Will's Not-So-Lock of the Week

Last Week: I don't even know why I continue to do this.

Record: 3-4

This Week's Lock:

USC -30
@
Washington

Ty Willingham: Molder of men and annual 31-point loser to SC. Trojans by 31.

Why is Africa Poor?

Econ professor Don Boudreaux sums it:

The people of Niger are poor not because that country is densely populated. (It's not: it's population density is nine persons per square kilometer.) They are poor not because of drought; not because they lack resources; not because Americans and Europeans are rich. They are poor because, for example, local regulations stipulate that companies must give all employees six weeks and two days of paid vacation a year. Not surprisingly, there are almost no employers in Niger.

Commerce is the foundation of civilization, the font of prosperity, and the key to peace. Niger's government -- either because of foolishness or evilness (take your pick) -- squashes commerce in that country. No amount of aid, mosquito nets, op-eds by Sachs, or serenading of Bono and Paul McCartney will do Nigeriens any good until commerce is allowed to flourish there.

Amen. Let's go out and vote for Hilary Clinton in three years and make America the next Niger.

Rumblings From Mordor

A new force is rising in the Middle Earth that is west Chatham County. Savannah Christian has unveiled the master plan for its Chatham Parkway campus, beginning with the construction of a new state-of-the-art athletic center. Other projects include a new high school and lower school, with the middle school moving from DeRenne Ave. to the current high school.



















This is obviously of major concern to the BMBS nation. For years, BC has been able to raid Savannah Christian for a large amount of students, including many good athletes and all-around elitist assholes. In the future, the Lee McCurry's of Savannah might choose to stay at Savannah Christian. Also, public school kids that are tired of being thugs and Country Day kids that are tired of being fags might view SCPS as a better opportunity than BC. The Raiders have raised the ante. It's up to the two towers of Bobby and Tommy Cannon and the rest of the fellowship of the ring to ensure that BC remains the king.

Habemus Bondam

This guy (Daniel Craig) will be the new James Bond. As you may know, I’m a huge fan of the Bond series, especially the Sean Connery films and the first three Pierce Brosnan ones. The last Bond flick, however, was one of the worst movies of all time. With “Die Another Day,” the writers/directors said it was time to “bring James up speed with the 21st century,” whatever that means. So they “modernized” the series (always a bad idea) with Matrix-like camera angles, ridiculous, off-the-wall, cartoon-like special effects, and interracial love scenes that made even Lenox Square Mall jealous. This was the writers' way of saying “hey, it’s 2002, and we’re in the real world now, deal with it." There are a million other things I hated about the movie, particularly all the precedent it breaks with from the past 20 films in attempt to be “creative” (which it fails miserably in doing), but I won’t waste your time here.

Long story short: this is a free country. If you want to see the Matrix, then go watch the Matrix for Christ’s sake. If you want to watch Vin Diesel and Triple Z or whatever, then by God go out and rent Triple Z. But leave James Bond alone. The new film will be an adaptation of author Ian Fleming’s very first installation in the series, Casino Royale. Please don’t ruin a classic.

Name that Landmark

Yep, you guessed it, it's the Deschutes Fire Tower.

For you boys down at Southern...

There's yet another movement to pass a new flag for the State of Georgia.














The flag has been dubbed "The Prettiest Little Flag in the Country" by the man himself.

Will's Lock of the Week

Last Week: Sorry, Vandy. Some things never change.

Record: 3-3

This week's lock:

Bowling Green -23
@
Buffalo

Doug Weathers may not know how to spell Buffalo, but he could probably tell you that the Bulls are terrible. Through five games, Buffalo is averaging a mere 6 points per game. On the flip side, Bowling Green is one of the best offesive teams in the nation, racking up 43 points per game. You do the math. Bowling Green by 35.

Down For the Count

Wittle Mikey had too much to dwink wast night.

Will's Lock of the Week

How does Dave Wannstedt (sp?) keep getting work?

Record: 2-3

This Week's Lock:

LSU -15.5
@
Vanderbilt

There was a huge bandwagon crash in Nashville last weekend as Vandy reverted to their old ways and blew an opportunity to open the season at 5-0 for the first time since the Swingin' Medallions started playing rap songs. LSU is still pissed about losing to Tennessee, even after drubbing Miss. St. last weekend. LSU by 24.

Leonard Rules

Given the history of athletic prowess in our family, there's a good chance this guy is related to us.

Update from Waynesboro

Honestly, who cares about Brookwood-Parkview?

The Burke County Bears currently lead the Mustangs 14-0 at halftime. Listen live over the internet on South Effingham's flagship station.

I'll post a final score as soon as it's over.

My last post on Katrina.

It's been a while since the Louisiana local governments failed to take responsibility for their actions. Now its time to laugh about it. Go here... http://www.maconracers.org/forum/showthread.php?t=2615

Good stuff.

A Walk on the Supply Side

Democrats, like Bill Clinton, continue to come out of the woodwork and bash the Bush tax cuts. “I got a tax cut I didn’t even ask for, while millions of Americans are struggling just to get by.”

First of all, anyone that didn’t want their taxes cut can be my guest and send a personal check to the federal government in the amount of the difference they’re saved by the rate reductions. If you trust the government to spend your own money so wisely, go ahead and give your money back. Second of all, as a result of the rate reductions, which are giving people more incentives to save, work, and invest, federal revenues are higher than when Clinton left office. Third, entitlement spending on healthcare, welfare, and education has more than DOUBLED under Bush (source=www.omb.gov). Midway through Clinton’s term, the unemployment rate was 5.6% (September, ’95). Any guesses as to what it is right now in September of ‘05? 4.9% (source=bls.gov). So I’m confused, there’s more money in the treasury now, MUCH more of our tax dollars are going to the poor and to education, the black homeownership rate is at its highest level in history, the unemployment rate is lower than Clinton’s average, and yet "this is the worst economy since the Great Depression" - John Kerry, “George Bush hates black people” – Kanye West, and "Bill Clinton was the first black president” – Jesse Jackson. Is there any rationale for these kind of statements? Any actual real facts to back them up? Oh yeah, I forgot, there is one huge fact: George Bush has an “R” next to his name.

What else do black leaders want Bush to do? Do they want him to go to each black person's house in America individually, hug them and watch "Martin" with them? How many more dollars do they want us to throw at the problem?

Again, I'm no Bush cheerleader. There's a lot he's done that I disagree with (particularly the out of control spending, most recently illustrated by an FDR-like response to Katrina). But next time you see an Eminem video or hear John Kerry on CNN, remember that these people probably have no understanding of supply-side economics.

Stew's Lock of the Week

St. Paul's Lutheran School -8

@

Blessed Sacrament School

Don't expect the Lutherans to be as fiery as they were when the 95 Theses were nailed to Wittenburg Cathedral some years ago. This new program has yet to prove itself.
The Irish have at the helm a former tail back, one Tommy Butler. His tenure as AD has seen the rebuilding of a once declining program. Not only have the BSS boys for years fueled the machine that is BC, but they are playing in their own back yard... Daffin Park.
This Saturday's game at 10:00 a.m. is to be a cake walk for the Mighty Irish by 16.

Note: The game will have Kevin Sheehan working the chains.

Will's Lock of the Week

Last Week:

Wow! Didn't see that coming. Virginia Tech got happy-go-jacky on the Yellow Jackets like a donkey eatin' a waffle! I quit watching at halftime, but I think the Hokies' defense and special teams scored 28 points. They sent the rest of the conference an invitation to the ACC Championship party. It said, "BYOB: Bring your own BOOYAH!"

Record: 2-2

This Week's Lock:

Pitt
@
Rutgers -1

Are the Panthers really getting a point against Rutgers?!? I know Pitt is down this year but they can't be that bad. Take Pittsburgh but buy a half-point just in case. I say Panthers by 8.

Note: This game is Friday night, so jump on it now.

BC vs. BC

The Cadets will rest this weekend as they prepare to take on Burke County (4-1) next Friday at Memorial Stadium. Let me make something clear, because I want to give everyone fair notice: attendance is required at this game. Not only is it homecoming (which, by the way, comes from the Old Medieval English term meaning "HOME" "COMING"), but there's a lot on the line. The Cadets need a win here to keep their playoff dreams alive. To say Burke is merely a formidable opponent is an enormous understatement. The only team they've lost to is Thomson (30-14), a perennial AAA powerhouse. This Friday they play South Effingham, and the outcome is obviously of great interest to us.

I know there are tons of more important things going on for lots of people that weekend, doing things with "friends" that I'm sure they'll still have 30 years from now. Fraternities. Girlfriends. Many, for example, are going to Knoxville. Cool. That's really hard to do. I'm sure you'll really separate yourselves from the other 100,000 rednecks there. I'm watching that game too, on this new thing they got now called a television.

Anyway, you can find me at 6:30 on Oct. 7 in the Paulson parking lot blasting oldies music, downing PBR, and making huge, unsubstantiated claims about how this is the biggest game of all time (like last weekend). But let's face it, it really is.

Colonel Fleming, we'll need a "word of the week" to repeat starting Monday.

Great Quotes

To sum these two quotes up; a welfare state is bad... very bad.

"The principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale." ---Thomas Jefferson

"I find no warrant for such an appropriation in the Constitution, and I do not believe that the power and the duty of the General Government ought to be extended to the relief of individual suffering which is in no manner properly related to the public service or benefit... The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow citizens in misfortune. This has been repeatedly and quite lately demonstrated. Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the Government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character, while it prevents the indulgence among our people of that kindly sentiment and conduct which strengthens the bonds of a common brotherhood." ---PresidentGrover Cleveland

Stand in the Place Where You Are

Thanks for the link Stephen. I'm gonna be gay and jump in here and do mine too. A few of these questions are slanted, and some of the famous people's positions are flawed (Hillary Clinton, for example, is no different than Darth Vader, and Bush is no Reagan economically), but otherwise a good quiz. Bottom line: anyone with a rating of less than 80% economic permissive will be booted off this blog.

You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (93% permissive) You are best described as a: Capitalist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Profiling

You are a Social Conservative (30% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (91% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Republican Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Strong Republican: You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.
Go here to get your own profile.

Very Superstitious

There is a little-known tradition among Georgia fans of lighting a cigar in the 4th quarter if the Dawgs have a lead. Substitute BC for Georgia and a Carey Hilliard's butter mint for the cigar and you have the makings of a miraculous win at the Corral.

Also, the Cadets are 0-2 when I drink before the game and 2-0 when I don't. This sucks but sometimes you gotta take one for the team.

BC GOTTUM!

BC GOT 'EM

GUYTON, GA - Huge win last night. We needed this one.

The Cadets knocked off South Effingham, the #5 team in AAA, on the road, thanks to the defense. Over a thousand Cadet fans old and young nearly packed the visitor stands of the "Corral" to cheer on the most motivated squad we've seen in quite a while. The malaise of the past 3 years is long gone; the Cadets are winning games again. 2 years ago I said that moving down to AAA was a bad idea, because we couldn't hang with the AAA cracker schools and our players would lose heart. I was dead wrong on both counts. Not only can we hang, we can beat the best, on the road.

I don't want to over-embellish things (and I probably will), but this might be the most excited I've seen BC's players/students/alumni/fans about the team since our freshman year. Maybe that's because last night was the first time we beat a top 5 team since that year (the 1997 victory over #4 Bradwell). Don't get me wrong, BC still has a long way to go, but while last night was only the first of five subregion contests, this team should make the playoffs.

I invite Leonard and Fleming, standing next to me last night shouting the fight song alongside hundreds of other alumni as the clock ran out, to post on this as well.

Will's Lock of the Week

I got lucky last week. Without Reggie Ball, the Jackets used a dominant rushing attack to steamroll UConn. Resdhirt freshman QB, Taylor Bennett did not play great, but was able to manage the game and not make any mistakes.

Record: 2-1

Lock of the Week:

Georgia Tech
@
Virginia Tech -11

A lot of pigskin prognoticators are putting the Hokies in the Rose Bowl, but I'm not drinking that Kool-aid. The Jackets are notorious for covering as road underdogs. A great defense and strong running game are recipes for success when playing away from home. Virginia Tech will not be able to run the ball against the Jacket's front seven. Lil' Vick's weakness will be exposed as he will be forced to make plays through the air.

With that said, I still don't know if Georgia Tech can pull off the upset. Ball's status is still questionable and, even if he does play, he will not be 100%. Damarius Bilbo's emergence as a good second receiver will do wonders for Tech's offense now that defenses cannot fully concentrate on shutting down Calvin.

When a game is this hard to call, you have to look at intngibles. Georgia Tech leads the nation in turnover margin and has a reliable kicker in Travis Bell. Finally, Gameday is coming to Blacksburg. The home team is 0-3 this year when Gameday comes to town.

Give me the Jackets by 4.

Remember The Time

Due to the last two nostalgic posts, I have been inspired to start one of my own. "Remember The Time" will be a multiple installment featured here on "Beach Music and Boat Shoes". Feel free to comment on your own memories or make your own posts. Alright enough with the queer stuff. Let's start remembering some times.
Do you remember "Paint the Halls Day" during homecoming week at BC. What a ridiculous mistake by the BC staff to allow us to pretty much put whatever the hell we wanted to all over those windows. Here are some of my all time favorites:
-"Brother Tim is gay"
If you recall this was written across the hall from the "library".
-"Die Danny Die"
This one killed two birds with one stone. Not only an Ace Ventura reference but also a shout out to our beloved quarterback.
-"Bobby Hjorstberg is White Lightening"
I hated that kid and he deserved every bit of ridicule he got.
-"Ryan Poston and Toby Poston are cousins"
I think this one embarrassed the hell out of Ryan for obvious reasons.
-"Glenda"
Written outside of Senorita's class, this was a reference to a vintage shirt Pierce had but Mrs.
Patterson got all self conscious b/c she thought it was about her and made us erase this one. Maybe if she would just brush her teeth everything would be alright.
-The drawing of a Miley "Swamp Rat" on one of the windows in the well. That thing looked
exactly like Miley.
-The weed drawings and references our senior year. This were not funny at all but must be
brought up because it was a foreshadowing of what would become of 74% of our class.
-Sophomore year when we attempted to completely paint over the window in B2 so Coach Cannon wouldn't see us cheating on Vocabulary tests. I can't remember if we actually got away with one.

That's all I can remember right now but I know I will think of some more.

There is Always Something There to Remind Me

Camden County, currently the #1 football team in the highest division in the state, also holds the state's longest regular-season winning steak (50 games).

Pop quiz: who was the last team to beat these crackers in the regular season?

Thankfully, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reminds us:

The Wildcats have the longest current regular-season winning streak in the state --- 50 in a row, going into Friday's game against Glynn Academy. They have won every regular-season game from Oct. 6, 2000, until now, a streak that began against Glynn Academy. The last team to beat Camden County in the regular season? Benedictine, a 9-7 winner on Sept. 29, 2000.

***Friday night flashback***...(wavy lines going back and forth, Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days" starts playing in the background...)

The #1 song in the country was "Jumpin, Jumpin" by Destiny's Child, "Remember the Titans" ruled the Box Office, gas was a dollar, none of the girls we hung out with were fat yet (on the flip side, none of them put out either), Republicans actually believed in things like balanced budgets and limited government, and the Benedictine Cadets were kicking ass and taking names.

Yes, believe it or not, it was nearly 5 years ago on a nasty, rainy night when 9 of us ventured down I-95 for a two-hour drive to the edges of civilization to watch one of the greatest BC games of all time. Second-string kicker Brandon Mell stepped up and sealed the deal during the last seconds with a 36-yard field goal as payback for the Protestant Reformation.

Next pop question: name the 9 of us that were there that night (11 total if you include Leonard and Wood, who were busy kicking cracker ass on the field)

"Alma Matta BSS, guiding us to happiness..."

I wish I was still sitting in the back of Mrs. Sikes' Social Studies class, breaking some random girl's hair band. She deserved it.

Brantley, Collier, and Hodges Strike Again

Click on this link if you want to read something amazing: http://www.redandblack.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/09/16/432a3448d7393
(Don't worry, I put links to things you actually can read and don't have to sign up for, unlike Pat)

This frat guy is dead serious when he proposes that UGA approve and fund a nighttime weekend bus route to drive drunk Greeks back and forth between downtown and their houses on Milledge. This same guy probably sports a W sticker on the back of his truck and would gladly respond, "Hell no!" if you asked him if welfare is a good idea. I'm sure he doesn't see the irony in the fact that he expects Big Brother to take care of him and "accept this responsibility," as he puts it.

Help make this guy look stupid by posting feedback as I did. Even better, email a letter to the editor.

Halfway There

If not for the commercialization of St. Patrick's Day, the date of September 17 would be meaningless. However, this is the midpoint of the Irish calendar and, thus, a reason to get Connolly'd at your local pub.

The 2006 Parade falls on a Friday, meaning we will get about a half-million spectators. I've actually received confirmations from a few.

Julio and Rico will able to make it since Mike's uncle is shutting down the box plant for the day.















Bloomingdale Elementary also gets the day off. Little Skyler and all his buddies are coming.



















Tyrone said he's 95% sure he can make it. He was named after County Tyrone.



















And finally, our favorite group of high school girls will be there, a year older and a year more developed.

I Hate Lance Armstrong

Some great news today - this smug jackass:

will not be coming out of retirement anymore.

"I'm happy with the way my career went and ended and I'm not coming back."

Good. Stay gone. I'll be so happy never to see him smirk at the cameras, counting his wins on his fingers like the humble soul he is. He didn't beat cancer - his doctors did. "Live Strong"... by riding a bicycle a lot and getting completely undeserved attention for it.

"Sitting here today, dealing with all this stuff again, knowing if I were to go back, there's no way I could get a fair shake -- on the roadside, in doping control, or the labs."

I don't buy this conspiracy theory BS for a second. In fact, it makes me want to believe the claims against him even more. Yeah, some evil bad guys are going to get away with tainting your results since you're the most unfairly popular "athlete" in sports. It's so appropriate that he married Sheryl Crow - another no-talent hack who got famous in her field for no reason at all. Maybe she should get cancer so she can have another hit again, because it's not going to happen otherwise.

Will's Lock of the Week

I learned a valuable life lesson last week. Always stick to your guns. After initially taking Notre Dame as my lock, I changed my mind at the last minute and went with TCU. Well, the Horned Frog got slapped around by SMU, dropping me back to .500.

Record: 1-1

This week's lock:

Connecticut
@
Georgia Tech -15

You're thinking that I'm going to tell you to take the Huskies, right? I know you are. I mean, Tech is possibly the worst team at covering when they are the favorite. That may have been the Tech of years past but these are the Jackets of right about now the funk soul brothers BOOYA! UConn's QB is making his first start on the road. Call me crazy, but I like the Jackets by 18.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys. Whatchya gonna do?

After another fruitful night at the library, I decided to pedal my candy apple red bike home, via Broad St. and Milledge Ave. I left school at 11:00 p.m., hardly any traffic about. As I briskly made it to Milledge, I started to coast down the suicide lane heading towards Baxter St. No cars in sight. What's this? I hear what seems like a Crown Victoria accelerating up behind me. As I am trying to make room for the car to pass, blue lights flicker about... signaling me to pull over. Like any car would do when being pulled over by the cops, I slowed down and turned off the road.
The officer told me to slowly get off my bike, keeping my hands where he can see them. After I put my bike on the sidewalk, I began to pull off my bookbag. The officer got real excited and said "Halt! What sort of parcels are in your bag?" I explained to him that I was on my way home from the library, so of course I was carrying only books. Not only was I wearing seer suckered shorts, but Athens is home to 10,000 other students who frequently ride bikes with bookbags. What else would I be carrying?
He requested my ID, then very systematically inspected my speed demon bike. At that point, I still believed that I had been pulled over for riding in the suicide lane. Nope, the officer explained to me that I did not have "sufficient equipment" on my bike. I said, "oh, so I need to have more reflectors on my bike?" The officer answered "No, you must have electric lights on both the front and back of your vehicle, sir."
Well, he only gave me a warning. The cop wasted our tax dollars on pulling over a college kid riding a bike home. Could I really unsuspectedly run over an old lady at 11:00 pm with my vicious mountain bike? What an asshole.
Think about it, there were at least 2,000 kids last night walking into bars with fake ids, and this f%#$@* decides to pull a bicycler over on Milledge... for a warning.

I Hate Phillies Fans

I despise Philadelphia Phillies fans. What a group of lowlife trashbags. They try to ride the "Hey, I'm a blue-collar worker who has long days on the job, so when I pay to see you play, you better not screw up or I'll boo your ass" excuse. Keep your frustrations to yourself and for putting more holes in your apartment's walls and stay away from the ballpark.

A baseball game should be a place where you can sit and enjoy a leisurely-paced sport, drink cold beer, and keep your kids away from "Date My Mom" and "Room Raiders." You should never have to worry about some flabby, red-faced alcoholic liberal cussing his lungs out in front of your kids at a baseball game. Why do decent people have to suffer through ugly middle-agers pissed off that they live in a vile city with complete jokes for sports teams?

At least we can be satisfied knowing that Northeasterners unknowingly participate in a telling metaphor: When "fans" of the Phillies, Red Sox, and Yankees boo their own teams, they are expressing their utter contempt for their own lack of culture and worth in their own lives.

The 13 Worst Movies I Have Ever Seen

These are the 13 worst movies that I have ever seen. I would write some little rant about each one, but they mostly speak for themselves. Feel free to comment or add some of your own; the only qualification is that you list movies that you have watched all the way through.

And no, just because Saving Private Ryan is a war movie that plays to your emotions about dead soldiers does not make it a good movie.

13. Urban Legend
12. Finding Nemo
11. Bringing Down The House
10. The Fast and the Furious 1 and 2
9. Blue Crush
8. Lemon Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
7. Hero
6. Wes Craven's New Nightmare
5. Saving Private Ryan
4. I Heart Huckabees
3. The Matrix Revolutions
2. Mystic River
1. Charlie's Angels 1 and 2

Trap Games

This weekend's slate presents some scary matchups for a few BMBS-supported teams.

Effingham Co. @ Benedictine
The Rebels are 0-2 with losses to pretty good teams in South Effingham and Screven County. BC is 3-1 and feeling pretty good about themselves right now. Effingham is licking their chops at the opportunity to beat up on the city boys from Savannah. The Cadets may also be looking ahead to next week's crucial sub-region showdown with South Effingham. Another interesting sub-plot is Coach Munch's decision to leave BC for Springfield. But wait, there's more! Munch's replacement, Buddy Sorrow, has coached at Effingham in the past. Finally, I've held a personal grudge against the Rebels ever since that redneck sucker-punched Mark at the '94 game in Springfield. A classic Catholics vs. Crackers battle.

Connecticut @ Georgia Tech
I know. Tech shouldn't be concerned with a game against UConn. But the Huskies are good and will make the Jackets sweat. Tech travels to Blacksburg next week for a game which might decide the Coastal Division of the ACC. And, as we all know, Chan Gailey isn't the best at motivating his teams for games like this (cite '04 UNC, '03 Duke).

Michigan St. @ Notre Dame
The Golden Domers are on cloud-9 after taming the Skunkbears in the Big House. MSU's Drew Stanton is the best QB the Irish have faced so far this season. I still think the secondary is playing above their abilities and will come back down sooner or later. And since this is the home opener, emotions will be sky high on the ND sideline. This could lead to mental lapses early on. I predicted a shoot-out last week and was dead wrong but I'll do it again. Just please do not wear the green jerseys!

Revised Lock of the Week

In light of Pitt's overtime loss to Ohio (not Ohio State) last night, I feel a lot less confident about the Irish. Therefore I have decided to change my Lock of the Week.

TCU -14.5
@
SMU

The Horned Frogs may still be celebrating their upset of Oklahoma but they should have no problem with SMU. The Mustangs lost at home to Baylor by 5 points last weekend. Enough said.
TCU by 24.

One more thing on Katrina.

Just kidding. But check out the array of boat shoes offered at Nordstrom. And they all cost around $50! I perfer the blue myself.

Let's Beat a Dead Horse

Here is another good article on the Katrina deal. It touches on a lot of the things we have been saying the last week, and it actually uses the phrase "welfare parasites".
http://tiadaily.com/php-bin/news/showArticle.php?id=1026

Braves Bits - if you will

If you haven't seen any Braves games lately, there's a group of about 6 guys and girls who dress up in hot dog suits and hold up a sign declaring themselves "Francoeur's Franks." They go nuts every time he does something.

Though I didn't come up with these, I figured it was worth sharing. I found these suggestions on a message board:

Chipper's Strippers
Orr's Whores

Also, thanks to the message board, I now have realized that every single time the camera cuts to the bullpen, reliever John Foster walks out of the lounge door. I noticed it subconsciously before, but now I know he does it on purpose. He watches the game on the TV in there and as soon as they show the bullpen, he bursts through the door and plays with his belt. This is comic genius and gives you something to look for in those late innings.

Sorry, Still More on Katrina

Even Europeans are jumping in now and accusing Americans of not caring enough about their own poor/minorities, saying that is the reason why so many have died in New Orleans. Evil, greedy, capitalist American pigs (like me) care more about tax cuts instead of providing public goods like national health care, they reason, and it is this conservative/libertarian attitude that is truly responsible for the tragedy.

Nevermind the fact that a category 5 hurricane hit a below sea-level city of over a million where 2/3rds of the population already happens to be black.

I hate to keep linking the same blog, but these econ professors at George Mason Univ. are flat-out brilliant. All of you should read this blog everyday. Today, they point out how socialist France, with its supposedly perfect, generous universal health-care system, couldn't even keep 15,000 of its own citizens from dying during a short heat wave in the Summer of '03 (I was in the U.K. at the time).

Why Spurrier Hates Georgia

I hope all of you knew I was being sarcastic with yesterday's post.

Here's two stories, one in Charleston's paper, the other in Columbia's, explaining exactly what turned Spurrier to the dark side.

Many of you already know what it is, but I just felt like posting it anyway.

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to....suffering." And the Gamecocks WILL suffer on Saturday.

Will's Lock of the Week

I started the season off on the right foot last week, as Boston College coasted to an easy 20-3 victory over BYU.

Record: 1-0

This week's lock:

Notre Dame
@
Michigan -7

Charlie and the Touchdown Factory roll into Ann Arbor this weekend for a classic battle between these two hated rivals. Last year, Darius Walker ran wild over the Wolverines as Notre Dame stunned the nation by upsetting Michigan 28-20 in Southbend. This year's matchup looks to be a shootout with the winner most likely being the last team to have the ball.

Take the Irish. Seven points is far too many to give up to a team that can score like ND. Hell, go ahead and take the Irish to win. Notre Dame will shutdown the run and force Michigan to become one-dimmesional. Only problem is, the Irish secondary is still suspect, despite their performance against Pitt. Behind a superior OL, Notre Dame will be able to run the ball effectively. The "thunder and lightning" combo of Walker and Rashon Powers-Neal won't dominate, but will force Michigan's defense to respect the run, allowing Brady Quinn to put up big numbers.

The Irish steal one in Ann Arbor by 6 points and Brady Quinn is catapulted into the thick of the Heisman race.

Steve Spurrier: Nice Guy

He's real laid back now...you'd like him a lot. Read this AJC interview, for example. Carolina is currently a 16.5-point underdog for Saturday. Don't get me wrong, my blood runs red and black, but I'm not taking this bet.

New Orleans and Katrina: Part Deux

Here's another article on the chaos of New Orleans. This time the main culprate of the troubles is our country's out of control welfare system.
"What Hurricane Katrina exposed was the psychological consequences of the welfare state. What we consider "normal" behavior in an emergency is behavior that is normal for people who have values and take the responsibility to pursue and protect them. People with values respond to a disaster by fighting against it and doing whatever it takes to overcome the difficulties they face. They don't sit around and complain that the government hasn't taken care of them. And they don't use the chaos of a disaster as an opportunity to prey on their fellow men."

FINALLY!

Read about it here.

New Orleans and Katrina

I won't go into detail about the hurricane and its destruction. We have all watched the devastation unravel on Fox News since late Sunday night. The flooding and damage can all be repaired with time, but something worse is happened there. Today, I heard reports of armed gangs of looters and thugs running the neighborhoods of New Orleans. Reports of police men either going AWOL or taking part in looting itself, beatings of refugees, shoots being fired at rescue attempts, and even raping of children has been reported. This reminds of Lord of the Flies. What would posses these punks to behave the way they are? I happened to stumble upon this article that tries to answer such a question. After reading it, the New Orleans catastrophe was started years before Katrina ever thought of making landfall.

Target Destination; Jordan- Hare Stadium

The Boat Shoes will arrive in Auburn on Saturday, September 3rd at 5:00 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will commence the dangerous switch from beer to bourbon at 5:05 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will feast on barbecue and fried chicken at 5:10 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will say something extremely embarrassing at 6:30 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will enter Jordan-Hare stadium at 7:30 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will pull out the secret weapon, a tasty flask, at 8:30 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will be starving 10:45 p.m. central time.
The Boat Shoes will go into a coma at 11:00 p.m. central time.

Will's Lock of the Week

College football is finally here and I'm more excited than Dennis Rodman at a Clinique sale! BOOYAH! This is the first in a weekly installment that will span the entire season. Feel free to respond with your thoughts or your own lock of the week.

Boston College -2.5
@ BYU

I honestly have no idea why this line is so low. The only possible explanation is that Vegas is banking on BC laying an egg in Provo like their Catholic cousins did last year. With a new coach and a return to the Ty Detmer uniforms, the Mormons will be sky high for this game. But in my book, you gotta get to White Castle before the weirdos show up! The Eagles physical, smashmouth style will allow them to grind out an easy win. BC by 13.

Disclaimer: This post is intended for discussion only and does not endorse betting or gambling. The author is not responsible for any losses incurred by using this information. However, donations are gladly accepted from all gains.

"The Fighting Irish" No, really.

Cork's Brendan O'Sullivan in a skirmish with Kerry's Seamus Moynihan just before the end of the first half of the All-Ireland senior football semi final at Croke Park yesterday. Apparently, Brendan proceeded to gauge Seamus' eye out when the Kerry man threatened to steal the Cork man's lucky charms. I propose that these two fine athletes be our first speakers at our annual St. Patrick's Day breakfast. I had the honor of attending a hurling match at Croke park during my stay one month ago. During the game, I could faintly hear off in the distance... "Oh Paddy dear, did you hear the news that's going 'round? The shamrock is forbid by law to grow on Irish ground..."

More Praise for Clarkson

I can't stress it enough. This chick is the real deal. Be sure to watch the MTV VMA's tonight to see just how many this talented, gorgeous superstar takes home for what is probably the best music video since Michael Jackson's Thriller, for the best song since the Beatles' "Hey Jude".

BC Bounces Back...

and beats one of the best teams in the city.

You May Not Like Us, But Your Girlfriends Do.

Fury at the Fuel Pump

Gas prices are at their highest level in history. It cost me $30 to fill up my Honda yesterday. I agree, it sucks.

Millions of Americans are asking, along with the elite news media: "What is the government going to DO about this?"

Hopefully nothing.

During the late 70s, in response to rising oil prices, the Carter Administration created the Department of Energy. Worst idea ever. Carter set price controls on fuel, regulating what gas station owners could charge for a gallon of gas. This, of course, led to long waiting lines at gas stations because demand was unnaturally outstripping supply.

Enter Ronald Reagan, whose first action as President in January of 1981 was to end these disasterous price controls.

Bam. Energy crisis solved. Gas lines disappeared. Beginning in 1981, the price of oil went back up to its natural market level, inducing firms to produce more oil, and during the course of the 1980s the price of oil dropped substantially. With the stroke of a pen, Reagan ended the energy crisis.

So what's going on 25 years later? The explosive growth of China and India over the last 5 years, the current mess in the Middle East, and a strict Sierra Club-style regulatory environment preventing production and refining in the US are all reasons for oil's high price today.

My point is, we don't need an energy "plan". The best thing the government can do right now is LEAVE THINGS ALONE and GET OUT OF THE WAY. The cure for $60 a barrel oil is...$60 a barrel oil. The price system will take care of everything, and all indicators show that it already is doing so. Prices are the most efficient mechanism at sending the necessary signals to producers through profit incentives to bring more petroleum to market (world oil production is at its highest level in history), to entrepreneurs to invest more in alternative fuel technologies (happening), and to consumers to conserve more (also happening; i.e., more people are buying hybrids instead of SUVs).

There's a great article at the Baltimore Sun that puts this to words much better than me. Subscription is free.

Give me one example where government has done a good job solving energy crunches. Why do people always turn to government to solve their economic problems? Especially when the government has the worst track record and the free-market has the best? All of the aforementioned participants, acting in their own self-interest and not under some grand "master plan" of a central authority, nor naive altruism (notice, for example, how more people are buying hybrids today NOT because they're tree-huggers or anthropology majors but because it will SAVE THEM MONEY), will solve our energy crunch in the most efficient manner. Just watch.

The rendez vous point

Look at that sparse sun baked crab grass... great surface for boat shoes.

More BC Stuff

Coach Brackett spoke at the Alumni Association meeting last night. Typically, Brackett uses Holtz-like poor mouthing when talking about his teams. Last night, though, he seemed rather upbeat about the Cadets chances this year. Here's a breakdown of what he said.

As a unit, he said this is the best group of RBs he's ever had. There's no superstar but they all understand their roles and are ferocious blockers. Kourtney Pollard (4.4 40) is the best of the group but had some attitude problems last year. Brackett promised that he is straightened out.

QB is still a tossup between Dotson and Cail. Both have shown significant improvement over the offseason, thanks in large part to the new QB coach. I imagine Dotson will get the nod against Marist because he is a senior and he is a Dotson.

OL started out as a question mark but the coaching staff has found a good set of starters. If any of the five starters goes down, though, we could be in trouble. The new OL coach is Ken Cooper (former OL coach at UGA and head coach at Ole Miss). Both tightends are good receivers and will be utilized in the passing game.

Coach Brackett was not so optimistic about the defense. They are small up front and will not be able to go toe-to-toe with a strong offensive line. After consulting with former Valdosta coach, Mike O'Brien, this summer, Brackett is putting his best athletes at DE. One is Craig Thomas, who will also start at fullback. The other, whom Brackett did not name, went down with a knee injury.

We all know who is back at linebacker. Although not quite as gifted as his older brother, Anthony Wallace will be the focal point of the defense. Brackett also seemed pleased with the other starter at LB, whose first name, if I heard him correctly, is Gay. If that is his real name, I hope he takes out all his frustration from being teased as a kid on the Marist backfield.

The secondary seemed to be the coaching staff's biggest concern. Lack of size, speed, and depth is a deadly combination.

The kicking tandem of William Boyd (PK) and Ashton Phillips (P) is one of the best in the area. Boyd has a strong leg but was very inconsistent last year, missing way too many extra point attempts. Scott Shelton worked with him a little over the summer and hopefully straightened out his technique.

Despite the losses of long-time coaches Wayne Munch, Donal Chumley, and Tommy Cannon in recent years, Brackett said this is his best staff yet. Ken Cooper certainly adds validity to his statement. Also, the new OC is former East Hall head coach, Buddy Sorrow. Before retiring, he led East Hall to many region championships. He called Brackett out of the blue and told him he wanted to get back into coaching, but only at the right place. Coach Hall (QB coach) played quarterback at a D3 school and also coached QBs at the collegiate level. Donal Joyce ('97) started on the DL on the infamous '96 team and returns this year to coach the DL.

And finally, Coach Brackett guarenteed victory Saturday night. He said the attitude and leadership on this squad is off the charts.

I stand by my prediction:

BC .......................20
Marist.................14
Class of 2001.....Drunk

On a side note, I met yet another cousin to the Leonard dynasty last night at Sky Bar. He was a Markwalter, but I'm not sure what his first name was. Vick, maybe. Anyways, that satisfies my yearly quota of meeting people related to the Leonards in Statesboro.

BC-Marist Brings College Atmosphere

Even the Savannah Morning News is pumped up about the War Eagles coming to town. The article says that BC is trying to also add St. Pius to the schedule, so that, each year, we would play one game in Atlanta and one game in Savannah.

In other news, I just recently discovered the BC Alumni website www.benedictinealumni.org. You can create an account and they have message boards and news forums. There is a meeting tonight to vote on the Association's Board of Directors. Jason Jue is one of the nominees. Enough said.

BREAK AN ARM! BREAK A LEG! BENEDIC! BENEDIC!

3 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!

One More Week

The Cadets and War Eagles will be lacing them up exactly one week from now. My prediction:

Benedictine 20
Marist 14
Class of 2001 Drunk



I hit the phones hard today and made a lot of headway. Here is the RSVP list so far.

1. Eric Brown
2. Tavares Brown
3. Stephen Bruce
4. Ty Butler
5. Adam Clary
6. Rett Colleran
7. Tommy Davis
8. Davis Derst
9. Jeff Disk
10. Steven Doan
11. Will Fleming
12. Randy Gill
13. Mark Haslam
14. Patrick Holland
15. Morgan Jenssen
16. Chris Lane
17. Stephen Leonard (if he can find a ride)
18. TC Madison
19. Bryan McBride
20. Lee McCurry
21. Stephen Morgan
22. Chris Murray
23. Chris Pace
24. Arvind Raman
25. Michael Reardon
26. Patrick Sauers
27. Ryan Smith
28. Nardis Walker (maybe)
29. Tim Wallace
30. Brent Watts
31. Patrick Whitledge
32. Joe Wood
33. Brooks Zeigler

This list only shows people that have confirmed either me or Brooks. With everyone spreading the word, it looks like we might get 50 or more people!

Come Fall In Line

The 5-year reunion is starting to come together nicely. We already have confirmations from about 20 guys. I think 40 is a realistic goal. I checked out Marist's website and it looks like they are bringing a lot of people too. They are sponsoring a student trip to Tybee that afternoon. It also seems Marist is hosting a barbecue dinner at BC before the game. I can't wait!

12 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!

Kelly Clarkson - Best Singer in America

This girl rocks, and I don't care what any of you say. While I am still too cheap to buy her CD, I have downloaded pretty much all of her songs. Her "Breakaway" album released last year will probably go down in history next to Rubber Soul and Pet Sounds as one of the best albums of all time. Funny thing is, I'm not being sarcastic at all. My current ringtone is "Behind these Hazel Eyes." Every time I hear this song my eyes tear up. Clarkson belts out her beautiful lyrics with a passion that makes Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera sound like William Shatner. So Kelly, this is an open invitation -- will you marry me? Because I'm in love with you and your music.

We're Gonna Drive Ol' High School Off the Sod....

The scrimmage with Savannah High, which Pat alluded to, is set for Friday, August 5, 7:30 at Daffin Park. It's good to see both schools making an effort to renew this storied rivalry. BC leads the 107-game series with a record of 52-47-8. Sadly, I will not be able to attend since I will be on a retreat for my intramurals job at GSU.

Apparently, the new principal at the High has been cleaning house this summer. This has rubbed some people the wrong way, but I think it's about time these coaches are held responsible for their team's performance. If Savannah High missed the playoffs in basketball, you better believe Tim Jordan would be on the hot seat. With the athletes roaming the halls at all the public schools, all it takes is a good coach to turn things around. The tide has already turned at Groves and Windsor Forest. It looks like the High may be next.

Slainte

My report to the good people of BMBS is now due, for I have traversed the four corners of the Mother Land. I must be brief for I'm on the run, sight seeing and what not. Here's my synopsis thus far.
I started in Dublin where we got real drunk. Then off to Cork (very wet but nice), where we got real drunk. Then to a real Irish Catholic wedding (they put our weddings to shame, as well they should. The damn thing last 13 hours, I'm not shitting you.) near Middleton Co. Cork, where we got real drunk. Patrick and I then met my father on the Dingle Peninsula (great scenery), from there we worked our way up the west coast through Ennis(dirty, yet a great party town), Sligo (cool mountains, wide beaches, very industrial), Donegal (tiny town, nice city center, great music), and then Derry (by far the highlight of the trip for me. I visited the walled city where many IRA fights took place ) From Derry we landed in Droughegal (wide beaches covered in algae, apparently where huge horses are held right on the beach head every September. A lot of history in the town, very old) just north of Dublin. At the moment I am typing this in Dublin... on a computer hooked up to a TV, crude by manageable.
Economy: Holland, my expectations have been met. The economy is booming, everyone in Ireland is benefiting. Lots of people walk the streets of Dublin in pin stripped business suits and the factories are pumping.
Government: Not much exposure ot this yet, but a lot of political news apparently is reported by hearsay and rumor. But one major problem here is immigration. Ironic because 15 years ago emigration was a severe problem. But because of the Celtic Tigers booming economy, Dublin has become the hot spot for immigrants. The Dubliners here love the Latvians, Poles, and Rumanians because they are honest hard workers. The problem here arises with the influx of Nigerians. They declare themselves refugees of a war so that Ireland will provide welfare to them for the rest of their lives. The locals have acquired animosity to the Nigerians, as well they should. From my sources, the Nigerians are really trying to escape a hard days work rather than a tyrannical dictator. The Dail (the Irish Legislature) has passed laws restricting these people from riding the hog of the tax payers. But the socialists EU is fighting Ireland's fight against these worthless "refugees."
Running: A lot people go for runs here, athletics is a major of part of everyone's life. Currently, the Gaelic Games are in the finals. The pubs are jammed packed watching these oddly ruled games.
Mike Leonard: His accent is so southern that the Irish look like deer caught in head lights when asked a question by old Mike.
Possibility of living here: No way, there's no good hambugers or steaks,... and there's no happy hours.
Thats all I have for now, more to come later. I have tons of picture for yall.
Later

Beat Downs

A list of the Top 50 People in America today that need a severe beating. Apologies for Ann Coulter.

Minimum Wage Rage

A great post on the minimum wage over at Capital Freedom. Everyone should read it.

Countdown to Marist

Less than a month remains until the Cadets take on the War Eagles at Savannah's Memorial Stadium. Everybody better be there. Win or lose, you can find me at one of the big booths at Hilliard's after the game. We should all try and go on at least one road trip this year too (Hephzibah or Jefferson County). Also, BC will scrimmage Southeast Bulloch this Friday, and a scrimmage against Savannah High may be in the works too.

Anyway, here's BC's schedule. I apologize for the weird layout; for some reason it won't let me space it out more neatly.

Aug 20/Saturday/6:00pm/Marist/Memorial
Aug 26/Friday/7:30pm/Groves/Garden City
Sep 2/Friday/7:30pm/Hephzibah/Hephzibah
Sep 10/Saturday/7:30pm/Richmond Academy/Memorial
Sep 16/Friday/7:30pm/Effingham County/Memorial
Sep 23/Friday/7:30pm/South Effingham/Rincon
Sep 30===============BYE================
Oct 7/Friday/7:30pm/Burke County (HC)/Memorial
Oct 14/Friday/7:30pm/Richmond Hill/Richmond Hill
Oct 21/Friday/7:30pm/Liberty County/Memorial
Oct 28/Friday/7:30pm/Jefferson County/Louisville

Come out and support the Cadets.

Two-Weeks Notice

It is Friday, July 22 and I have submitted my two-weeks notice. Reflecting on my internship with Savannah Area Geographic Information Systems (SAGIS), I have decided that my greatest achievements this summer occurred during lunch hour. Having eaten at many fine downtown establishments, I feel I have earned enough credibility to produce a ranking of downtown lunches.

The 5 Best:

1. Jupiter Cafe. I had never even heard of this place before today. The lunch buffet is the best I've had this summer. Mac & cheese, cabbage, barbecue, squash casserole, green beans, chicken wings, and fried fish. They also had a dessert buffet with banana pudding and strawberry shortcake. The wings were not as good as Maury's but they did not disappoint. Definitely worth the $8 that I did not pay.

2. Sakura. A fusion of Chinese and Japanese flavors, Sakura offers the most bang for your buck in the non-buffet category. This was my most frequented restaurant and I ordered the sesame chicken every time. Huge portions and a side salad for $6 is hard to beat on Broughton St.

3. Ray's. Your traditional "meat-and-three" home cookin' restaurant. A typical meal at Ray's included fried chicken, mac & cheese, collards, mashed potatoes & gravy, cornbread, with a side order of Mr. Wolf for about $7.

4. Chao. A Chinese buffet right next door to Ray's. Though not a super buffet, it contained all the Chinese essentials, like pepper steak, sweet & sour chicken, lo mein, egg rolls, and hot wings. For $5 it is the cheapest lunch buffet in the historic district.

5. Locos. This chain restaurant, primarily known for its underage nightlife, makes the list based soley on one item: the Blackened Salmon BLT. It also doesn't hurt to have a Josh Mallard jersey hanging on the wall.

The 5 Worst:

1. Larry's Giant Subs. By far the worst lunch experience I've ever had. First off, the wait is ridiculous for a fast-food establishment. Granted the downtown location get slammed at lunch time, but every Larry's I've been to had been slow. Upon ordering a BLT, the cashier told me they were out of tomatoes. Not wanting to search for something else on the menu, I said that was fine. However, the person ordering after me got tomatoes on his sandwich. Inexcusable!

2. Exchange Tavern. This story requires a little background. SAGIS is sort of a task force of county and city employees. There are only four of us: a city employee, a county employee and two interns, both employed by the county. We went to the Exchange for a retirement lunch for another city employee. Myself, and the county employee were the only non-city employees there. At the end of our meal, a lady took up a $1 collection to pay for the retiree's lunch. I only had a $20 bill on hand so I apologized for not being able to contribute. She made some snide remark about it only being a dollar and I again apologized. What a bitch! I don't even know this person and I'm expected to help contribute to her retirement lunch. And it's not like I'm not paying for my own lunch, which was terrible on its own merit. I got the barbecue lunch special with a side of cole slaw. It was terrible. It tasted like Kraft barbecue sauce. Plus, it was about $10.

3. State St. Cafe. The sign out side read, "Mix and Match: Half Turkey Melt, Chicken Caesar Melt, Ham & Cheese, $5.95" Call me slow, but I took this to mean you could choose half of one sandwich and half of another. I came to find out that the "mix and match" referred to the side items. So I got half of a sandwich and my choice of fries or onion rings for $6.

4. Churchill's. Bad service, bland food, and high prices get you a 4-spot on this list.

5. B & D Burgers. More like B & D Buns. And, unlike Coop's, you have to order from the table and leave a tip.

"Capital Freedom"

I highly recommend this new blog, started last week by a student at George Mason University. Not only is she a staunch defender of classical liberal thought, but she's also pretty hot.

In other news, co-blogger Stephen Leonard leaves for Ireland tomorrow. He will be filling the new BMBS International News Correspondent position.

All I have to say is be careful in Belfast buddy. We don't want you to get beheaded like the other foreign reporters, but don't compromise your journalistic integrity either. When they hit you with an Irish Car Bomb over there, you'll realize you're not at Molly O'Shea's anymore.

These People Walk Amongst Us

My name is Ryan Smith, and I am an English major. Small problem, though: I hate everything about it. I haven't read a single assigned book for any of my classes. I read Sparknotes to write all my papers, which, by the way, are masterworks of complete bullshit. English "professors" love that; as long as everyone is still playing pretend, things are great.

Worse than any of this are the people I have had to deal with in Park Hall for a year and a half. You know the type even if you don't go to UGA. Here are some of their favorite activities:
-Chain smoking
-Intellectualizing
-Arguing passionately about a poem in class
-Making sure everyone sees their I-Pod earpieces
-Writing in their diary in class (true)
-Coming to class barefoot
-Putting "Not My President" buttons on their satchels

But if you need a visual aid, I went to the trouble of coming back into my classroom when it was empty so I could take this picture.


"This is why things fall apart." Let's examine this. First off, we all know HOW ANNOYING IT IS TO WRITE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. Well, except for Tim, who sends every text message like this. Secondly, there's no punctuation, and as an English major, the author should be admonished.

More importantly, let's get to the message. The author fails to include exactly what or who is causing things to fall apart, so we are left to speculate. Perhaps he is being literal and referring to the occupant of the desk in front of them during the time of the inscription. Therefore, said occupant must be a severely obese person who causes things to break, such as desks. If this was the author's intention, then I must agree; obese people do cause things to fall apart and should be put down like dogs.

Most likely the message is a lyric from a music group, or even cuter, the graffiti artist himself. I must admit that I'm a little underwhelmed by the lack of originality or specifics. "Things" could be cars, relationships. unused showers, societies, black-rimmed glasses. You just never know.

In a decent world, the author is being self-referencial, owning up to his boo-hoo baby, liberal smarm and all its associations. Yes, because of people like him who damage other people's property, who protest things to get the attention they claim they don't want, who preach socialism while given the oppurtunity to thrive by way of capitalism, who infiltrate the hallowed grounds of BC and rob McDonald's, who get their news from The Daily Show, and who ruined their family members' lives that things are falling apart.

Thanks for reminding me every weekday.

Sorry, More Boring Stuff...

I'm just now getting back from the beach, where I didn't have internet access for over a week. So there's a lot to catch up on.

First, let's go ahead and get all of the "Live 8" malarchy out of the way. I tuned in and watched some of the performances last weekend, and I must say, great music and good intentions, but this is the most misguided effort ever. These left-wingers are still convinced, after decades of failed attempts, that somehow prosperity can be achieved through redistributive means.

Here's two great articles, here and here, on how foreign aid is pointless and usually hurts those it intends to help. I'll bet anyone that Africa will still be in poverty 50 years from now. I also bet there will be at least 50 more Live Aids that will try, and fail, to "end poverty". All of these organizers are so intent on finding out just what causes poverty, but the real question they should be asking themselves is what causes prosperity. Poverty has long been the norm. It's very easy to create poverty. Just do nothing.

The entire world lived in extreme poverty by today's standards until, about 300 years ago, the West began to prosper. How did this happen? Why do Americans enjoy the world's highest living standards? What is preventing Africans from creating wealth? If people like Dave Matthews and Bono really understood the answer to these questions, they wouldn't be giving a dime to Africa.

Foreign aid sustains poverty. Simple as that.

Second, Ireland. Came across a great post over at Cafe Hayek (a libertarian economics blog) that talks more about the Irish economic miracle. Interesting stuff. Lots of prosperity being created there, all without foreign aid.

Third, the U.S. employment rate dropped to 5% last month. This is the lowest rate since 9/11. I'm not saying Bush had anything directly to do with this, as presidents have no control over the business cycle (John Kerry reminded me of Josef Stalin last year when he promised that HE HIMSELF would somehow "create" 9 million jobs under a grand "jobs creation plan" if elected), but you have to give some credit to the 2003 tax rate reductions for creating a better climate for growth.

There's a great article in today's Wall Street Journal concerning this. Here's a sample:

Almost from the very day in May of 2003 when those tax reductions became law, the U.S. has experienced a robust expansion driven by investment and productivity gains, not by consumer spending...Consumers aren't irrelevant, but prosperity is created on the supply side of the economy with the incentives to produce goods or services that people want to consume. So tax cuts in marginal rates that boost incentives to work and invest provide a much bigger bang for the buck.

The private sector, not the government, drives economic growth. Even Clinton understood this to some degree. Why can't the rest of his party?

That's enough for today kids. Tomorrow I'll cover gas prices. Stay tuned.

The Anglican Church; still crumbling.

I am not able to recall this episode, but way back in 1991 there was a mass exodus of male Aglican priests. They knocked on the doors of the Vatican for permission to defect into the Roman Catholic Church. This mass conversion was a result of the Anglican Church allowing the ordination of women priests. The Pope allowed these men to convert only after it was ensured that they would preach the correct beliefs of the Catholic Church.

The Anglican Church will soon vote on whether to allow the ordination of women bishops. Knowing these people, the proposal will certainly be accepted into their catechism. Some current Anglican Bishops predict yet another mass exodus of priests into the Catholic Church after the upcoming vote.

What are these refugee priests seeking? It couldn't be order, authority, honor, tradition, and respect now could it?

On a lighter note, the ever experimental Anglican Church is now contemplating its next great idea

The Quotable Pyramid

"You drink Guinness? That shit is nasty."

"I'll have a Bud Light."

"Who wants to play drinking games?"

"Ziggy-zoggy, ziggy-zoggy, hoy, hoy, hoy."

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

"She's got some tig ol' bitties."

"Let's go to Savannah Smiles."

"I've never been to a strip club."

"I mean, I love him to death, but..."

In Statesboro:
"Who all's going to the bars?"

In Savannah:
"I think I'm just going to stay in tonight."

Engrish.com

If we have learned one thing about the language of our friends to the East, it is that characters do not translate well to English. And for some reason these people love to take popular phrases in their language, translate them and then put them on a T-shirt. A website called Engrish.com is dedicated to this phenomenon. I don't know if ya'll know about it already, but I thought it was worthy of mentioning on the blog.

Pretenders to the Throne

While tailgating at Friday's Braves game, a certain unnamed BC alumnus gathered with his fraternity brothers right across from our spot. This guy, who must be at least 24 by now, plopped down in his camping chair with his balls peeping out and instructed his buddy to play some "classic rock" on the car's stereo.

He was by far the oldest person there, but that did not seem to matter to him. There were some hot girls there who probably just saw their first legal rated R movie in the theaters. Anyways, the crowd really started to grow and through effortless eavesdropping I heard snippets of conversation, including:

"So, you excited about college?...Yeah, that's cool, that's cool."

So the fraternity was rushing these young kids, who had just graduated from various metro-Atlanta schools, such as Parkview and Lassiter. As you can imagine, every single "dude" there had on boat shoes/flip-flops, khaki shorts above the knee, and tucked in polo shirts (3 pink ones). I have a problem with this.

You KNOW that these cultureless metro-Atlanta runts were making decisions in Publix 2 years ago about whether to go with the flexible or "sport" style of LA Looks hair gel. They were excited about the new Linkin Park CD. They brought their slut girlfriend with them when they went to get their eyebrow or ear pierced. They were drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade at Lake Lanier while wearing flower-patterned board shorts. They said "Sweet!" when their parents got them those 24s and the subwoofer.

Then on College Day they visited UGA's campus and had a wake up call. That next day, Mom was happy to take them to JC Penny and get them respectable clothes that her and Daddy were too passive to make them wear as they were growing up. Thanks, baby boomer parents, for your complete lack of backbone.

So now you can find these traditionless brats in "General's" drinking out of mason jars and singing "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" at the top of their lungs. If someone could please give me back my BC sheltered mind so that I can once again not have any knowledge of other kids in my generation.

The People Have Spoken...

...and have named Ronald Reagan the Greatest American of all time.

Right on, America.

A Booming Voice

On Friday, my friend Chris Cobb and I attended a Braves game at The Ted. Inside the stadium we swipe our Bravo Club cards which give us various useless one-day coupons. One of them is for a free poster at the Bravo Club Headquarters, so we make the 15 minute walk. I ask the guy behind the table for my free poster and he hands it to me.

Then he says something like, "Congratulations! It's your lucky day!" and started to hand me a sheet of paper. At this point I'm avoiding eye contact because I think he's trying to sell me something and I will have to turn him down. But he tells me that I have been picked to say "Play Ball!" before the game. Of course, I start asking idiot questions like: "Are you being serious?" "On the field?" "In front of everybody?" Yes, Ryan, yes.

So a hot little intern leads us down to the close seats explaining the order of things and I am surprisingly not too nervous. I'm more happy and excited than anything. Once they start introducing the players one-by-one, I go onto the field, stand in the middle of the On-Deck Circle, and look at the camera far away underneath the 9-story hi-def board.

"And pitching for the Atlanta Braves: Kyle Davies!" ::applause::
"Now, introducing Bravo Club member Ryan Smith to lead us off for tonight's game!"

The upper-half of my body appears as a 9-story giant on the screen. I imagine people could see my blackheads quite well. I knew I couldn't half-ass this task that was appointed to me, so in my most cheesy "Let's Get Ready to Rumble!" voice, I drew out a "LET'S plaaaAAYY BAAAALLLLL!" In my excitement during the applause, I smiled and stuck out my tongue. I don't know why. One of the ladies in charge of things pointed at me and said, "Now, that's how you do it!" The hot intern told me it was one of the best she had ever heard.

A group of people my age sitting next to me were looking at me towards the start of the game and eventually the guy next to me asked, "Did you say, 'Play Ball?'" I love being a celebrity.

Bacci Ball Remembered

While anticipating the glorious July 3rd holiday on Tybee Island (second only to St. Patrick's Day,) I have been doing a little research. As you can see, this painting is a rendition of the first annual BGAA (Big Guy Athletic Association) July 3rd World Bacci Ball Championship circa 1668.
The one showing his effeminate carry through after the toss is Charlie Russo's ancestor... Giavoni Russo. Immediately left overseeing play (and contemplating the next rule change) is O'Donavan Ryan, ancestor of the Tybee Ryans. The man in black who seems to be really pissed off at a suspected cheater is none other than Padraig Powers, the great-great-great-great-great-great- grandfather to our present day Chatham County Tax Commissioner, Danny Powers.
The man with hands held behind one's back is Diarmuid Kevin Sheehan, ancestor of Kevin Sheehan- the hairy. The prissy man in the gold balloon pants is the first mayor of Tybee, Liam Burke, whose descendant Jimmy Burke will also hold the office of mayor.
The identity of the women sitting in the chair is speculative. Most of the experts have concluded that she is the sole ancestor of the women known as "the- one- tooth- wonders" that plague Doc's Bar to this day.

Imminent Domination

In case you haven't heard, on Thursday the Supreme Court handed down a horrific 5-4 decision in Kelo v. City of New London that officially allows the government to seize private property for private economic development, all in the name of "public use".

The Fifth Amendment clearly states that private property "shall not be taken for public use, without just compensation." And so it is no controversy that the government could, for example, take your home in Vernonburg in exchange for its market value and build part of the Truman Parkway in its place, or build a military base. While this is unfortunate, it is lawful and a necessary evil. But that's not what is at issue here.

In Kelo, the court gave city governments the green light to seize property for third party interests (in this case, it was a shopping mall that was proposed), all in the name of economic "revitalization." In other words, if Kroger wants to build a store on your land, even if you don't want to sell, too bad. Chatham County officials could force your out home and sell it to Kroger. Why? Because the Kroger would bring in more tax dollars than you as a homeowner does.

Thursday was a big win for big government. Ever thirsty for more and more tax revenue (which is now part of the "public benefit"), city and county officials will stop at nothing to expand the tax base. Governments may take private property and give it to anyone they like, and all they have to do is say that this serves some public purpose.

Justice Clarence Thomas, a staunch defender of liberty, property rights, and the Constitution in general (and whose birthplace is 10 minutes from where I am typing this very post), wrote the most eloquent dissent:

Today's decision is simply the latest in a string of our cases construing the Public Use Clause to be a virtual nullity, without the slightest nod to its original meaning. In my view, the Public Use Clause, originally understood, is a meaningful limit on the government's eminent domain power. Our cases have strayed from the Clause's original meaning, and I would reconsider them.

Right on Clarence.

The very foundation of civilization is private property, and with this decision, no one's property is safe. Russell Kirk, the father of modern conservatism, wrote in the 1950s that

Freedom and property are closely linked. Separate property from private possession, and Leviathan becomes master of all. Upon the foundation of private property, great civilizations are built. The more widespread is the possession of private property, the more stable and productive is a commonwealth.

The last traces of the founder's intentions to limit the government's eminent domain power have been erased. I know it sounds bad, but I really can't wait for a few these left-wingers on the bench to hurry up and die so Bush can finally appoint some constructionists to go in and reverse the disasterous course this and previous courts have embarked upon.

Another Conversation With Trey Aimar

Scene: Tubby's Thursday Sunset. Steven Doan plays for a softball team that Trey Aimar is also a member of.

Doan: Why weren't you at the softball game the other night?

Trey: You didn't hear?

Doan: No.

Trey: I had hernia surgery, Bubba. Sixteen inches. Here to here. (uses forefingers to demonstrate on Doan the length of his scar)

A New Chapter

Bought me a new pair of Sperrys the other day, using the $50 I won on the McBride-Tyson fight last week (me and Will had the same bet, only I really did "need a new pair of shoes"). They were on sale at Dillard's. This time, I didn't go with the popular "Authentic Original" model but instead invested in a pair of the more durable "Mako" model, shown below in the same "Amaretto" tone that I chose. These are the same color as my old ones, but will probably last a few years longer.



Trust me, these new Makos are really hot right now. When I wear them, you can hear them scream "hey, I'm 22, I've graduated from the original UGA frat boy boat shoe, and I'm moving on to bigger and better things in life (like earning minimum wage at a Savannah law firm)."

Thank You, Kevin McBride

I don't care if Mike Tyson threw the fight or if you'll never be a legitimate heavyweight contender. You still won me $50. ERIN GO BRAGH!

Communism Sucks

Right now I am in Vienna, Austria which is a really cool cíty. We decided to go out last night for "happy hour" and "ladies night". This so-called "happy hour" lasted for a few hours, but consisted of drinks for 4 euros. Now to me that is no deal because 4 euros is about 6 dollars. And also the "ladies night", which consisted of free drinks for the ladies over a 30 minute period, sucked as well because they took their sweet ass time getting the drinks. Katie ordered a drink at the beginning of the "ladies night" and did not get it until the end of the 30 minutes. And it was funny because the entire bar cleared out after the "ladies night". It seemed like this city formerly under soviet control needs Bourbon street power hour. You have to give the people what they want and that is dollar liqour drinks.

Navy's 2005 Captains

Naval Academy's football players have elected their two captains for the 2005 season. Former Benedictine quarterback Lamar Owens (Savannah, GA) and Jeremy Chase (Norfolk, VA) will co-serve this position. Lamar will also become Navy's starting quarterback for 2005. This is an amazing accomplishment. Especially since this is the best Navy football team in 99 years. He has already scored at touchdown against Army, maybe Lamar will produce one against Notre Dame. Good job Owens.

Bathroom Politics

Posted inside the bathroom at the MPC building is a notice that reads:

In order to avoid clogging the commode, please flush waste and toilet paper seperately. This is necessitated by the low water level imposed by state regulations to conserve water.

It seems to me that two flushes from a water-conserving toilet would use more water than one flush from a standard toilet. However, I have no data to support my claim. Let me get something down on paper and I will reply back with my results.

Socialist Insecurity

It's that time of year again, when many of us stop riding the gravy train (at least temporary) and start working. Many of us, having graduated, are making that big step into the real world. But when you go to pick up that first paycheck on Friday, you might notice something that should piss you off.

First, the government will tax your income, at a rate determined by how successful and hard-working you are. That in itself is morally reprehensible (and unconstitutional), but it is for another post.

THEN, the government will take an additional 12.6% out of your paycheck and put it in the Social Security "Trust" Fund.

I remember when I started working at Piggly Wiggly in June of 1999; after I looked at my first paycheck I went home and asked Mama: "Do I HAVE to pay this 12.6? I don't trust the government with it."

"Yes, honey, you do. You don't have a choice. In theory, the government will give it back to you when you get old and retire."

"But I don't trust them to do it. Why can't I just take the 12.6 myself and put it into a cookie jar? Certainly I would do a better job taking care of my own money than the government would."

"Sorry, it just doesn't work that way."

This goes back to the whole "If you're paying, I'll have filet mignon" problem. No one knows how better to save and invest their own money than themselves, and no one knows how better to spend and waste money that somebody else. Government officials have already dipped their dirty hands into the trust fund numerous times to fund specialized pork barrel projects, and they will continue to do so as long as we keep feeding this corrupt system.

For years, the Democrats have worked hard (you have to give them credit) on creating an entitlement society that no one can question. According to them, if you support privatizing social security, you must be some sort of extreme right-wing Nazi who doesn't care about old people.

Here at this blog, we will continue to support W. and his efforts to create the ownership society. If you want to keep giving your 13% to the government, that's fine, JUST DON'T FORCE ME TO DO IT TOO. In short, not only should social security be privatized, but it should be abolished in the long run.

Get Rich Quick Scheme #346

Have you noticed how loosely the word "tycoon" is thrown around these days? What exactly is a tycoon anyways? And how does one become a tycoon?

Historically, "tycoon" has simply been an arbitrary title given to your run-of-the-mill billionaire. Not anymore. My plan is to establish an international tycoon registry board. The board would define criteria for attaining tycoon status and bestow the title only upon deserving individuals.

The way I see it, you would only need to get one high-profile client. Then, the rest would follow in order to "keep up with the Jones's."

More Bad News

According to Savannahnow, BC will stay in AAA until 2008. Such a decision calls into question what the true purpose of BC is. As I have said numerous times before, BC needs to prioritize its goals. Here is the proper ranking:

1. Football (specifically, fielding an undefeated team that plays in AAAAA and doesn't have to recruit). This is like the Alpha and the Omega of everything. If everyone, in theory, is paying $7,000+ a year, we should be able to have the best football program in the coastal empire, hands down. And we ought to treat the freshmen football managers pretty well, too.

2. Military.

3. Basketball.

4. Academics.

5. Baseball.

Staying in AAA certainly helps goals 3 and 5, but it kills 1, and you have to remember that 1 pays for 3 and 5. You can buy all the computers you want and post all of the fancy ads in Savannah Magazine you want, but that doesn't change the fact that the biggest advertisement for the school is Friday nights at Memorial Stadium during the Fall.

Please post your thoughts.

Making the Grade

A new report, disclosing and comparing both Bush and Kerry's grades at Yale, that will certainly shock all of Park Hall and the rest of the Starbucks crowd.

In the Liberal Tradition

I am typing this post right now because I am completely worthless. I have no job and class doesn't start until Thursday. If I weren't typing this, I'd be driving on HWY 80 right now after a fun filled day of playing Bacci Ball on the beach. But as some of you can guess, I am sitting in Athens right now because one of my brothers in Savannah (Hint; he refers to himself as "Big Daddy") drove me nuts over the weekend.

Earlier today I was reading Southern Appeal, and in doing so I followed some links until I stumbled on a peculiar website, The Acton Institute. For those of you who give a damn, Lord Acton was a 19th century Historian. For one thing, he was a Catholic Lord in England, very unusual. He was considered one of the most learned people of his time. Most notably Acton was invited to participate in the first Vatican Council. He also represented a precinct of Ireland known as Carlow in Parliament as a member of Gladstone's Liberal Party (whose causes included liberties for Catholics in Ireland and for the ultimate independence of Ireland, which wasn't realized until years after their deaths.)

I bring this guy up because this website shows that the meaning of Acton's "Liberalism" is much different from what "Liberalism" means today (I remember Jane Dolan mentioned something about this phenomena back in her government class. ) Acton implies that Liberalism entails supporting a decentralized confederate government (as opposed to a federal government,) religious freedom, economic freedom (capitalism/free trade.) And if you look at the definition of Liberty; "The condition of being free from restriction or control", Acton's meaning of "Liberalism" makes sense. John Locke, Thomas Jefferson, and St. Thomas Aquinas are few of the many scholars that support this view of "Liberalism". All these people also stressed the importance of the Judea Christian influence on our basis of government. This all sounds a lot like what truly "conservative" Americans believe in today.

Ironically, "Liberalism" today signifies unlimited centralized government, socialist welfare, fear of religion, restricted economies, Hillary Clinton's "It takes a village" crap. Crazy huh?

I say contemporary "conservatives" are attempting to conserve the liberties being lost to contemporary "liberals."

And another thing, I'm confused about what the deal is with relativist, button wearing professors at colleges today. How can these people totally ignore what Acton, Locke, Jefferson, and St. Thomas Aquinas' theories have produced?

All Hail Lord Acton!