "conservatives" to pass the defense spending bill with the help of the Left, the hate crime amendment was the price to pay. A hefty price for Liberty I say.

The hate crimes amendment would make it illegal for Christians to label homosexuality as wrong or even sinful. Whether or not you have a stance on the sexual orientation debate, this bill would be a major setback for Religious Freedom. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass and Son of Satan, argue their amendment helps "fight terrorism at home."

Honestly, would you label St. Michael's Church on Tybee Island as a terrorist organization for claiming that homosexuality is wrong?

Good news Lovers of Liberty; The President, using his last bit of back bone, is expected to veto the defense spending bill just because of the hate crime amendment. And, with only 60 Senate votes, it is unlikely that the veto will be overturned. Thank God. On a sad note, the Federal "hate crime" push is not over. In the future, Liberals will keep throwing this monkey wrench into our legislative system until one day Congress will be forced to enact it. Terrible.

Patrick, is the above case a good argument to introduce the "line item veto"?- (For those of you wondering, multiple unrelated laws can be introduced and passed under one bill. A line item veto thus allows the President to veto only certain parts of a bill, while allowing the remaining laws to pass. In the old days when the U.S.A was a confederacy, a Congressional Bill could contain only one law, causing laws to be debated and passed one by one. When the government was federalized and multiple bills were needed to save the country from collapse, Congress then allowed a bill to contain many laws. Even though less efficient, I believe the original way was better for the country. But, desperate times call for desperate measures.)

Snuffy's Lock of the Week: Week 5

Hey ya'll, Snuffy P. Smith here with your Lock of the Week for week 5 of the college football season. First, some administrative business. I've decided to forego the weekly Mad Money post. Ryan made a good point when he asked where these teams could be bought and sold. Instead, I will add the Upset Alert to the Lock of the Week post. Now, the Lock of the Week.

Michigan State at Wisconsin (-7.5)

This will be a classic Big 10 slugfest with the victory going to the team that wants to lose the least. I don't know if the Spartans can pull off the win at Camp Randall Stadium, but they will keep it within a touchdown.

Season Record: 3-1

Upset Alert:
Penn State at Illinois

And I don't care what any of ya'll say about the Baconator. It is the best fast food burger around. Hands down.

East Downtown

The City Council shored up $57 million in funds to expand the downtown district out to the Truman Parkway. On tap: 6 new squares and a renovated President St.

But what about the Hitch?

Best Fast Food Burger Ever

Wendy's, a fast food restaurant constantly searching for an identity, has struck gold with its newest menu item. The Baconator is the greatest fast food hamburger ever produced.















Seen above in its actual form, the Baconator does not pretend to be anything it's not. What you see is what you get: 830 calories and 51 grams of fat. No fancy condiments like lettuce, tomatoes or onions. Just bacon, cheese, ketchup and mayonaise, the way a burger was meant to be. And there are no oversized buns to make it appear bigger than it actually is. This thing is all meat, baby. If John Holmes were alive today, this would be his burger.

Adding to the magnificence of this meat marvel is the witty ad campaign that uses personification to give the Baconator a beast-like quality. Taglines such as Careful, it can sense fear and Order it before it orders you conjure up images of a werewolf with a chainsaw for a dick (I stole that from EDSBS, but you get the point). So, if you have yet to experience the Baconator, do yourself a favor and drop what you're doing right now and go get one. It will change your life.

Let's Not Forget

In the midst of the glorious play which follows this, I completely forgot about these comments. It's either the most inappropriately timed and asinine commentary I've ever heard, or the work of an undercover brilliant comedian.

Stan Mikita's Doughnuts

The owner of the Chicago Blackhawks died today, and the very first thing I thought of after reading this was to check the Blackhawks message board. I wanted to see how honest the fans would be in their reactions, because the owner, William Wirtz, was pretty much hated intensely by the Blackhawk fans for various reasons. He was notoriously stingy when it came to free agents and refused to show the home games on TV, for example.

The first place I went was the offical board, but I was very disappointed with the amount of "my prayers are with his family" and "sorry to hear about his family's loss." I then went to the ESPN board and was given some keen insight into a hockey fan's mind. I really love this:

"Screw Wirtz I hope he burns in hell. The way he wrecked this franchise not to mention the NHL in general. Now maybe the Hawks can come back to the top as a franchise in the Chicago area. People in this city used to love hockey and loved the Hawks but with Wirtz around they finally gave up. Now maybe the fans can come back and this ONCE PROUD orginization can regain its foothold in the hearts of Chicago's fans. Ding dong the witch is dead!"

Re: " wow, i was coming here to post my feelings on this but this post is exactly word for word what i was going to say. I couldn't agree more. Good riddance and I hope he suffers for eternity in he!! for what he did to the Hawks."

Smile.

These kids are everywhere on SavannahNow. I just thought'd I'd bring them over here so I could see them whenever I want.

Remember: Pixels.SavannahNow.com offers unlimited free photo space to share your pictures with other nosy lowlifes who aren't on Myspace or Facebook yet.

You Got Listserved 9/21/07

Does anyone know anything about the wreck that happened on the bypass
yesterday sometime around 5:20 or so? It was just a little before the
Timothy Rd. exit. It was very disturbing to see and I know someone's
family will need prayers. Thanks, BP.

I have to comment on this. It's such garbage when people try to pass off their complete nosiness as if they're actually concerned, and even worse when they hide it behind religion. The family doesn't need your prayers or your special VIP connection you have with Jesus. You only wanted to satisfy your own selfish curiosity.

Headline of the Year

This guy reminds me of the Black Knight in Monty Python.

Snuffy's Lock of the Week: Week 4

Hey ya'll. Snuffy P. Smith here with your Lock of the Week for week 4 of the college football season.

Penn State (-3) @ Michigan



Michigan has finally awoken from its slumber after demolishing Notre Dame. This is Penn State's first game away from home and the first competent opponent the Nittany Lions have played this year. Anthony Morelli throws a couple pics and Michigan wins by a TD.

Season Record: 2-1

Herndon Interview Tomorrow Tonight

Be sure to tune to BC Sports Radio tomorrow tonight at 9pm to hear Coach Herndon answer questions about the team and its recent successes. Special thanks to Buddy Garrity O.C. Welch for sponsoring BC Sports Radio.

Mad Money With Snuffy P. Smith: Week 4

BUY

Florida 3-0
Last Week: W 59-20 vs. Tennessee
I have been skeptical of Tim Tebow up until this point. He is for real and the Urban Meyer has the Gators primed for another run at the national championship. Florida will travel to Baton Rouge on Oct. 6th in what will easily be the game of the year. These teams will play each other again in Atlanta, so a loss in October will not hurt very much.

Michigan 1-2
Last Week: W 38-0 vs. Notre Dame
The Wolverines finally played up to their potential. I know Notre Dame sucks this year, but all Michigan needed was a shot in the arm. They will not lose again until they play Ohio State. Lloyd Carr's future will rest on the outcome of that game.

HOLD

Boston College 3-0
Last Week: W 24-10 at Georgia Tech
Matt Ryan is one of the best QBs in the nation, thanks in large part to an outstanding OL. The defense did shut down Tech, but I think the Jackets shut down themselves on offense. Tashard Choice, one of the best RBs in the nation, only carried the ball 11 times. BC will be 7-0 when they travel to Virginia Tech and will have to travel to Maryland and Clemson after that, not to mention a home date with Miami to end the regular season.

Kentucky 3-0
Last Week: W 40-34 vs. Louisville
The Wildcats have yet to face a comptent defense this season. With Arkansas, South Carolina, LSU, Florida, Georgia and Tennessee left on the schedule, Kentucky will be fortunate to win 6 games this year.

SELL

UCLA 2-1
Last Week: L 6-44 at Utah
The Bruins returned all 11 starters from a defense that shut down Southern Cal last year. Giving up 44 to Utah tells me their performance against the Trojans was a fluke. UCLA will probably upset a team or two and lose to a couple teams they shouldn't, en route to a low-level bowl game.

Wisconsin 3-0
Last Week: W 45-31 vs. The Citadel
The Badgers, like UCLA were supposed to be dark-horse national title contenders. However, Wisconsin has had two straight sub-par performances against UNLV and The Citadel and will likely finish 4th in the Big 10/11 behind Ohio State, Michigan and Penn State.

Halfway There

Snuffy's Lock of the Week: Week 3

Hey ya'll. Snuffy P. Smith here with your Lock of the Week for Week 3 of the college football season.

Hawaii (-17.5) @ UNLV

Last week, Hawaii struggled to outscore LA Tech, one of the worst offensive teams in the nation in 2006. Meanwhile, UNLV gave Wisconsin a run for its money. Also, away games are like cryptonite to the Warriors. Hawaii's lack of defense, coupled with their second consecutive trip to the mainland, means the Runnin' Rebels will keep this one close. I don't think UNLV will win, but they will stay within striking distance and beat the spread.

Season Record: 2-0

Mad Money with Snuffy P. Smith

Buy

LSU 2-0
Last Week: W 48-7 vs. Virginia Tech
I think the Hokies were a little overrated to begin with, but seriously, 48-7!?! The defense is downright nightmarish and Matt Flynn managing the offense to perfection. Florida, Auburn and Arkansas all come to Baton Rouge. The toughest road game is Nov. 3rd at Alabama. LSU should have no problem running the table during the regular season.

Oklahoma 2-0
Last Week: W 51-13 vs. Miami
Nobody expected the Sooners to come out of the gates this fast. After losing Adrian Peterson to the NFL and Rhett Bomar to dumb-ass decisions, it was supposed to take Oklahoma a few weeks to find an offensive identity. Sam Bradford apparently did not get the memo, completing 40-48 passes for 568 yards and 2 TDs the last two weeks. Texas looks to be the lone contender left on the schedule and the Longhorns have struggled early on.

Hold

Georgia Tech 2-0
Last Week: W 69-14 vs. Samford
The Jackets have looked fantastic against lesser competition in the opeing weeks of the season. The first real test comes Saturday against Boston College. The defense is for real and Tashard Choice is a legitimate Heisman contender, but how will Taylor Bennett hold up as the season wears on. He looked good last year against West Virginia, but Calvin Johnson saved his ass by snatching two lame duck throws out of the air for TDs. Against Notre Dame, Bennett did not appear comfotable and the offense sputtered in the red zone. Tech also faces a tough stretch coming up with BC at home, @ UVA, Clemson at home, @ Maryland and @ Miami.

South Florida 2-0
Last Week: W 26-23 @ Auburn
The win at Auburn is the biggest win in South Florida's short history. Even bigger than last year's upset of West Virginia. The defense is stacked and Matt Grothe is a good young talent at QB. However, the offense has lacked punch so far this season, only scoring 28 against D-1AA Elon and needing OT to score 26 against Auburn. The Bulls have been the "Georgia Tech of the Big East" the past few years, upsetting a big name and losing to inferior teams. The Big East appears to be strong this year and I think South Florida's offensive deficiency will catch up with them.

Sell

Notre Dame 0-2
Last Week: L 10-31 @ Penn State
The Irish have not put up much of a fight so far this season. Georgia Tech and Penn State are darkhorse national title contenders but the complete lack of offense is scary. The defense is solid but not strong enough to win a game by itself. The OL is absolutely awful. In two games, Notre Dame has totaled (-4) yards rushing, including sacks. There is no excuse for that. Notre Dame could easily be 0-8 when Navy visits South Bend in November, and even that won't be a gimmee. This weekend's game against Michigan will be very interesting.

Virginia Tech 1-1
Last Week: L 7-48 @ LSU
Teams that suffer through a tragedy usually come out on fire the following season. I figured Virginia Tech would do the same. Struggling with East Carolina and getting pummeled by LSU have me feeling VT will be fighting just to reach .500 this year.

Week 3 Upset Alert

Louisville @ Kentucky
The Cardinals' weakness, defense, plays right into the hands of the Wildcats' strength, offense.

Ohio State @ Washington
Blowing out Syracuse is no big deal, but dispensing of Boise St. by two TDs is. Dual QB threat Jake Locker has looked phenominal in his first two starts.

Week Two: BC vs. Jenkins

Jenkins may have its best team since a quarter-century ago when they were coached by a certain 1970 BC graduate. BC is much-improved and will be ready to play, but it simply won't matter unless the guy in the above picture somehow manages to catch an extreme form of that Jenkins venereal disease Colonel Owens used to warn us about between now and 7:30. The Warriors demolished Bluffton last week and should have no trouble finishing 2nd in the region behind Camden.

Prediction:

Jenkins - 42
BC - 27

While this matchup has no effect on AAA standings, an upset would get people talking like they haven't in quite a while.

Snuffy's Lock of the Week

Hey ya'll. Snuffy P. Smith here with your Lock of the Week for Week 2 of the college football season.

Alabama (-4) @ Vanderbilt

I know Vandy has a lot back from last year and they clobbered Richmond in their opener, but seriously, this is Vandy. The Commodores will likely pull a small upset at some point this season, but it won't be against Nick Saban and Alabama. The Tide rolls by at least 10 points.

Season Record: 1-0

"Modern and Contemporary"

Looks like BC Gottum is slacking ass over there. Post your opinion on BC's new jerseys.

You Got Listserved 9/6/07

"Hello, There are departments on campus that has nice t-shirts. Where did you order yours from? Thanks"

Firstname Lastname
Institute of Behavioral Research
Graduate Studies

It's official....

Fred is in

Definition of Cracker

I found the following post over at EDSBS, which is the best college football blog ever created. I cannot stress this enough. If you don't know, the picture is of South Carolina QB Blake Mitchell.











It is mandatory that as an SEC fan, there will be one redneck ne’er-do-well at qb in your conference each year. He shall think the shotgun is named after a beer drinking technique; he shall list his interests on Facebook as “getting hammered,” and “tracking poonasaurus heh heh heh.” He shall step heartily into throws doomed from the first twitch of the eyeball toward the receiver. He shall vomit in public with great frequency and productivity, shocking even circus freaks with their ability to shoot liquid in gouts from his gullet. He shall, from time to time, drive into stationary objects with his or someone else’s car.

In a greater time, men like this were nicknamed “Snake,” “Red,” “Brett Favre,” or “Redsnake.” Now we just call him cracker-ass crackah Blake Mitchell, a walking Saltine of a man, so crackered out is he, who will be the starter at Georgia on Saturday when South Carolina comes to Athens.

Soft Rock God

How many times did we ride this?

Chris, Ryan, and Joe:

From TheStar.com

Hello, McFly, your ride's over
Sep 04, 2007 04:30 AM

The Back to the Future ride is heading into the past.
The Universal Studios Hollywood ride based on the movies with Canadian actor Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd was taking its final passengers yesterday
It's closing to make room for a new Simpsons attraction.
Back to the Future – The Ride was the theme park's first high-tech thrill ride. It opened in 1993.
For their trip, passengers were strapped into a carriage modelled after the film's DeLorean time machine to ride in front of a film projected on a domed screen, which gave the illusion of flight.
The new Simpsons ride is scheduled to debut next year.

Dragon*CON!!!

This labor day weekend is Dragon*Con in Atlanta. Dragon*Con is America's largest, multi-media, popular arts convention focusing on science fiction and fantasy, gaming, comics, literature, art, music, and film. I am not downtown anymore, but my wife has given me updates on the totally sweet gamers. The point is: I am tired of people saying that "we'll be working for these people one day." We were always told that the nerds will be running the world, but I am of the opinion only a couple of nerds (Steve Jobs and Bill Gates) are really doing that well. The rest are in Atlanta dressed up like Harry Potter or Star Wars or Lord of the Rings.

Camp Michael McDonald

Coverage You Can Count On: BC vs. Windsor

Tonight BC opens up with Windsor Forest. Due to absences among our contributors (in addition to a general lack of anything better to do), I will be posting score updates every half-hour in the comments section.

You can find tonight's scouting report here. The teams are about evenly-matched so we should be able to tell a lot more about just how much BC has improved this past year. The game also presents a unique opportunity for the new headmaster to demonstrate he's ready to resurrect the Father John era by canceling school tomorrow should the Cadets emerge victorious.

Kickoff is slated for 7:30pm, Eastern Sandfly Time.

Katrina Revisited, Again

Just how much money has Big Brother thrown at New Orleans in the last 2 years? The White House says somewhere around $127 billion. If we divided that up among the 300,000 citizens of New Orleans, that would come out to $425,000 per person. The Big Easy is awash in federal dollars, yet it remains a concrete jungle. Poverty and crime rates are still among the highest in the country. Entitlement spending is out of control and is only serving to deepen the already entrenched problems that plagued New Orleans and Louisiana before the hurricane.

Larry Kudlow has a superb article on all of this and more over at Real Clear Politics. Read it. All of it.

Katrina highlights how Bush's repeated failures continue to discredit the irrational and defective nature of his governing strategy of "compassionate conservatism," which from day one we knew was a recipe for disaster. Hopefully a Romney, Guiliani, or Thompson will have enough sense to abandon this flawed ideology and replace it with the libertarian conservatism of Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan.

Edwards: Americans must give up their SUV's

John Edwards gave a speech yesterday asking Americans to "give up their SUVs" for the good of the country. This photo of Edward's new 3.1 million dollar mansion, surrounded by SUVs, has surfaced on the internet in response. The "champion" of the poor's new residence has been described as follows:

The $3.1 million ritzy pad sports 10 rooms, 61/2 baths, two garages, a huge country kitchen with hardwood floors, and sweeping verandas to soak in the view of the verdant pasture.

Two other residences - one for 22-year-old daughter Cate and one for visiting friends and family - are already under way, according to Orange County, N.C., property records. A two-story, 6,366-square-foot mini-mansion is about 70 percent complete.

The $570,000 house will have two bedrooms, four bathrooms and a fireplace. A smaller, $193,000 building with 2,817 feet of space is about 95 percent complete. Edwards is also building a $30,000 pool house.

A "recreational building" is slated to be built on the property in the future.

This is one of many reasons I despise Edwards: the sheer hypocrisy that surrounds him and his left-wing economic populism. Edwards' philosophy, that it's only okay to make money if it involves suing doctors for hundreds of millions of dollars through junk science lawsuits, is convenient for him because it drives up insurance premiums and medical costs, which creates yet another issue for him to turn around and blame conservatives for.

As a conservative, I want you to make as much money as you can. I want you to have the freedom to buy as many damn SUVs as you please and as many swimming pools as you want. This country was founded on the basis that we as individuals should have the freedom to plan and live our own lives, not surrendering our decision-making to a small intellectual elite in a far-distant capital. There is no hypocrisy here.

Unfortunately, in the '08 debates, I doubt very seriously we're going to hear any serious discussion over things like what the role of government should be, whether governments or markets solve problems better, whether the federal government is too big or too small, etc. And this is the main reason why I think we're going to lose.

(HT: Professor Bainbridge)

'Bama Bound.

Well, it looks like the office at BMBS will be almost completely empty this weekend. I will also be out taking in some long awaited college football madness. My first stop this year is Auburn, AL to watch the Tigers (or War Eagles?) take on Kansas State. I'm not really a big fan of either team, but I will be supporting Auburn in this match-up because they're an SEC team and I don't want to get tobacco juice spit on me.

Have a good weekend. No Gems this week.

BMBS Takes Chicago

Several BMBS bloggers will be heading to the Windy City tonight for a weekend chock-full of yuppie debauchery. Our base camp will be in the "Little Vietnam" section of Chicago. Activities include the Navy Pier, Chicago hotdogs, deepdish pizza, Cubs day game, Notre Dame vs. Georgia Tech, and everything Ferris Bueller did on his day off.

A Day in the Life

This is a conversation I had online with a friend of ours today:

Friend: hey, listen to my day so far
me: ok
Friend: 1. I tripped and fell while running at 6 am this morning. I have many scapes and cuts
2. While I was getting into my car, a pigeon flew over me, and crapped on my head. no joke. I had to go back inside to wash the poo out. I was then late to work
me: w o w
hahahahah
Friend: 3. When I got to work, i printed my e ticket from United Airlines for the flight to Chicago. I've now realize that I have booked the wrong returning flight. Now I have to change it... which will cost $100
me: whaaaaaaaaaaaa
me: Jesus
Friend: 4. I'm behind on all my work because of this vacation, and so will have to maybe work on Labor day
awesome
shoot me
Friend: oh yeah, and the dog that I'm dog sitting has crapped all in my room

Lock of the Week: Week 1

Hey ya'll. Snuffy P. Smith here to give you the Lock of the Week for Week 1 of the college football season.

Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame (-2.5)

The Yellow Jackets have just about everyone coming back from last season's ACC runner-up squad, while the Fightin' Irish have question marks all over the depth chart. Tashard Choice's number will be called early and often as Tech utilizes their experienced O-Line to dominate the trenches.

Charlie Weis will try to establish the ground game in order to take pressure off his new QB. Tech's superior D-Line will exploit ND's inexperience on the offensive line as well, forcing the Irish into passing situations where Tenuta's blitz mastery will come into play. Of ND's three possible QB candidates, Demetrius Jones presents the only threat to the Jackets. Tech's D-Line and LBs will feast on a pocket passer but a QB with legs might cause some problems.

Prediction: Take Tech, not only to cover, but to win. The only reason Notre Dame is favored is because the game is in South Bend. I also predict that Notre Dame will come sport the green jerseys against Tech. Why? I just have a hunch.

Prepare For Glory

I know it's more like a Date Night T-shirt thing to do, but I was thinking that a 300 theme would be timely and appropriate for a Homecoming shirt this year. Leave "Prepare For Glory," use it as the main theme/motto, change "300" to "BC" or "Cadets," and then change the movie date to the Homecoming date. I'll probably get made fun of, but at least I'm trying.
Or we could go for the "edgier" version. Put a BC helmet on him or something. With either one you'd have to have someone good with Photoshop.

BC Football Calendar

Yes, I know this is pointless, but I'm excited about the season starting. I created a Google Calendar with all the dates and descriptions for the games. I also did this last year, but nobody had Gmail (and therefore, no Google Calendar) at the time. Even if you don't have Gmail (I should make some sort of Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy comment about that), you can still use the second link's format for any online calendar.

For Google Calendar
For Other Online Calendars
As a regular website

"Is it too early for flapjacks?"

Early Monday morning, Bill Murray was pulled over in downtown Stockholm, Sweden... in a golf cart. Apparently, the cart belonged to the hotel and Mr. Murray borrowed it to drive himself to a night club down the street. Police pulled him over on his way home and noticed he smelled of alcohol. The best part is that Mr. Murray refused to take a breathalyzer, citing American legislation. He was not arrested and was let go after signing a document stating that he was driving under the influence and would allow a police officer to plead guilty for him if his blood test came back over the legal limit. It is not illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden.

I'm suprised the police got the jump on him, what with their wooden shoes and all. They must have made an awful racket trying to keep up.

Bill Murray is the best.

You can read the full story here on FoxNews.com.

You Got Listserved 8/22/07

"Looking for any recommendations for a Counselor for teenagers, preferably a
Christian and someone who takes our HMO insurance."

An Afternoon Treat

Here are some of my favorite comments under the AJC topic: "Can Vick Redeem Himself?"

By jimmy

mike doesn’t have to do a thing. sometime over the next few months it will all come out that this was one big set-up and then all of you so called fans will be sorry that you don’t have mike as your qb.

By yes he can

Yes, he can. I will not change the way I view Vick. It is not like those things was done to humans. I think he should donate money to PETA buy them however many pitbills they said he killed. Lose his so call friends and family. Move forward with his life doing positive things. There are people out there that has done worst and have moved on to be better and positive people.

By Alicia

I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN about dogs over Vick. You will see that game time when you see empty seats. Thats is my opinion and I am sticking to it. I do not give a f**k. He will still play even after serving time. Sorry that disappoints you. I believe people make mistakes as I am sure you dumb azzes have. I don’t give a damn and there is nothing you can say.

MICHAEL VICK SUPPORTER

By chasity nicole

Come on redeem himself from what and to whom…who made dog lovers GOD…Get a life people..There is poverty…there are illness…there are homeless people…don’t we have real problems to be concerned with..what have you gained from this..nothing…taking a youngs man life away from him…what a red neck society….

By Vick Fan

I don’t see people rallying around and protesting for the families of those who get mauled and killed by the same dogs Michael Vick is accused of killing.

By Georgia Peach to the Bone.

The person that said ” they hope he gets what he deserves in prison” needs to shut up. You do not know what all the circumstances are behind him pleading guilty. If yoiu were in his shoes and your so called buddies turned states witness on you, you would have no other choice but to plead guilty too. Think about it, MIKE VICK was the FALCONS. I don’t care no ones says all of you know it, the falcons are nothing without VICK.

By hoothoo of KC

Vick if you read these comments I would like to say “yes! I’m dissappointed in the fact that you have been made to tell the truth.” But I support you still because you have a lot of people judging you when they couldn’t walk 2 feet in your shoes.

By Sunshyne

I guess no one noticed that Arthur Blank and Rich McKay had just come from an African Safari… ISN’T THAT HUNTING AND KILLING ANIMALS??

By Nisha

He can redeem himself in the eyes of his family and GOD. He doesn’t owe his fans anything but a good game. For all of you who say he should be banned from football, What does Dog Fighting Have To Do With Football. When he serve his time the slate should be wiped clean. Remember he is very talanted. If he is banned from football he can play MLB.

Ookie officially going to the pokie....

Watch out for your cornhole...

Say "AHLALALALALALALALA!!"

Stolen from Boortz.

Vox Populi: Gems of the Week

Dishonorable Mention:
"Ricky Carmichael won his 150th professional motocross race - Give the man credit where credit is due."
- And you know what? No one cares.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Wonderful adult ballet classes are available at Islands Dance Academy at 115 Charlotte Road on Whitemarsh Island."
- Yeah, come on over and put on tights and prance around to music that people only pretend to like.

Dishonorable Mention:
"How sad to go by Grayson Stadium and see a hole where the outfield bleachers were. They could have been restored."
- What would be the point of restoring them? I’ll bet it’s been forty years since someone sat over there. The government doesn’t need suggestions of ways to waste taxpayers’ money; they’ve got plenty ideas of their own.

Dishonorable Mention:
"Regarding El Cheapo, keep the logo but change the name to "Not Quiteo as Cheapo as El Wal Marto."
- Give yourself a big pat on the back for that one.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I had eight Coy die in my fish pond after they sprayed for mosquitoes. It may not be related, but I was just wondering if anyone else had a similar situation."
- It’s spelled Koi. I don’t know if this was the contributor’s error or the editor’s. No culture.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I don't know why Savannah has a city council. The rich on Skidaway Island decides where and how the money will be spent. The bridge will take priority over everything else and Truman Parkway will be last, and years away from now."
- Skidaway Island is full of large, beautiful, and valuable homes. The more valuable a home is, the more the owner will pay in property taxes. I shudder to think of how much property tax is paid by Skidaway Island residents every year. I’ll bet we can afford to repair the bridge on their tax dollars alone. Cut them some slack.

Dishonorable Mention
"What is with the geese feces on the basketball courts at Lake Mayer? Could someone please clean it up so my chaps and I will have a decent place to play?"
- The geese feces come from the hundreds of geese that call Lake Mayer home. Why are you playing basketball in chaps anyway? Wouldn’t shorts be more practical?

First Runner-up:
"I wish the mayor and city aldermen would ride through the 800 block of East 32nd Street. The garbage needs to be picked up and the grass needs cutting."
- This one pretty much speaks for itself.

And your Gem of the Week:
"Three cheers to those who oppose the flat tax idea. This is just another scheme to take from the poor and give to the rich."
- It’s comments like these that make me hate doing the Gems.

Sid Slid

The professional guessers on ESPN have the Mets missing the playoffs altogether thanks to the newly crowned "most potent lineup in the National League", in Atlanta.

Bobby Cox should show this in the clubhouse before every game.

Race for the Prize

From ajc.com:

The early symptoms of pennant fever are being felt in Atlanta.

Suddenly, more people are watching Braves games on television – tens of thousands more, according to Nielsen Media Research – and talking baseball around the city's proverbial water coolers.

"It's a very noticeable change," said Buck Belue, a host on sports radio station 680 The Fan. "It almost had become ho-hum talking about the Braves, but now you've got a lot of people excited that this team could get into the playoffs and go to the World Series again."

The buzz began July 31, with trades for slugging first baseman Mark Teixeira and two relief pitchers, and has continued as the Braves have won three of four series since.

With the team 3-1/2 games behind the first-place New York Mets in the National League East, early-stage pennant fever could turn into a full-blown case if things go well during the six-game homestand that opens Tuesday night against San Francisco and new home-run king Barry Bonds.

"This is the most buzz around the team...in the last four years," said Derek Schiller, who monitors such things as the Braves' executive vice president of sales and marketing.

Perhaps amplifying the buzz is the contrast to the silence of last baseball season, the Braves' first since 1990 with a losing record, as well as the contrast to the subdued expectations for the approaching Falcons season with Michael Vick under federal indictment for dogfighting.

The strongest sign of pennant fever is the change in local TV viewership:

• Braves games televised on SportSouth and Fox Sports Net South have drawn an average Nielsen rating of 5.0 in metro Atlanta since July 31, up from 2.9 previously this season – an increase of 72 percent. That translates to an audience increase from an average of 64,000 per game before the Teixeira trade to 110,000 since.

• Games televised on TBS have drawn an average rating of 5.8 in metro Atlanta since July 31, up from 4.3 previously – a jump of 35 percent. That translates to an audience increase from an average of 95,000 to 128,000.

"Clearly, there is a spike in interest in the team," said Jeff Genthner, vice president and general manager of FSN South and SportSouth. "I think it's a function of the team investing in players like Teixeira to make a real run at the postseason. We've got a pennant race going."

Until the recent surge, the Braves' local television ratings were in a freefall. Last year, when the Braves' streak of 14 division titles ended, ratings dropped by about 30 percent on all networks carrying the games. In the first half of this season, they were down by another 30 percent on SportSouth and FSN South and 10 percent on TBS. Even with the recent surge, ratings remain below 2005 levels.

Attendance at Turner Field also increased after the Teixeira trade, although that could be partly coincidental – attendance often spikes just before schools reopen. The Braves have played six home games since the trade, averaging 37,329, about 4,000 more than previously.

Observers offer several reasons for the buzz about the Braves: a renewed appreciation for a pennant race after the team finished 18 games out of first place last year; a hunger for good news from a local sports team after the avalanche of bad news from the Falcons; and the "we're-going-for-it" message sent by the deadline deals for Teixeira and relief pitchers Ron Mahay and Octavio Dotel.

"I definitely think people had gotten to the point [before last season] where they would take the playoffs for granted," said Patrick Glory, 24, of Newnan, a lifelong Braves fan who co-hosts a podcast on new fan site Bravescast.com. "I think [enthusiasm about the Braves] is a combination of not making the playoffs last year, plus all the new people – Teixeira, [outfielder] Willie Harris, [infielder] Yunel Escobar."

The buzz extends beyond the fans, team president Terry McGuirk said recently.

"Not in my recent memory have I seen the general manager, the manager, the players, the national media and the fans as excited as they are," he said.

"Regressives"

Excellent article in the Pittsburgh Tribune last week.

Vox Populi: Gems of the whatever

I’ve accumulated these over the past few weeks. Reading dumb comments like these day in and day out has made me jaded with the idea of almost rewarding these morons for being dumber or more annoying than their fellow contributors. Here they are, your Gems of the whatever.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I just returned from vacation and learned how to Salsa dance. Is there a place here in Savannah where people could go and just have a fun time with their friends and dance?"
- Good for you. Now you can go to the ONE Salsa bar in town… if it’s still open.

Dishonorable Mention:
"For those fussing about Tybee moving the fireworks and decided to protest against it by not going, thank you. It made it that much nicer without the traffic jams and less parking issues for those of us loyal Tybee-goers and homeowners."
- Verb tense agreement: look it up.

Dishonorable Mention
"Michael Vick should be put in a pen and boxed until he falls down, and he should be given the death penalty."
- That’s a bit harsh. I’d settle for jail time and a permanent suspension or trade to the Arena Football League. Chin up, Ookie, there’s always pro wrestling.

Dishonorable Mention:
"I am so tired of seeing millionaires and billionaires get richer and we still have so many uninsured children in this country. Keep PeachCare. Make it better. People who do not need Social Security should quit taking it. Hooray for people like Bill Gates, but unfortunately most rich people aren't like him."
- If those “millionaires and billionaires” could make money by providing affordable health insurance to families, they’d be doing it. However, the same people who mandate and provide such programs as PeachCare and Social Security have created so much needless regulation that it’s impossible for private entities to provide affordable service. Mind-blowing stuff, isn’t it?

First Runner-up:
"I'm from Florida where the water is clear and the sand is beautiful. After six years of living in Savannah and hearing constant complaints, I took visiting friends to Tybee. I didn't see cigarette butts or trash while on the beach. It will never beat Florida beaches, but it isn't the landfill residents claim that it is, either."
- Thank you for your backhanded compliment of Tybee and your shameless plug for Florida beaches.

And your Gem of the Whatever:
"Farmers, would you like some cheese to go with your whine?"
- You are the worst kind of person.

You Got Listserved 8/10/07

After this particular email I received today, I realized how many ridiculous emails I get being on two different listservs for the University. If you've never had the displeasure of being on a listserv, it's just an email list that you're required to be a part of in order to receive announcements, but it's ripe for abuse by bored office drones desperately trying to be heard for once in their life. The two I am on are both basically the same thing - other UGA staff members complaining about anything and everything. So maybe if I can think to keep doing it, I'll post some more in the future.

Subject: "new watering schedule"

Today must be the University's day for watering. I saw a man at the stadium watering the bleachers. I don't see why I can't water my plants, that desperately need it, when the stadium isn't even alive. I know that they want to start the season off right, without any vomit on the seats, but really...

The Harrington Era

Obviously, I know as much about football as I do about tariffs and free trade. But it doesn't take a genius to know what a loser, in every sense, that Michael Vick is. Here are some cute statistics:

Total record as a starter (regular season): 38-28-1 (.575)
Total record as a starter (playoffs): 2-2 (.500)
Total record against playoffs-qualified teams (regular season): 4-19-1 (.173)

Wins:
Of his 38 wins during regular season:
34 were against teams not going to playoffs
4 were against teams going to playoffs

Records when trailing:
Career record when trailing at halftime as starter: 5-21-1
Career record when trailing at the end of 3rd quarter: 3-25-1

I'm sure Joey Harrington's numbers are worse, but there's no ridiculous pretense in how Harrington is perceived as an athlete like there is with Vick. So I'd like for you guys to join me in rooting for a very specific goal this year. In 2005, Vick led the team to an 8-8 record, and last year to a 7-9 record. For this season, I will root hard for Harrington to get 8 wins - no more, no less. As much crap as this guy gets, it would be irrefutable evidence that Vick is truly overrated and unnecessary. In fact, I will throw a big party if Joey Harrington reaches 8 wins. And by big party I mean Pat, since he's the only one who lives in Athens.

The Gathering Storm

Anyone who's been keeping up with politics lately knows the new Congress has all but declared a trade war on China. A storm of protectionism is gathering on Capitol Hill, and if enacted, this proposed legislation will deal a severe blow to the current economic expansion we've been enjoying the last 6 years.

The argument from the labor-backed Left is of course that higher trade barriers with China must be enacted because the Chinese government artificially undervalues its currency by something like 40%. They're not "playing by the rules" and so the trade is simply "not fair." "We want free trade, but on a level playing field," Pelosi & Co. quip. These kinds of statements are so chock-full of economic fallacy it's impossible to know where to start.

First of all, I'm not sure if the 40% figure is true, but let's go ahead and assume it is. In fact, let's take it even further and say they undervalue their currency by 100%. Hell, let's just go ahead and pretend their government fully subsidizes all Chinese factories, allowing them to sell their products to American consumers free of charge.

If someone gives you a gift, why turn it down? If you got a Playstation 3 for Christmas, would you refuse to accept it and complain to your parents that its "unfair" and that you'd rather them take it back so you can instead pay $300 for one? CNN commentators and hundreds of politicians are constantly bashing China, when in reality they should be thanking them and their taxpayers for propping up industries that are essentially giving away cheap goods to us. This frees up extra money that we as Americans can invest or spend on other things we otherwise wouldn't be able to, thus allowing more profitable ventures to be pursued and better jobs to be created.

So why are all these folks seeing things so backwards? What makes their claims so irrational? Is it because they're misinformed? Maybe; probably some of them are (hippies, college kids, WTO protestors, etc.). But the true force behind this movement know full well what is really going on: the high-paid lobbyists for big business and labor unions. This brings out a point well-worth mentioning: being in favor of free trade and being pro-"big business" are not the same thing; in fact, they usually mean the exact opposite, as the biggest threat to capitalism is not the interests of the poor (quite the contrary, as they are the ones that have by far the most to gain from capitalism), but is instead the interests of big business and labor unions who are in bed with the government and its regulators.

I find it humorous that self-proclaimed "progressives," who claim they're out to help the poor, are so hell-bent on abolishing free and voluntary exchange with poor countries and replacing it with the misnomered policy of "fair" trade, which is basically codeword for "we'll only trade with you if you're rich enough to afford First World environmental standards and working conditions."

756*

It's official. Fathead is the new homerun recordholder. The chase is finally over. I'm fairly certain that nobody outside of San Francisco genuinely cares about this achievement except that it means we won't have to hear about it any more.

I'll keep this editorial brutally short: Barry Bonds is a cheater, a liar, and he's an asshole to boot. I chose this picture because this is what I think of when I hear his name. Not him standing at the plate belting BALCO bombs into the cove; no, I picture him and his fat melon in front of a microphone speaking out in defiance of the truth.

It may not go down in the record books, but that asterisk will always be there in my mind.

Rebuttal

Tears for Fears responsible for the greatest 15 seconds in pop music history? I just hope these guys got a spot on the list somewhere.


The "15 seconds" would be the first few measures of this song, which was their first hit in the Spring of 1963 and which would change music for at least 1,000 years.

Totally

It occurred to me last week that whenever any of us are hanging out, you know, like in real life, that 64% of the time this blog comes up in conversation. I'm pretty sure that it's been around so long that no one even bats an eye at the word "blog" being used completely free of irony in a group that normally would rip such a term apart. And I'm sure everyone has had at least one occurrence where two blog members are discussing BMBS, when an outsider asks what you're talking about and you try to make it sound a lot cooler than it is. This can be embarrassing.

Well, why don't we own the embarrassment? Much as minorities now call themselves the same words that are meant to be insults when said by other ethnic groups.

See, I noticed that BMBS is really "bombs" without the O. And in the text message culture we live in, where everything is abbreviated as much as possible, I personally think it would be funny to refer to the blog as "Bombs" when out in a bar, tailgate, or wherever else. "Ryan, that is so f____ ___." Yeah, I know. That's the point. See, then we own the embarrassment of talking about an internet weblog out loud in a social setting.

I look forward to the comments for this one, fellow Bombers.

The Greatest 15 Seconds in Pop Music History

I firmly believe that the 15-second section of this one particular song is unbeatable on every level:

Tears for Fears - "Head Over Heels"
Begins at 1:25, ends at 1:40

It comes at the end of the first chorus, where he sings, "Don't take my heart, don't break my heart, don't, don't, don't throw it away." A new synthesizer line drops in and in a falsetto he sings, "Throw it away," a break, then "Throw it away" one more time before the second verse. He never does this again in the song.

Please challenge this with another 15 seconds of a pop song. Oh, and in advance: fake, silly answers are never funny in any context, ever. Just watch Letterman's Top 10 for proof.

Another reason to vote Fred...

Holy Crap

I am thieving this from Deadspin, but I think rightfully so. You have to watch this. How this guy gets up from this is really inexplicable.

Rick Schwarz Voicemail Archive Grab Bag

August 7th, 2006, 2:37 am:

"P, this is my fault. I'm sorry. I act up everything. But let me tell you something...I'm ready to rock and roll with you. Whatever you need, whatever you need, I'm ready to go with you. Whatever emotional support you need, I promise, I won't let you down."

To this day, I still have no idea what Rick is apologizing for.

The Greatest Action Movie Ever Made.

That's right, I said it. And I said it with confidence because this movie ousted my previous champion, Terminator 2.

Everything about this film was excellent. The action sequences were tight, seamless, and well paced. The parts in between were filled with interesting, natural and coherent dialogue. Comic relief is essential to a good action film and Transformers delivers with jokes and gags that are neither forced nor contrived. The love story between Sam and Mikaela is subtly woven into the story and not the focal point of it. As a bonus, Mikaela is played by the SMOKING hot Megan Fox. There was really no need for them to cast such a hottie, but that's icing on the cake.

Ironically enough, Transformers doesn't try to be something it's not. This is a movie about cars that turn into walking, talking, fighting robots. This film was made purely for the enjoyment of the viewers, which is what one would expect from a Bay-Spielberg combo.

In closing, I'd just like to reiterate that this is the best action movie ever made. If you haven't seen it, do youself a favor and go see it. If you have, go see it again. I know I will.

Fact.

The most overlooked and underrated development in American life from the past 5 years is the widespread switch to tagless T-shirts. Discuss.

Countdown to Windsor

Fellow Cadet fans, please take a moment of your time to visit BC Gottum and answer Will's latest poll question: How do you think the Cadets will fare in 2007?

Jamie Coleman

If you haven't heard, Jamie Coleman died last week. I hadn't seen her since high school, and it's weird for me to realize I had no idea what she had been doing for the last six years. I think it's safe to say that all of us who knew her or hung out with her made some really mean jokes from time to time behind her back, even sometimes directly to her. You could chalk it up to guys being guys, going for the shock value of saying something really mean to get a rise.

Yeah, it's convenient to say that what we said was wrong now that she's gone, but as I think about her for the first time in years, I realize she deserved better. She was actually one of the few girls who really got the BC sense of humor. She didn't take herself too seriously and was always excited about hanging out with us. I took her for granted back then; she really was one of the most fun girls to hang out with.

Here is the article about her death from the AJC:

Freak accident kills woman
Door pins her against the car

By Ken Sugiura
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/27/07

Thousands of metro Atlantans return home every day by waving or placing a plastic card against an electronic reader to open a gate to their apartment complex.

Early Thursday morning, that simple act led to the death of a Gwinnett County woman, police said.

According to a police report, Jamie Melissa Coleman, 24, pulled up to the gated Holland Park apartment complex in the Lawrenceville area around 2 a.m. in her 2003 Volkswagen Passat. Apparently unable to reach the card reader, she opened her door and leaned out.

In the process, the car rolled forward, bumping against a concrete post protecting the brick-encased card reader housing. The post pushed the car door back, pinning Coleman against the car. The report said she died of asphyxiation. Police say alcohol might have been a contributing factor.

Coleman grew up in Savannah, graduated from Georgia Southern University with a business degree and was a manager at a Mellow Mushroom restaurant, said her father, David Coleman, of Savannah. He said his daughter always smiled and was a lover of animals. Coleman owned a mixed-breed dog, Layla, that she rescued from a pound, and three parrots. David Coleman said his daughter's death "tears a piece of you out."

The strange circumstances of her death, he said, was "just hard to believe. Not that it makes it any easier, but that particular way, it's tough."

Gwinnett Police spokesman Darren Moloney and Bob Dallas, director of the Governor's Office of Highway Safety, said they had never heard of such a fatality.

"It was pretty horrible," Moloney said. "What can you say? It was an accident."

Another Holland Park resident pulled in after Coleman and found her slumped toward the ground. Phil Gelman, 20, at first thought she was reaching for her card on the ground, but after about two minutes, he got out of his car and found her not moving or breathing. Gelman said he called 911, put the car in reverse and pulled Coleman out of the car to perform CPR when police arrived. Coleman was declared dead at the scene.

"It's just crazy to die like that," Gelman said.

Two Holland Park residents said the posts surrounding the card readers can make it difficult to pull up close enough to reach them without getting out of the car or leaning far out of the window.

It's Spelled "Teixeira"

The Braves just acquired first baseman Mark Teixeira from the Texas Rangers in exchange for Jarrod Saltalamacchia. There were other players involved with the trade, but that's not important. I could include his stats, but all you need to know is Tex will make our offense one of the best in baseball. If the pitching can hold its place, our lineup will be a run-scoring giant, hopefully enough to make up for any pitching mishaps for the most part.

This is the big trade of 2007. The Braves are pretty much in the playoffs now. It's in writing.

Kickass Reagan Quote, #5,422

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"

Yeah...

I think my picture wins as far as homoerotisism goes.

38 days....

Triumph in Quebec

Joe and Chris, this is the clip I was telling ya'll about. This aired a few years ago when Conan did a show in Montreal. The Canadian Parliament made a huge fuss over it and demanded an apology from Conan.

45 more days...

Courtesy of www.edsbs.com. Heterosexual men should read it daily.

Falcons/Braves Report

I. Read Mike Vick's indictment; it spells out what a disgusting piece of trash he really is.

Highlights:
1. Vick and his 3 co-defendants "rolled" or "tested" animals to judge their fighting ability. If they were deemed weak, they were either: 1) shot, 2) electrocuted, or 3) beaten to death.
2. "Rape stands" and various other devices were found on his property. These instruments are used to force aggressive females into submission for breeding purposes.

What a moron. Coincidentally, former co-MVP Daunte Culpepper was finally released by Dolphins yesterday. He is available and is a MUCH better fit for our offense. Prognosticators already have him in Atlanta.

II. I stumbled on this Braves blog while looking at AJC.com. It's pretty funny stuff. It's a series of pages dedicated to Chris Reitsma (for blowing all those saves the past two years), Mike Hampton (for 3 years of no starts and a $14.5 million salary), Chipper Jones (injuries), and Jarrod Saltalamacchia (it's called startsalty.com).

Smoltz is off the DL and starting today against the Reds. Hopefully he can help salvage one game out of the series.

Trade rumors: In an effort to shore up first base, the Braves have apparently been talking to the Washington Nationals about acquiring all star Dmitri Young. Also included in the discussion is Reds 1st baseman Scott Hatteberg. Either acquisition would solidify the infield and greatly improve the lineup. BUT is Salty the better long term option at first? Yes. For this season, though, it's better to platoon him at first and catcher and use him off of the bench (we have a pathetic bench). That way he's in the game pretty much everyday and all of our immediate needs are addressed.

Also rumored to be on the trading block (by me, Ryan, and nobody else) is Dontrelle Willis. Buddy Carlyle and Chuck James have proven to be valuable starters in the #3 and #4 spots, respectively, but we need to solidify the 5th spot if we want to get into the postseason. Florida deals its talent each year that it finds itself out of the division/wild card race (read: all but the two World Series years), and we're sure that the D-Train wants to play in a bigger market. Good for him, good for us, good for the Marlins. 5th pick, 6th round. Lock it up. Championship!

Advice for Women

We at BMBS are thankful that we are fortunate enough to enjoy a small but devoted female audience. It is to those readers that I give the following message with hopes that they'll pass it along to their friends.

I know many women out there like to date the "tough guys" or "bad boys." Maybe they think they can change these Neanderthals or maybe they just really like assholes. I don't know, but please be careful. Your tough guy lover may shoot you in the head from distance with a rifle or set you on fire.

Take care.

Vs. Charleston RiverDogs

I'll be in Savannah this weekend for the first time since St. Patrick's Day, so I insist that y'all show up at Saturday night's Sand Gnats game at 7:05 (of course). I know it's a lot to ask since the beer won't be $2, but really dig deep in your wallet and your heart to shell out that extra bit to support your hometown Mets on a non-Thirsty Thursday night. Let's sit in the syrupy thick humidity, get our backs stuck to the 80-year-old seats, and talk about funny stuff that happened in high school.

Gadget Corner: Apple iPhone

While I still enjoy doing the Gems, I want to delve into other areas of our blog and give myself a new column: Gadget Corner. Whenever a new must-have gadget comes out, I’ll give my unbiased and totally unqualified review of it. I say unqualified because I will never purchase or actually even use any of these gadgets. This brings us to Apple’s new iPhone.

Looking at iPhone, I’m a little uneasy. Where are the buttons? Why are there so many little pictures? Which end do I put to my mouth? Sure, it looks cool, but how do you use it? How do I call people? Can I play Snake?

I heard it plays music, too. Do I need headphones or do I just hold it to my head to listen? I hope I don’t have to hold it to my head, but if Atreyu or AFI are playing on it, I’ll do what it takes to hear them.

I also read a lot of people couldn’t get theirs activated. If I owned an iPhone, I’m sure I’d have this problem too. Either Apple or AT&T need to get it together. If I can’t turn on my iPhone, all I’m left with is an iPaperweight or an iWeapon.

I heard the internet doesn’t work well either. If you’re checking anything other than sports scores on your phone, you’re a nerd. Use your iPhone to pick up other nerd girls.

So, the iPhone has a lot of features, from what I understand. I still don’t think it’s enough. On future models, I’d like to see the following:
- cigarette lighter
- pocket knife
- Batman-style grappling hook kit
- taser

The iPhone is built as the ultimate portable multimedia tool, but why stop there? It can also be the premier hand-held crime fighting and self defense device. Apple could have partnered with Glock and made a superb device here, but they played it safe. Personally, I think they're missing out.

60 days until football...

SSL and I will be in South Bend paying a visit to touchdown Jesus.

Let Us Celebrate

I'm not as much of an internet badass as I thought I was. But, anyone else, feel free to continue.